


The fragile, the broken

by nonotwithoutyou



Series: Hospital For Souls [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Omega Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, long chapters ahead, spoilers for those movies obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 53,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20417111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonotwithoutyou/pseuds/nonotwithoutyou
Summary: Bucky re-enters Steve's life in the 21st Century — or not —.





	1. Silent halls and nameless faces

**Author's Note:**

> Oi, galerinha!!!!!!!! 
> 
> How are you guys? It feels like a thousand years since I last posted 🙊  
But hey, I'm back for this sequel of Start Again and I have to tell you to get ready for looooooong chapters. I tried to be as less repetitive or transcribing the movies as possible because I found kinda boring when the entire script is in a work, and I hope I did it well :3
> 
> Bom, happy reading and see you on the next one! 
> 
> Beijinhos,
> 
> Fab.

Steve knew he had issues, ok? And he was working on them, but he was certain he wasn’t crazy. So why in the hell his bonding bite felt like if the other person was alive?

It was February the first time that Steve paralyzed at the feeling. He had been cooking with Clara when he _felt_ the bond _pulsing_, weakly so, but pulsing anyway.

It wasn’t that often that happened though, and when it did, Steve dropped everything he was doing to try to make the connection stronger, to ease the pain that the other side was transmitting, but after almost 70 years, the bonding had weakened.

He told Nat what was happening and she had furrowed her perfectly plucked eyebrows at him, “_Steve, Bucky is not here anymore,” s_he had said, and yes, he knew that… but the bond was alive, active and he believed he was going insane.

In other news, they had successfully moved to Washington D.C. with Clara and Ari. Fury had assured him that the building was secured at all times, and his apartment was surprisingly big, it has a room for him, Ari and Clara, as well as a kitchen, living room and laundry room. Nat lived on the floor above his, and they had a private elevator to connect them in case something happened.

Steve’s biggest challenge wasn’t related to the moving or adapting to the new city, it was choosing a safe house for Ari, knowing that in that way he accepted that his son could be in danger, his worst nightmare. But he did it, he put all his trust in Clara and Fury if they ever had to use the option.

Speaking of Ari, he wasn’t affected by the moving. He missed his uncle Tony and Clint, but he still had auntie Nat and his mama, so he was perfectly fine with the new city, new apartment and new room. In the months they were in D.C. he had learned to walk without using the furniture to hold on, and it was a problem because he ran away at any chance he got. If it happened in the apartment or the building was fine, but one day he had run away from Steve in the park while he tied his laces, and almost had a panic attack at the realization that Ari wasn’t by his side anymore. Steve’s heart was at two seconds away to shatter, until he saw him hiding behind a tree and had fallen to his knees sniffling. Ari started to cry feeling that he had made his mama upset, and Steve hugged him to his chest, not even trying to hide his tears. “_You know you don’t have to run, baby, please don’t do it again, you can get lost and you’ll be sad and I’ll be sad, and we don’t want that to happen, ok?”_

After that episode, Tony sent him a child leash… and that cost him two days of Steve not answering his calls.

One thing that Steve, Ari, Clara, and Nat missed, was Jarvis. You never knew how helpful the AI was until you didn’t have him anymore to help in everyday activities. And Steve had to admit he felt the new security measures weren’t enough, he had trusted Jarvis with that task for two years and he had proved to be effective.

Steve also got a new uniform, it was stealth and comfortable, it had to be his favorite one between the original star and spangled one that was at the exhibition in the Smithsonian and the one he had worn in the New York Battle. The first time Ari saw him wearing it, he almost cried until he took off the helmet and kneeled on the floor for him to run to his arms. However, Ari’s favorite accessory was the shield, he dragged it around the entire apartment when he was bored, singing Disney songs and then installing it in his room to sit inside it and play with his toys.

In winter, Ari also used the shield to slide on the snow with Nat or Steve, and honestly, he never thought of better use to give to something he associated with fights and missions.

According to Steve, his baby boy looked even more like his father every day, he saw Bucky’s face every time he observed him, the only difference was the hair, that was still changing from dirty blonde to brown. But the eye color was his, the adorable nose and pouty lips were his, even his chin was his.

In SHIELD business, he had short missions that lasted no more than two days, he was part of/or in charge of the Special Tactical Reserve for International Key Emergencies aka STRIKE when it was necessary, along with Nat and sometimes Clint. He had other… partners in missions, like Rumlow, that was the leader of STRIKE and Rollings, his second in command, he only saw them on missions if the team assisted him or Nat, but couldn’t help to have a weird feeling about them.

When he wasn’t training, spending quality time with Ari or in missions, he was at the Triskelion, one of the primary SHIELD Headquarters. There, Fury kept him busy between meetings for future missions or training new recruits on the premises.

Since they had arrived, Nat and Steve were anxious to know what Fury had under his sleeve or what was happening in SHIELD, but he was still a tomb, not even Nat could get information out of him.

Things were quiet on this particular day, Steve went out for his run in the morning and he kinda made a new friend by annoying him. His name was Sam Wilson, that explained he used to be a soldier like him. Then Nat picked him up for a mission, called him a fossil and went straight to the Triskelion. He video-called Ari to let him know he wasn’t going back home that day, and following his apologies to his pup, Steve suited up with STRIKE, threw himself from the plane without a parachute to avoid Nat’s attempt to speak of his love life, and did his job. He truly understood that she was worried for him after he confessed feeling the bond, but c’ mon, she was trying to set him up with anything that walked, and Steve wasn’t ready to date, he wanted to spend time with his son and work, his heart wasn’t ready to welcome anyone else.

The next morning he went back home posterior to talking with Fury regarding some communication issues and protection projects Steve didn’t approve of, like if a world surrounded by weapons could be safe or call it protection, protection his ass.

Ari was still sleeping soundly and Clara was eating breakfast, so he said hi, took a shower and ate breakfast too. He talked to Clara about taking Ari to see the exhibition at the museum in the afternoon, he had never taken him and the last time he had seen it was at the opening. And he had another plan for that day, he was going to visit an old friend and he wanted to introduce Ari to that person. He changed to jeans and a white t-shirt to get ready for the day but left the shoes forgotten when he listened to Ari’s voice.

“Mama, you’re home!” Ari exclaimed as he saw him exiting his room and jog his way to the kitchen where he was.

“Hi, my pretty Bubba, hi,” he said taking him with a smile and kissing his cheeks. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I missed you,” he pouted his lips adorably and Steve smiled more, how was even possible to be that cute?.

“But I’m sure you had Teddy to protect you, right?” he pointed to the Teddy bear in the counter, “he’s your best friend after all.”

“Yes, but you’re better, mama,” he left a loud kiss on his cheek that made him melt and Clara smiled at them.

“He slept like a king but I had to make him fall asleep on your bed, then I passed him to his room,” she explained while handing a warm bottle to Ari.

“Thanks,” the pup said taking it and starting to drink the milk, Steve watched him in awe, his eyes shaped into hearts, he smiled again when Ari smiled at him and rested his head on his shoulder.

“You know I love you, don’t you, Bubba?” Ari nodded and Steve kissed him once again, “I love you so much, you have no idea.” The pup sank harder into his shoulder and chest, and he walked to the living room to put on his baby’s favorite cartoons.

Clara went out to get groceries an instant later, leaving Steve and Ari watching tv, the latter taking his breakfast in his favorite place, his mama’s arms. “I was thinking we could go on a little adventure today, what do you think?” he asked Ari before he finished his bottle, and the look on his face said everything, they were definitely going out.

Steve wrote a note for Clara, put on his shoes and a black coat —plus an undercover baseball cap—, then dressed Ari in a similar outfit with an Iron Man beanie and comfy Converses. They went down to the garage, Steve put Ari on his seat inside the black-armored Audi SUV and he drove to the Smithsonian first, in the middle of kids' songs and a few radio ones.

They went to the History and Culture museum, and luckily for Steve, Ari wasn't a handful for the day, he made a lot of questions because he couldn’t read, and didn’t let go of his mama’s hand to run away. When they reached Captain America’s exhibition, Ari was in Steve’s arms, his beautiful eyes open in wonder and trying to communicate as many questions he could to Steve. He, of course, recognized his mother, and it was nice to see his father in the Howling Commandos section, too. Steve spoke to him most of the time, explaining what was written on the walls, telling him some sugar-coated stories and answering Ari’s curious, childish questions.

Steve avoided Bucky’s memorial, he didn’t want to ruin the day by telling his son that his father was —_supposedly_— dead. Instead, he distracted him in the gift shop and the Nature Museum, which Ari enjoyed much more than the History one.

They had lunch in a small diner that wasn’t too crowded and because Ari had behaved so well, Steve bought him a chocolate chips cookie as dessert. He took him a picture to send to Nat that was at the Triskelion, and let her know their next destination.

Steve had visited Peggy Carter before, and he had promised he was going to take Ari someday so she could meet him personally and not just by the pictures he had on his personal StarkPhone.

“Oh my!” Peggy exclaimed when he entered the room, she was sitting on her bed and a big smile on her face. “Look who decided to come to visit…” she interrupted herself by gasping, noticing Steve wasn’t alone as he had been in his previous visits. “Steve…”

“Hi, Peg… how have you been?”

“Oh, don’t even try, Rogers! Bring him closer!”

Ari had both his arms around his neck and his pacifier was on duty, he had napped in the car ride so he was half asleep, his beanie lost in the car seat and his hair disheveled, he looked simply adorable. “Peg, this is Harika, we call him Ari for short… he’s my baby,” he said sitting on the chair next to the bed, “Ari, this one of mama’s friends, Peggy.”

Ari sleepily waved at her and extended his arms at the bed, his nap in the car seat hadn’t been as pleasant as it had looked from Steve’s perspective. Peggy motioned Steve to come closer and let Ari climb to her lap carefully, before settling in there thanks to her hands slowly and lovingly combing his hair.

“Hello there, hi Ari,” she said admiring the cute boy on her lap. “Steve… he looks like him,” she whispered.

“I know…”

“He has his eyes for sure, that blue it’s hard to forget,” she smiled at the half-asleep pup and he smiled back, he could sense she was relaxed and it was making him feel the same. “I already told you when you told me you were a mother, but congratulations, Steve, he’s really handsome and adorable… and so sleepy, has he had his nap, Rogers? What were you doing that was more important than your son’s nap?” she reproached half-joking and half-serious.

“I took him to the Smithsonian to breath some fresh air and to the exhibition, he had fun in the Nature Museum and napped in the car.”

“A car is not a place for a pup to nap in, oh, poor thing,” she said, her eyes not leaving Ari. “Had momma hasn’t let you sleep, my darling?” she asked him, his answer were his lids finally closing and giving in to her sweet contact.

“I was thinking of going back home to let him have his nap, but we weren’t far away from here, and I had promised to bring him for you to meet him,” Steve said smiling at the sight in front of him.

“Thank you, Steve,” Peggy smiled, “I’m happy I got to meet him and know that you’ll have a life to live with him… I would hate for you to be alone in this world, it has changed so much…”

She knew Steve had new friends like Natasha, but she also knew that the Steve she had met in the 40s wasn’t used to live without his mate. Peggy’s main concern the first time he saw him, was that he couldn’t live without his Bucky at all, and tried to attempt against his life. Knowing he had a son made her feel better for him because he was going to have someone to accompany him that was a little piece of Bucky. Attached to this, Peggy didn’t know the rough start that Steve’s life had had when he woke up and he never wanted to disgust her with it. He had just told her about waking up, fighting with the Avengers and then finding out he was pregnant, it was better that way.

“Yeah… now I have to learn about this century to teach him,” Steve commented.

“But you like it already, and having pups was one of the things you used to want.”

“I know, I know, I’ll never complain about him, he’s my treasure, and it’s my pleasure to show him the world, we’re in this together.”

“Yes, you are… you’re lucky to have each other, he has an amazing mother and you have an amazing son,” Peggy said, her hands hadn’t stopped caressing Ari’s hair and the smile on her face wasn’t leaving.

“Thanks, Peggy.”

“You know, my niece is going to visit me today… you’re invited to stay and say hi…”

“Oh, no, not you too,” Steve lamented with a sigh.

Nat wasn’t the only one playing Cupid on his love life, Peggy insisted on Steve getting to know her niece, Sharon, that also had a job at SHIELD and was tired of dating people that worked with her, and well, technically Steve had never done it.

“It’ll be good for you to get to know someone, Steve, don’t you think?”

“I want to focus my attention on Ari, I’m definitely not ready to date, not even for lunch… I don’t want to, it’s simple.”

“Are you sure? Or is it because you felt the bond pulsing?” she asked innocently, and it was a horrible time to feel it again, stronger this time.

Steve sighed again and hid the sensation, “I don’t know what that means, and it’s not the reason why I don’t want to put myself out there, Peggy… I need more time for me and my son.”

“Fine, I’ll stop bringing Sharon to the conversation, but please don’t close your heart…”

“I’ll try,” Steve said not convinced, but it convinced Peggy enough that changed the subject and entertained him for more time than planned.

Fortunately, Sharon never showed up, because Ari was still off the grid and no one else but the Avengers, Clara, Pepper, Peggy, Rhodey and Fury knew of him, and Steve pretended to keep it that way. He said goodbye to Peggy and had to take the still sleeping kid out of her bed, promising he was going to bring him again when it wasn’t his nap time.

Ari woke up hungry in the middle of the short trip back to their apartment, and a snack of homemade sweet rice pudding was waiting for him when they arrived, that Clara had made while they were out.

A few hours before dinner, Steve left Ari at home to take his bike and drive to the Department of Veteran Affairs, where Sam said he worked and had invited Steve to go. He got there right when one of the meetings was finishing, he heard the last minutes and talked to Sam for a while, but his phone rang in the middle of their conversation and he had to apologize to answer it.

“Cap?”

“Fury.”

“I don’t know where you are, but I need you at your apartment, Simba needs to fly to his kingdom,” Steve’s heart stopped, his eyes widened and he felt his lungs stop functioning. “Did you hear me? Deep shadow conditions.”

“I’ll be right there,” he answered, his hand was shaking when he put the phone back on his pockets and Sam walked to him again.

“Hey man, are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“I-I’m fine… I need to go, though… thanks for inviting me, Sam.”

“It was a pleasure, Cap, come back whenever you want,” he said with a smile that Steve had to return weakly to not worry him.

Steve ran to his motorcycle once Sam was out of sight, his breath was coming out in pants when he called Clara to get their bags ready. Nat called him almost at the same time he hung up the call, telling him that she was going to the apartment to help Clara pack and to take them to the place Fury had told her to.

While stopping on a red light, Steve’s bonding bite sent a shock of distress and being as overwhelmed as he was, his eyes watered in an instant. His bond with his dead mate had been active for the past months despite Bucky’s death and he was worried about sending Ari away for God knew how much time. Seemed like shit had finally hit the fan, and Steve had to be grateful for Fury’s move, especially with all that the rest of the day had in store for him.

Nat’s car was in the garage at his arrival, he ran to the elevator and ran to his apartment door, she was there entertaining Ari in the living room and there were already two suitcases by the kitchen. Steve knew those were made in case of extreme emergency, so Clara was finishing packing frenetically some extra things, like new clothes and Ari’s toys.

“Mama?” Ari asked sensing the heavy atmosphere the adults around him were in, Steve walked to him and immediately clutched him to his chest.

“Bubba, you’re going on a trip!” he said with a smile, trying to ease things for his son. “You’re going with Clara, alright? Mama and auntie Nat have to stay.”

“No mama, I stay too!”

“Ari…” Steve whispered, Nat’s phone rang and she gave him a last look before going to the kitchen to answer it, “Bubba… I love you.”

“I love you too, mama…”

“I promise you it won’t be for a long time, ok?” he kissed his cheeks and brushed his hair with his free hand. “Where you’re going is going to be calm and it’s summer, so you can play with water and run in a green garden instead of a cold, white one… what do you think?”

“I want mama to go,” Ari said putting his head on his shoulder, “please mama.”

“I’m so sorry, baby, I can’t, not this time…”

“Steve, time to go,” Nat said coming out the kitchen with the two suitcases on her hands and Clara behind her with another one.

Steve kissed Ari’s forehead and went to grab one bag from Nat in autopilot mode. They took his SUV, put the bags on the trunk and the women sat on the front, Steve and Ari talked quietly in the backseat. Ari was sobbing already and he was trying to calm him, telling him all the good things their vacation house had, promising over and over that he was going to join them in a couple of days, that they weren’t going to be apart for a long time.

Someway in the middle of the promises and kisses on the head, Ari fell asleep for the second time that day, and Steve knew it wasn’t going to last, so he sighed in relief when they got to the private airport. There was a private plane waiting for them, two men working there helped to get the bags on it and Steve boarded with Ari curled on his chest. The cabin crew was finishing getting things ready and while Nat checked with the pilots, Steve was crying silent tears.

“Steve, we’re going to be ok, I won’t let anything happen to him,” Clara said, she was waiting for him to pass Ari to her.

“It’s… we’re never been apart for too long,” he said, “the last time was a few weeks after he was born and it was for two days, not even while working at SHIELD I had left him for two whole days… and this… whatever that it’s happening, we don’t even know how many days is going to take…”

“Steve,” said Nat from behind him, a friendly hand on his shoulder, “we understand how you feel, and I understand that it was sudden… but it’s the best for him, you are needed here and it’s getting dangerous within the minutes,” she rubbed Ari’s back with a sigh, “the sooner the plane takes off, the less danger he is in.”

“And you saw how he got when you told him about traveling without you… it’ll be better now that he’s asleep,” Clara added sweetly.

Steve’s instincts never wanted to let Ari go, but his common sense had acknowledged Nat’s words, and he had no choice but to kiss his son’s forehead, his cheeks and let him in Clara’s arms. “Take care of him, please,” he begged.

“I will,” she said nodding. “Be safe, he needs you, ok?”

“Yeah…” he answered, his eyes fixated on Ari, “tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Clara nodded again and just when Ari moved his head in dreams, one of the pilots told them they were ready to leave.

Steve and Nat exited the plane after giving Ari one last kiss and when the plane took off, with Steve still sniffling about letting his baby go to the safe house, Nat took the wheel to take them back to their building.

“Nick’s not picking up,” Nat said in surrender, the building was just a block away and she had been trying to reach him since they left the airport.

“Maybe he’s busy,” Steve suggested absently.

“I’ll go see why Nick didn’t make it to the airport,” she said crossing the last corner and entering the garage to change cars, “you go ahead and relax for a while until he calls us again.”

Steve said nothing, he got off the car and walked to the elevator while Nat left in her Corvette.

Little did they know, that shit had really hit the fan. Fury wasn’t at whatever that Nat was going, he was in Steve’s apartment, hurt and escaping from the man that shot him right when he was talking to Steve. One of his neighbors turned out to be a SHIELD agent undercover that was taking care of him on Nick’s orders, and then the shooter had stopped his shield with his bare hands and threw it back to him.

Fury died in front of him and Nat in the hospital, Steve was escorted back to SHIELD, where they tried to arrest him and failed miserably. And at the moment he was a fugitive from the organization he had worked for the past months along with Nat and searching for help in Sam’s house, he knew he was going to be eternally grateful with Fury for taking his son out on time.

Among other things, Steve kept his mouth shut about it, but the connection through bond was going crazy, like him. The connection had gotten stronger with time, he could feel what the other side was feeling, because yes, there was definitely someone on the other side, he wasn’t hallucinating, damn it, he felt it, it was like if Bucky had never died and was in constant pain.

He tried to hide it the best he could while he still tried to swallow the bitter taste of knowing that Hydra had been alive all that time inside SHIELD in plain sight, he hide it while they made a plan, while Nat stole Sam’s wings, while they kidnapped Sitwell. He completely forgot about it when the infamous Winter Soldier came for them on the highway, he was in full survival mode and on full 'keep my friends alive' mode.

He knew for sure that that had been the same man who had shot Fury and he was incredibly well trained, strong, fast and the metal arm was an extra that didn’t help to bring him down. Also, it didn’t help that he wasn’t alone, he had an entire team helping him to kill them, just like he had done with Sitwell a few minutes ago. Steve understood why he was called a ghost story by the intelligence community, he moved and looked like one, it was impossible to tell who he was, the mask kept him in perfect anonymity.

In the middle of the fight the soldier had lost his goggles or whatever he was using to cover his eyes, Steve was so focused on trying to, not even kill him, but to knock him out at least, he didn’t notice the eye color was the same he saw everyday on his son’s face, he didn’t realize why the hair color was way too familiar, or why his bond was pulsing harder than usual.

But, of course he wouldn’t notice. Those blue eyes weren’t gentle and loving anymore, they didn’t scream ‘I love you’ or ‘I wanna protect you’. They weren’t full of innocence like Ari’s, either. They were cold and calculating instead, they looked at him as if they hadn’t been friends since childhood, like if they hadn’t been mates. Like if he didn’t know him.

The real nightmare though, came when Steve was able to remove what was remaining of the mask, turning him into a ball of shock, anger, and some kind of weird comfort.

“Bucky?”

He seemed confused, and it truly wasn’t the Bucky he had known, but there he was, he was alive and breathing and in front of him and holding a gun to kill him and his puzzled expression letting him know that he wasn’t aware that it was his name what he was speaking.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Those words hang to Steve like a cloak of desolation and misery as they were arrested and saved by Maria Hill. His mind was conflicted between wanting to know and stay ignorant of what Hydra had done to Bucky to transform him into… into what he was, into the Winter Soldier, into a man that didn’t recognize his own partner, and what’s more, a man that was willing to kill his mate.

His brain functioned enough to plot against the Hydra Uprising with his team, Fury —yes, alive, son of a bitch—, Maria, Sam and Nat, to intervene the Helicarriers of the Insight Project and stop the attempt to take the world on the hands of Pierce.

Fury gave him an hour to gear up, and for Steve, it meant to go and steal his old uniform from the Smithsonian, not only because he couldn’t access his new stealth one, but because he thought it will trigger something inside Bucky. Well, he was hoping it will, hoping his Bucky was still inside that hard shell that Hydra had built for him.

Right before jumping into battle, Fury let Steve know that Simba and Nala had landed in their destination and they were on their way to their kingdom, which relaxed him a little. —Just for the record, those code names were chosen by Fury, the day they were discussing that on Steve’s apartment in the Avengers Tower, Ari had been watching The Lion King and well… Fury was tired—.

Steve took a look at his compass while the new team got over the last details, he used to have a picture of Bucky on his Sergeant uniform in it, he still had it and now it was covered with a small photo of Ari on Christmas. He silently promised his son he was going to fight to make the world better for him, to make it safer and to do everything he could to try to bring his father back.

Unfortunately, even with Maria’s and Nat’s help and Sam’s suit, taking down the Helicarriers wasn’t easy, not when the Hydra agents were trying to kill him for that and when they were majority inside SHIELD.

However, locking Alpha and Bravo was a walk in the park compared to locking Charlie, that was Steve’s job. The Winter Soldier had intercepted them once they were on the last Helicarrier, Sam’s suit was ruined and Steve had barely succeeded on entering the plane.

It broke Steve’s heart to finally realize that Bucky didn’t remember him or that the suit was of no help at all. It broke his heart to fight him to lock the system and stop Hydra, but he had to do it, he was on the way of a mass killing… and he threw his shield at him. Bucky shot, fought and did the impossible to not let Steve finish his mission because that was what he was told to do.

Steve punched and got punched, he got shot, he tried really hard to not hurt Bucky so badly he would regret it later, he wanted him to pass out and then he was going to see what to do. He did just that after dislocating Bucky’s shoulder and letting go of him to lock the last aircraft. He was seconds away from doing it, but Bucky didn’t stay out for a long time, and he shot him again. He locked Charlie with no seconds to spare, and in the background, he could hear the other two Helicarriers shooting and collapsing.

Steve wasn’t thinking right when he ordered Maria to fire Charlie while he was still on it, hurt and with a brain-washed Bucky that was willing to kill him. But God, Bucky, brain-washed or not, was trapped and up to an imminent death if he didn’t help him. And it was Bucky, he had to help him, like he had done with him his whole life back in Brooklyn, back in the war. Steve didn’t want to fight him again, he refused to it, and he showed him so when he let the shield, his only weapon, and defense, fall to the Potomac underneath them.

The Asset was conflicted. The man on the bridge had called him _Bucky_, not Asset, not soldier. Then he called him _Buck, _and as he punched, stabbed and shot the man that was his mission, there was a small voice in his mind screaming, begging, crying, pleading him to _stop_, to drop the weapon, to please not hurt him, to please leave him alone.

“You know me.”

_A happy couple walked down the street holding hands in the middle of the night, the small blonde laughed as the asset, younger-looking and happy, admired his smiling face. _

"No, I don’t!”

“Bucky… you’ve known me your whole life…”

_It was the second time that week that the small blonde got punched during a break at school for standing up to bullies, and while a woman that looked like him gave him a lecture, the asset held a cold bag on the blonde’s eye._

_“_Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

_James! Breakfast is ready, come down before it’s too late for school!_

_Buck, can you help me with my hair? It’s getting too long for me to braid it!_

_Bucky! Grab my hand! _

“Shut up!”

The voice became louder as his mission refused to fight him, as he let his shield fall, and went crazy at that. _Did he just… did he…? Oh, punk, you’re a reckless punk._

_“_You’re my friend.”

_“Just friends, my ass!” a man with a remarkable mustache said in a bar with a beer on his hand, “you two love each other and I say this on behalf of all the Howling Commandos, that we don’t care that Cap is an Omega, you can love yourselves all you want, fellas!”_

The soldier launched himself to the unarmed man, the voice got even louder while he punched the man’s face.

_“I’m gonna marry you someday, you know that right?” the Asset asked to the same blonde as before, just that now he looked like his mission, with the same uniform and a shy smile on his lips._

“You’re my mission."

_The blonde man was on his uniform, laughing, his eyes closed and his hands on his stomach. The other men at his sides were laughing as well, and the Asset looked from afar. He loved to see him happy. _

_The blonde man was under the Asset’s body. They were in a tent, it was war and they were naked, kissing under the covers and under the poor light they had. “I thought I lost you,” the blonde said. The Asset shook his head and caressed the blonde’s cheeks with his thumbs, “it’s going to take more than war to separate us, I promise.”_

_“_Then finish it…”

_“Please stick to the plan,” the Asset begged to the blonde man, that was wearing his usual uniform with the star on his chest, “punk, promise me you’ll stick to the plan or I’m not going.” The ultimatum made the blonde man nod, “I’m sticking to the plan, jerk, don’t worry.” The Asset sighed and after looking around to make sure no one was looking, he took the blonde man’s face on his hands and kissed him, “please, please don’t let this mission be our last.” The blonde man shook his head, “it won’t be, you have my word, Buck.” Then they kissed again and when someone called them at the distance, they broke the contact. Buck rubbed a finger on the blonde man’s neck, where his biting mark was healing fast, “I love you, Steve.” The other man smiled, “I love you, too, Buck…” Another annoying voice called them and before letting go of the blonde man, the Asset kissed his forehead, “I’m with you till the end of the line, my love.” _

The man in the uniform was struggling to talk, his face was a few different shades of red, pink and purple, and while _Buck _kept his metal hand in the air, he spoke again.

_“‘_Cause I’m with you till the end of the line.”

The soldier looked with horror at the man he had been punching to death.

He knew him.

_“Buck, c’ mon! I don’t wanna ride the Cyclone!”_

He had known him his whole life.

_“How was your day, Buck?”_

He knew him.

_“Stevie, take my jacket, it’s getting cold outside!” _

He had spent half of his life protecting him.

_“I had him on the ropes… but thanks.”_

And now he was the one hurting him.

_“Bucky! Hang on! Grab my hand!”_

God, he had punched him, shot him, stabbed him. Oh no…

The blonde man, _Steve_, was waiting for his final punch, but it never came. A part of the Helicarrier’s structure fell and it took him with it, leaving the Asset, the Winter Soldier, _Bucky_, to stare at his lover falling, just like Steve had to do a long time ago.

The voice inside his head had officially taken over, and it made him jump to rescue the blonde man, to take him out the water and drag him to the shore with his metal arm, putting in good use for once. He stood next to _Stevie_ until he breathed. He had the urge to kneel at his side and kiss his forehead, but he didn’t. Then, afraid that the voice in his head was going to disappear and he was going to hurt him again, _Bucky_ observed him for a minute to engrave his face on his memory and left.

Steve woke up in a hospital bed. He looked around slowly, readjusting his eyes to the warm light and saw Sam reading a magazine, and just to annoy him, he said: “On your left.”

His friend smiled and shook his head. “Already a pain in the ass, Rogers.”

That night when Sam went home thanks to Steve insisting on it, Nat brought his phone, and what it felt like the first time in forever, he could video-call his baby. Ari was happy to see him and asked, at least every two minutes, when was Steve joining their vacation. Steve had to lie and say that soon, but the reality was that Fury wasn’t going to allow him to go for another week. They all needed to figure out what they were going to do now that SHIELD had disappeared and with the possibility of Hydra still having active bases around the world.

What seemed like the right thing to do was to hand over the information to the World’s Mightiest Heroes, and once they confirmed they were joining the fight against what was left of Hydra, Steve knew he was moving back to NYC, to his apartment, the place he and Ari should’ve never left.

In the matter regarding Bucky, Nat had called a few favors in Europe to find a file that had all the information Steve had needed to make up his mind. She warned him but he didn’t listen, his mate was alive, he was alone in a new century that Steve was sure he wasn’t going to find easy to adapt to and with memory loss, and he prayed that he find him on time, before Bucky tried to do what he had attempted to do in the past.

Sam was part of the team now, he was the one staying when Nat told him she was leaving for a while, and the one that wasn’t so convinced on going after Bucky. Stark had offered him a room in the tower seeing he was Steve’s new friend, and he knew he had to do something before moving back, especially if Sam was going to be there.

Sam and Steve boarded a Quinjet a week later he was dismissed from the hospital and just a couple of days previous to the moving. Sam thought it was kinda sketchy that he had refused any help he had offered to pack the things in his apartment, but he let him be. Now he didn’t know where they were going or for what, but he was certain it didn’t have anything to do with Bucky.

Steve set the coordinates and told Sam it was going to be a five hour trip to their unknown destination, which turned out to be not so unknown when Jarvis let them know they were 10 minutes away from landing in New Zealand.

“New Zealand?! In 5 hours?!” Sam exclaimed as Steve landed the Quinjet in a patch of green in the middle of freaking nowhere.

“It’s a Quinjet made by Tony, not a trip you do with a regular airline, Sam,” Steve told him with a chuckle.

“Perks of being an Avenger, huh?”

“Yep,” was all he said with a smile, Steve was like a kid with a new toy, what was happening?

“So… what’s this about? Why are we here?” Sam asked when they got off the Quinjet, there was a beautiful modern house that looked something you rented for a weekend away.

“You’ll see,” Steve said starting to walk.

From the place they had landed, they walked straight to the backyard of the house, where there was a nice pool with fencing around it, a few loungers… oh, toys were scattered around there, too. The doors that apparently connected the kitchen with the backyard were made of glass and were opened, it was probably lunchtime because there was a lady cooking something… holy shit, Steve had a secret family?

Hidden behind one of the loungers was a kid that had watched the jet land and refused to move from his hiding place. However, his humor changed as the two figures became clearer, if he wasn’t mistaken, the big and blonde man leading the way, was his mama. Ari stood up and his eyes squinted to try to see better, Clara that noticed he wasn’t sitting anymore came up to him.

“Oh, looks like he’s here!” she said excitedly.

“Mama?” Ari asked hopefully, Clara laughed and nodded, he gasped not believing it, he had been asking the same question for days and the answer had never been positive.

“Bubba? Is that you?”

That was the irreplaceable voice of his mother getting closer, Ari’s eyes opened more than normal, and in a second he was in a race with himself to get to him, while exclaiming, “Mama! mama! mama!” over and over.

Steve scooped him in his arms with a shaky laugh mixed with a sigh and a sob, he literally felt his knees giving in and he treasured the moment. One of his hands was on Ari’s back and the other on his soft baby hair and clutched him to his body like there was no tomorrow.

“Hi, Bubba, hi… how have you been?” he asked him without letting go.

“I missed you!” he said with his face buried on Steve’s neck. “Too long, mama!”

“I know baby, I’m so sorry I took me longer to come here, I’m sorry,” Steve whispered kissing his face, “did you have a nice time with Clara?”

“Yes, she let me help cooking!”

“She lets you help?” he asked smiling at him and watching his little face up close when he took it out its hiding place, he was happy to see his innocent blue eyes again, they were his cable to Earth. “That is good, she kept you busy, huh?” Ari nodded returning his head to his mama’s shoulder and they stayed there in their bubble, ignoring the questioning look on Sam’s face and the awaiting figure of Clara in the kitchen doors.

Then Ari suddenly gasped and looked behind Steve. “Auntie Nat?”

“Uh no, just me, kiddo, sorry,” said Sam and that made Steve realize he was still there.

“Oh, sorry Sam, I haven’t seen him since the craziness started and…” he tried to explain while standing up, Sam was smiling and shaking his head.

“Don’t worry, I kinda put the pieces together… secret family, huh?”

“Remember when you told Fury you were a better soldier than a spy?” he asked him with his eyebrows lifted, Sam nodded, “well, it’s showing, you’re a terrible spy, buddy.”

“I hate you, I don’t even know why I said yes to this,” Steve laughed and they started to walk towards the house again.

“Hi, Clara!” Steve greeted cheerily, she opened her arms and they hugged for a second.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you! I was following everything on the news and was so worried!” she said in the middle of the hug.

“You told me to make sure to come back, and I did,” he smiled at her and then turned to Sam. “Sam, this is Clara, Clara, he’s my friend Sam, we met in D.C., remember I told you about him?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, the running man!” she remembered laughing and extending her hand at him, Sam took it smiling.

“Sam Wilson, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, I’m glad to meet another of Steve’s friends.”

“Sam?” whispered Ari on Steve’s ear as Clara and Sam made small talk, he nodded. “Oh, also, Sam,” he said calling his attention when they stopped talking about the weather, “this is Harika, my son, we call him Ari for short… and Bubba, this is my new friend, Sam.”

“Nice to meet you, Ari,” the kid in Steve’s arms waved shyly at him making him smile.

“He’s shy with strangers, give him a couple of hours and he’ll warm up to you,” Steve assured him kissing the baby’s forehead.

“You guys came just for lunch, wanna join us?” Clara asked them walking inside, where the amazing smell of homemade food invaded the place.

“My God thought you’d never ask!” Sam said following them, smelling the air and soon joining Clara behind the isle.

“Oh, Bubba, I missed you so much,” Steve told Ari while kissing him repeatedly and refusing to contain the whine he let out as he did it, the pup laughed and squirmed in his chest.

“Mama you stay?”

“Yes, baby, we’ll be staying for a few days and then… guess what?” Ari looked at him expectantly, “we’re moving back to the tower with uncle Tony!”

“Yes! Uncle Tony, Uncle Tony!” he yelled catching Clara’s and Sam’s attention.

“What did uncle Tony do?” Clara asked with a spatula in her hand.

“Nothing, I was telling Ari we’re moving back to the tower, looks like he misses Tony, please nobody tell him that to him, he’s going to gift him things with his face on it if we do.”

Sam laughed loudly and Clara snorted before laughing, she was completely aware that Tony was capable of doing it, so yeah, they better keep their mouths shut.

It was exactly midday in New Zealand and Clara had been cooking when they arrived. She was making cheesy rice with spicy chicken and baked veggies that the smell made Steve and Sam salivate more than normal. They brought their duffle bags to the house before eating, Steve took the room next to the one Ari had been sleeping in and Sam took the one across it.

During lunch Sam couldn’t help to look at Ari, he hadn’t taken after Steve to be his son, but he didn’t look like Clara either and he called her by her name. Confused was the perfect word to use to describe his feelings, but Steve hadn’t said anything and he didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable by asking.

The guys cleaned the kitchen and everyone went to their rooms for a power nap for the rest of the day, the weather was incredible and after the whole Hydra and Bucky thing, Steve loved the idea of swimming and maybe bronzing a little with his friends and his pup.

While Steve admired Ari sleeping on his chest in the comfortable silence and darkness of his room, he was aware that the bond was active, he had been unconsciously transmitting his happy Omega vibes to Bucky thanks to the reunion with Ari. In exchange, Bucky had sent back something that felt like uncertainty and not something he had done willingly. Steve understood but still wished he hadn’t left when he saved him, he wished he could help him, he didn’t have to be alone.

By the time the sun was setting, Ari had swum with Steve, Sam had joined and played with them, then Clara joined and they all spent the afternoon under the sun, covered in sunscreen and going in and out of the pool. Ari had slowly built his trust for Sam enough to talk to him and to ask him to play with his toys, and Sam was happy to comply, he always got on well with kids and he definitely had achieved that with him.

As Clara had been all by herself with Ari for the past days, Steve wanted to cook that night and Sam jumped in for the task as well. Ari watched Finding Nemo in the living room and Clara read a book on the sofa when they finally settled on a simple dish, salad with steaks and some leftover rice from lunch. Steve was cutting the lettuce the moment he noticed that Sam, that was controlling the cooking time of the steaks in the oven, was too quiet, almost like he was scrambling his brain searching for something to say, or maybe for a way of saying it correctly.

“Ask away,” Steve told him, “we’re friends, you can do it, c’ mon.”

“It’s… I’m so confused man,” he said forgetting the meat and crossing his arms. “I don’t get it and I get it at the same time but in reality, I never finished getting it.”

Steve laughed softly, “sounds confusing, yeah.”

“So… is Ari truly your son?”

“Yes, I’m an Omega, I carried him,” he confessed, Sam nodded.

“Mhm, that’s why he calls you ‘mama’, I get that now…” he murmured to himself. “And what about Clara, is she your Alpha… was it a nightstand, how does she fit in the picture?”

“Nope, she’s Ari’s full-time nanny, we were not romantically involved and doubt we will ever be, considering we are both attracted to people of our own gender,” Steve commented and resumed the lettuce cutting, Sam was still, thinking.

“Do you mind if I ask… who’s Ari’s dad?” he asked cautiously. 

“Would you believe me if I told you?”

“Try me, man,” he said chucking, Steve left the knife and poured the cut lettuce to the bowl.

“It’s Bucky.”

“Excuse me?” Sam asked in a high tone, his eyes opened at the size of plates. “How… I mean… but you… and him…” he moved his hands in the hair as if trying to find the words by doing that, “what?!”

“I was pregnant when I went into the ice, the pup slept with me the whole time until they found me… and I woke up, and he woke up, too.”

“Holy fuck…”

“I laid low after the defrosting thing because I had health issues andwas pregnant with him, so, yeah, no missions for me…” said Steve with a sigh, “he was living in D.C. with me, that’s why I didn’t want you to help me pack our things to send them to New York.”

“Oh…”

“Fury sent him to this safe house right on time before the Winter… before Bucky appeared in our apartment and shot him, he’s been here with Clara since.”

“You know? Now I understand better why you want to go after him.”

“Well, it’s not just because he’s the father of my kid, Sam... Bucky and I were mates… I cannot live knowing he’s out there alone when he could be, you know, recovering with the help he needs.”

“Bucky was your Alpha?” Sam questioned astonished.

“Yeah… since we were teenagers,” he answered with a little smile, “although, we didn’t bond until the war when my body was strong enough to accept the intensity of the bonding bite.”

“Well, I would’ve owned Riley,” Steve’s eyebrows rose to his hairline and his eyes deviated to Sam. “Remember Riley, the friend I lost?” he nodded, “he always had this crazy theory that you and Bucky were mates in secret, because ’_Sam, you don’t go to war to save a buddy! C’mon! Oh, and did I tell you they lived together in a small apartment? I read they only had one bed, one bed, Sam!’” _they both laughed at what seemed to be an impression of Riley's excited voice. “But ok, speaking of Bucky again… I’m not gonna lie, even if he’s Ari’s dad, he did try to kill me two or three times in less than two days and I kinda resent him for that… but if what we know so far about the brainwashing and all, it’s true, then let’s go find him, man. I’m on your team.”

“Thanks, Sam… I really appreciate it, I’m sure that Ari is going to, too, I mean, in the future when he finds out of all this situation.”

“I already believe we’re going to be friends forever, so I’ve got time for him to grow and thank me later,” he joked smiling. “So… the army made you hide it, the Omega thing?”

“Yes, they didn’t want the symbol of their Nation to be an Omega, so I played Alpha and Bucky played the side-kick for the cameras and the army.”

“But you were busy creating Ari behind their backs, huh?” Steve’s face turned red like the tomato he had just taken to slice and his first instinct was to throw it at Sam. “Hey!” he exclaimed putting his hands up in the air and catching the fruit while laughing for the sudden move, “wait, maybe I deserved it, sorry man.”

“Hey, you two!” Clara said, Sam looked at her direction, “you better not overcook my steak, I don’t hear a lot of cooking going on!”

“Of course not, your Highness, everything’s under control!” Sam exclaimed with a charming smile that turned to a panicked expression when he turned around.

“You completely forgot the steaks were in the oven, weren’t you?” Steve asked and laughed as his friend hurriedly searched the kitchen for the oven gloves.

“Shhh, shhh! She’s gonna kill me!”

Back in D.C., the Asset had found his way to the Captain America exhibition in the Smithsonian. He had learned that that was the 'name' of the blonde man on the bridge and the Helicarrier, and a quick read in a public library later, he was on his way to the museum.

He could feel the memories flowing on his mind as he walked the exhibition. He had definitely been part of _Steve’s_ life, but not only that, because when he thought he couldn’t be more overwhelmed, he found a memorial, _his own memorial_.

There he realized he had a lot to learn, not just about _Steve_, but about _himself,_ because he had been James Buchanan Barnes, and now the Asset wanted to know which parts of _Bucky _were remaining on him.

He was going to need time, of course, and when he felt ready for it, he was going to look for _Stevie_, he couldn’t leave him alone… right? It felt wrong and _Bucky_ had promised to stay till the end of the line, and the little piece of him left in the Asset’s head, was decided to live up to it.


	2. I can't fear death no longer, I've died a thousand times

The moving back to NYC was a success. Sam lived in Steve’s apartment for a week while his own was being furnished, because the possibility of him joining the Avengers was on the table, and well, they all lived in the tower. Nat was coming and going from God knows where, but she still tried to be there for Ari, for his second birthday and more milestones on his life. Luckily, she was there for the mission that ended up in disaster happened. Ok, wait. It had gone fine, it’s just that they got to take Loki’s scepter to the tower and that’s where the disaster happened.

Steve had been furious with Tony when he created Ultron a few floors down where Ari had been eating dinner and a few meters away from a party full of innocent people. Consequently, he sent Ari and Clara to a safe house and concentrated on cleaning Tony’s mess. The annoyance hadn’t gone down because they defeated Ultron or moved Upstate to their own Compound, it went just a little bit down because they gained four new members to the team: Vision, Wanda, Rhodey and now officially, Sam. Also, Nat was back with them again and Ari couldn't be happier to live with his auntie, his uncles and Wanda, and Vision, that eventually earned the uncle and aunt title. For the rest of the anger, Steve had a private conversation with Tony, in which he yelled a lot and in which, surprisingly enough, Tony kept himself quiet and then promised not to do any more experiments where they lived.

The team trained hard to get ready for missions, especially Wanda, she was still learning to control and use her powers, and all of them, in general, to learn how to work together and maximize their gifts, powers, suits or previous training.

In secret, Steve and Sam followed clues to get to Bucky with no luck. Every time they thought they had a good and strong track, it was always too late, he wasn’t there anymore. It also didn’t help that Bucky never used the bond, not even by accident, he was untraceable, impossible to find, impossible to contact, arrange a discreet meeting, anything.

Sam had lent him his shoulder to cry every time they were millimeters away from encounter him, every time Steve saw that Bucky had been in the place they just arrived and wasn’t there anymore. Any of his Avengers friends noticed the small portion of sadness on his eyes every time Ari grew a new tooth, or learned a new word, or perfected a behavior, it hurt Steve that his pup’s father wasn’t there to celebrate with them. It hurt even more in the eyes of Sam and Nat, knowing he was searching for Bucky and failing made the experience of seeing Ari grow a lot painful.

It definitely was of no help that Steve couldn’t trust any of his therapists with the search, it was completely private due to Bucky’s status of an international fugitive, at least on the countries that were members of the United Nations. Steve prayed that if he couldn’t find him, nobody else could, because he was sure Bucky didn’t know what the UN was, or what the International Criminal Court of Justice was, but he trusted that along the way he informed himself to help on his running situation and pick good places to lay low.

Ari turned 3 years old surrounded by his family’s love. In the middle of the day, he got his hands on the leftover cake’s buttercream that he had helped Wanda to make the day prior and that Bruce had forgotten to put back on the fridge after taking out a bottle of water. Steve had to make him take a short bath because he put it all over his face, arms and hair, and they had to stop him from putting his hands on the cake to avoid the same destiny to the poor buttercream and his freshly cleaned body.

At night, wrapped in a green blanket and in the swings of the backyard, Ari laughed in his mama’s arms while clutching Teddy to his chest. He was telling him a story of his childhood, of how one day his ma had poured a plate of puree on his hair for fun, like Ari had done with the buttercream, and Sarah, his grandma had looked at him in shock while baby Steve laughed and messed it up even more, spreading it as it was shampoo and not food. The story had Ari laughing like crazy, making Steve’s heart explode with love for his baby. 

“Mama?” he asked suddenly, Steve mhm’d, “where’s my dad?”

_Oh_. Ok.

Ok.

Steve had not been ready for that question. He had asked about his grandparents the week before, that’s why Steve had been entertaining him with anecdotes of Sarah and had to explain that he never got to meet his dad. It was about time Ari questioned about his father, and for the first time, Steve didn’t know what to say.

Ari maybe didn’t encounter a lot kids his age now that he lived in the compound with his super-family, but he watched a lot of movies where the pups had a mom and a dad, and lately, he had taken notice that he only had his mama and a bunch of uncles and aunts. His mama let him had a picture of his dad, so he technically knew him, but he had never been there for his birthdays or take care of him like his ma had been.

“Is he in heaven with grandma and grandpa?” he asked again.

“Hmm… no, he’s not in heaven…” Steve said sighing, “he’s… alive, somewhere.”

“Can we go and get him?”

“I wish we could… but he’s… hmmm…” his brain was truly working hard to find the right thing to say —and failing—.

“Is he coming? Some day?” he asked again, his mesmerizing blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight, observing at his mama with a hopeful look.

“Yes, he’s coming home eventually…”

“Does he know me?”

“No, baby… I haven’t talked to him in a long time,” he admitted moving his hand to Ari’s hair and remove the strands that had fallen to his forehead.

“When I met him,” Ari started to say, “I’m gonna introduce myself to him.”

“Are you?” Steve asked with a smile.

“Yes, do I have a second name, mama? I’m gonna tell him my entire name!”

“Yes, you do, you’re Harika Azura, remember I told you before?”

“It’s a weird name, maaaaa,” he whined and threw himself backward to Steve’s chest.

“It’s beautiful!” he said back and kissing his temple, “Harika means ‘miracle’, did you know that?”

“No!” Ari answered sounding interested, “why miracle?”

“Because you are my miracle, baby…”

“Why?” he asked again, he was on the age of the million questions a day, Steve didn’t blame him.

“It’s complicated to explain… sometimes people can’t have babies, their bodies are not ready for that, and a doctor told mama that I couldn’t have any,” he said, “but then, another doctor told me you were growing inside me… and all I couldn’t stop thinking you were my little miracle,” he beeped his nose and Ari giggled. Despite the things that had happened, Steve always believed that his pup was nothing but a miracle, he was never supposed to become a mother according to the doctors and Erskine himself, but there it was Ari, proving everyone wrong. Maybe Erskine was smiling down at him right now, he had seen the pain in Steve’s eyes when he told him that the serum wasn’t going to help with his barrenness, and against all odds, he had a healthy and beautiful son.

“And Azura?”

“Azura means ‘bright sky blue’, and I was hoping you’ll have your dad’s blue eyes, and even if you didn’t you were going to have my blue eyes, I thought it was fitting.”

“I have dad’s eyes?”

“Yes, you do…”

“And dad’s hair?”

“That too, you look a lot like him, you’re so pretty,” he attacked him with loud kisses, Ari squirmed and screamed, his laughter filling the air and Steve’s heart.

Inside the Compound, Nat and Sam were watching the scene with little smiles, both of them with their arms crossed in front of the window of the common living room.

“What’s going to happen when we get to him?” Sam asked.

“I don’t think Steve has a plan, but I don’t think he’s going to drop the bomb on him right away. I mean, I wouldn’t let him either, he’s the father but he’s not stable, he will never be around my nephew on that state.”

Steve stood up with Ari wrapped in the blanket, the one he had gotten him while being pregnant and started to walk back to the inside.

“Do you think he’ll let us find him soon?” Sam asked again.

“No… he’s going to keep on playing cat and mouse for a while, he doesn’t want to be found, for now, I hope Steve understood that so he wouldn’t be so disappointed every time he doesn’t find him…”

“It’s understandable, though…”

“Yeah, it is… but it stills breaks my heart…”

“Auntie Nat! Read me a bedtime story, please?” Ari said as soon as he saw her, a big but tired smile on his small face.

“Of course, cute thing, let’s go!” she smiled at him and brushed Sam’s shoulder as a goodbye to follow Steve to his floor and Ari’s room.

Sam sighed and walked to his apartment, he had a new file on Bucky’s possible new hiding place and he wanted to check it out before giving Steve false hopes… again.

The Holiday season came and went fast, Pepper and Tony celebrated with the team that year, they had a gigantic tree on the common living room that Ari loved, and another one smaller in their apartment that Ari also loved, he liked the sparkly lights.

With winter on full speed and with the snowing making its first appearance, Ari used the shield like a sliding board, and being some of the Avenger’s first time of seeing it used that way, they asked Steve if they could use it too. In conclusion, by the end of the season, everyone had a picture while riding the shield on the snow, even Vision.

Then, Steve described the course of the time in disasters.

Disaster number 1, was Lagos. Wanda made a mistake that cost them their freedom, or well, the freedom of the ones that were willing to sign the called Sokovia Accords. Steve was furious with Tony, Vision, and Rhodey for trying to make the rest of the team to sign the document, and things didn't get better for him. Peggy died in the middle of the discussion, so he left Ari in the Compound with Clara to travel to London with Sam.

Disaster number 2, was the bombarding at the United Nations Headquarters in Vienna during the session the Accords were going to be discussed and signed.

Disaster number 3, was the framing that someone had planned on Bucky, to make him the fake responsible for the bombing in Vienna.

After this one, Steve sent Clara and Ari to a safe house, not in New Zealand or the one they had used for the Ultron disaster, a new one. He could tell a storm was coming and he wasn’t going to risk to put his baby in danger.

Disaster number 4, finding Bucky in Bucharest, things not going smoothly, and getting arrested. At the moment he was put in custody, Steve felt relaxed with the fact that he had sent Ari far away from Upstate New York on time.

Disaster number 5, thinking about signing the Accords to protect Bucky from being sent to a Wakandan prison and being able to help him in the US. However, the last straw with Tony was Steve finding out that he had confined Wanda to the Compound and Tony calling her a weapon of mass destruction.

Quickly following the previous disaster, disaster number 6 was Bucky being triggered back to Winter Soldier mode and trying to escape in a helicopter.

When Steve managed to get the unconscious Bucky from the water, he and Sam took him to an abandoned factory and secured the metal arm to make sure he wasn’t going to try another escape, and to make sure they were safe in case he was still the Soldier and not Bucky. Steve wanted to take Bucky and take him to a safe house, protect him at all costs, hug him, let him know he wasn’t alone, that he didn’t have to run anymore, that he could help him recover and leave the Winter Soldier behind. But unfortunately, the disasters didn’t end there.

Disaster number 7, was the Airport Fight. He and Bucky got to fly to Siberia thanks to Nat’s help. They didn’t talk much on the flight, Bucky was silent and thoughtful, he felt guilt and regret, he felt bad for having been used once again after spending two years free of Hydra’s control. He just wanted to stop the psychopath that had used him, stop the other soldiers and protect Steve on the process.

The Asset had left his body and mind with time, and also with time, _Bucky_ remembered few things of his life that he wrote down on his notebooks. Some of them were of his family, and the rest, the majority of them, were of Steve, his Omega, his mate.

He remembered sitting next to Steve in school. He remembered punching idiots that dared to bully his love. He remembered cold nights and a tiny Steve wrapped around his body, shivering. He remembered short Steve dancing with him in the kitchen because he was too shy to do it in front of people. He remembered Steve wrapping him in his arms in the war, on their tent at night. He remembered his soft lips on him, his body underneath his, the muffled sounds he made when they made love.

Bucky had no doubt that Steve still loved him, even as a friend, for all the things he had made for him lately, and he felt guilty for it, too. He wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love, he was an assassin, he had blood on his hands he was never going to be able to wipe clean, he was a mess.

Steve landed the Quinjet in Siberia and told him to pick a gun from the arsenal, he was going to need it if they were going to confront the soldiers.

They were about to exit the plane when Steve dropped his all Captain's voice and spoke to him as he remembered him, like _Stevie._

“You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?”

Warmth spread through Bucky’s chest. He didn’t know how much his body had ached for that interaction until that moment, and he smiled a little, looking at Steve. “Was that the time we used our train money to buy hotdogs?”

Steve could cry at the smile on Bucky’s face when he said that, that was the Bucky he remembered. “You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for…”

“For you,” Bucky finished, Steve nodded and put his hand on his shoulder, to then move it to his cheek. Bucky slowly leaned to the touch, leaving a shaky sight out of his mouth.

“We’re gonna solve it, all of this,” he promised in a whisper.

“_Please don’t let this mission be our last,”_ he said, Steve caressed his cheek with his thumb.

“It won’t be.”

“And don’t do anything stupid? Please?”

Steve chuckled. “I would answer that you’re taking all the stupid with you… but we’re in this together, so…”

Bucky was looking at him with glossy eyes, lips slightly parted, and all of a sudden, he just hugged him. “You’re a punk.”

Steve stood in his arms for a solid 5 seconds before wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck, returning the contact and closing his eyes at the familiar scent of his mate. He hadn’t felt him that close in calm since the war, but he hadn’t forgotten what it felt like to be held by Bucky, how his body reacted to it by immediately turning him into a poodle. Now more than ever Steve wished he could ignore what was happening around them, get in the Quinjet, and consequences be damned, fly to the safe house with him. But Steve thought in Ari, too. He had promised to conserve the Captain America mantle to make the world safer for his son, he couldn’t run away from a fight if that meant that there were going to be 5 master assassins on the loose, threatening not just Ari, but the world.

Steve wanted to say _I love you, please tell me you love me too, please let me take care of you, please let me help you, please let me take you with me, let’s get you to meet our son, let’s raise him together, please let’s make things work, I love you so much, I never stopped doing it. _Knowing that those words weren’t what Bucky needed, he took a deep breath, buried his face deeper in Bucky’s neck and whispered, “jerk…”

Bucky snorted lightly and hugged him tighter. And contrary to what Steve was thinking, Bucky felt the urge to cry. He had his suspicion before, and the closeness was enough for him to confirm it. Steve smelled like somebody else. It was sweet, and the kind of smell that stuck with you when you were really close to someone, when you had shared a lot of time with that someone, when you had slept with that someone through a lot of nights.

Bucky remembered feeling the bond pulse with nothing but love, and he wondered what Steve was doing if he was doing it on purpose to make him return the gesture. But at that moment it was clear to him that that wasn’t for him, it was because Steve was loving someone else.

He couldn’t blame him, Steve had the right to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him, even if it meant they would’ve to break the bond. 

Life could’ve gone by and spite what Bucky was thinking, they weren’t separating, until he had to force himself to do it, and without sharing anything else than a look, Steve and Bucky took their guns and finally left the Quinjet to enter the Hydra base.

What seemed like disaster number 8, was actually not. Tony appeared to help, to help them defeat the soldiers and Zemo.

Bucky was shivering as they entered the room where Stark was getting heat signatures at. He saw the chair in the middle and he had to look somewhere else, he was glad that Zemo had killed the soldiers, he wasn’t at his 100% to fight, that place was just too much for him and then… dammit.

Disaster number 8 happened, and it was even worse than the rest. Tony, Howard’s son and Steve’s friend, watched how Bucky killed his parents. Bucky was sure he was a dead man, he was a super-soldier, but Tony had a super-suit with thousands of gadgets to get him killed. He wasn’t sure why he was trying to protect himself if he knew there was no chance, but the moment Tony landed a finger on Steve, Bucky wasn’t going to stand there and watch, so he fought.

Bucky lost consciousness for a couple of minutes after Tony kicked his head when he tried to grab his leg to not let him shoot Steve. And Bucky may never find out, but Steve lost it in that same second. He lost it because his Alpha was hurt and still trying to help him, and Tony didn’t give a fuck. Tony had his reasons to want to kill him, but so did Steve to save him.

He thought he was useless now, his metal arm had been blown off, he was exhausted and aching all over, he couldn’t help Steve, Tony was going to kill Steve and then kill him, it was the end. It was the end of the line.

Bucky opened his eyes a couple of minutes later or maybe seconds later, but with his head pounding he wasn’t sure of how much time he had spent laying on the frozen ground. Steve’s face was fucked up but he was alive, alive and helping him get on his feet to take them out of that nightmare, shield in hand.

“That shield doesn’t belong to you,” Howard’s son said, Steve, panting beside him stopped walking, “you don’t deserve it… my father made that shield!” he yelled as it asking for it.

Even though he felt like dying, Bucky saw how Steve dropped the shield without looking back, without hesitation, and helped him walk again.

“The… shield,” he told him in a second of clarity, “Steve, your shield…”

“It doesn’t matter, Buck,” Steve said, “it doesn’t matter… c’ mon, let’s get you somewhere safe.”

Next time Bucky woke up, he wasn’t in Steve’s Quinjet, as he called it, he was strapped to a seat in another one that looked even more modern. The man in the black suit from before was in the pilot’s seat and Steve was next to him.

“Steve?” he asked, his head was still pounding and his throat was dry, it was night time and everything was dark except for the buttons of the… whatever that aircraft was.

Steve turned around and walked to him, “hey… we’re arriving, need anything?”

“Arriving? Where?”

“Prince T’Challa stopped Zemo from killing himself and let him in the Quinjet for Tony to take him to the authorities,” he explained, “he knows you weren’t responsible for his father’s death and he’s taking us to Wakanda… he wants to help you.”

Bucky sighed again and let his head fall back, “I’m not worthy of all this…”

“You are,” Steve said right back, his hand found his way to his cheek once again, “you’re so worth it, Buck…”

“You lost your shield, you dropped it…” he recalled closing his eyes.

“Don’t think about it… I can get another one,” Steve joked.

“Captain, 2 minutes till landing,” said the man in the black suit.

“Thanks, your Highness,” he said back, he took his hand off Bucky’s face and sat next to him for landing.

Wakanda was all jungle for what Steve saw when they passed the protected borders. T’Challa landed outside a place with loud music coming from the inside, and that stopped as he talked to his wrist. A young girl appeared from the building, complaining to her brother that her lab landing pad wasn’t for his personal jet, but shutting up at the sight of Steve standing next to him and Bucky with his arm around Steve, that was helping him to walk.

“Captain, this is my sister, Princess Shuri, she may be able to help your friend.”

The young girl nodded at him and smiled a little, “nice to meet you, Captain.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Princess… and I’m sorry for the hour.”

“Don’t worry, Captain, my sister enjoys working until late,” T’Challa said leading the way and wrapping an arm around Bucky to also help him advance.

“I’m going to prepare the table for him, he must be in pain,” Shuri said touching the tablet on her hands, Bucky’s answer was a low grunt.

The building was a lab, and Steve had thought that Stark’s one was amazing… but this… this was on another level. His eyes were wandering all over, but Princess Shuri interrupted by telling him and T’Challa to lay Bucky down. The table looked normal, and once they placed Bucky in it, it activated with elegance, deploying options, charts, and screens that the Princess used while talking to her brother.

Steve felt the tiredness of the fights taking over, he was relieved to know that Bucky was going to be helped, he wanted to know the first step to it before looking for his friends. Bucky, on the other hand, was terrified, his eyes were everywhere, searching for restraints, for a mouthguard, for weird-looking artifacts that were going to blend his brain, for a red book with a black star on it.

“Steve?”

“Captain? Can I have your permission to put him to sleep?” the Princess asked.

“I’m right here!” Bucky protested trying to sit, only to be stopped by the dizziness on his head, Steve helped him to lay back.

“And you’re in this state, that’s why I asked the Captain,” she looked at him and he nodded. “I just need him asleep because his cardiac rate is off the charts, besides, that metal limb seemed to be connected to his body in more than one way, he must be in terrible pain.”

“Stevie…”

“Don’t worry, Buck… she’s going to help you,” he took his hand and caressed it. “We’ll talk later, get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Don’t let them wake _him_, please…” he begged while Shuri injected him with something that made him instantly sleepy.

“They won’t…” Steve promised, “you’re safe, Buck, you’re safe.”

The next time that Bucky opened his eyes, he was in a very luxurious bed, the cover was up to his shoulders, he could feel that his face and arm didn’t hurt like they had when he had fallen asleep. With his fingers, he could reach his face and feel that he no longer had blood under his nose or other places where Howard’s son had hit him.

There was a large window with the curtains closed, a door that he suspected it was to enter and exit, one that looked like a closet and another one that was closed but with the lights on from the other side. Bucky tensed immediately and managed to get his back to the backrest of the bed, his eyes never leaving the last door.

When the light was turned off and the door opened, Bucky was ready to attack with a pillow, but he lowered it because the person walking out the toilet wasn’t a threat, it was Steve.

He wasn’t wearing his uniform anymore, he had jeans and a simple white t-shirt. His face wasn’t bloody either, his wounds were healing like his. His blonde hair wasn’t covered by the helmet, instead, it was clean and combed back.

“Buck, you’re awake!”

He hurried to the bed and not knowing well what to do, he took Bucky’s hand to kiss it.

“Can I have some water?” he asked him, his throat felt like the desert. Steve moved fast to get him a glass from the nightstand and he drank it almost moaning. “Where are we?” he curiously questioned after another glass.

“We are in Wakanda, remember that prince T’Challa brought us?”

“T’Challa…” Bucky whispered, “I didn’t kill his father, Steve, I-I…”

“He knows, he knows…” Steve said to calm him before he panicked, “that’s why you’re here… he’s giving you asylum.”

“To you too?”

“Yeah… and the team once I get him off The Raft…”

“What’s that?”

“It’s an underwater prison, they locked them in there.”

“An underwater prison? You’re not going alone,” he reproached and tried to stand up, “I’ll go help you.”

“No, no, you need to stay here, I’ll go alone, it’s not that complicated,” he said making him sit again.

“But…”

“Buck, you need to rest.”

“Rest my ass, you’re not taking an underwater prison by yourself!” Bucky said remarking the words ‘underwater’ and ‘prison’ with pauses between them, “I’m going.”

“Bucky, you’re staying, you still need to recover, you’re in pain, Princess Shuri hadn’t even checked on your arm carefully and you’re an internationally wanted man, I don’t wanna add ‘helped Captain America to break into a prison’ to your resumé… do you?” Bucky sighed and had to admit he did feel like hell and maybe he wasn’t going to be of much help. “I promise it won’t take more than two hours.”

“You’re a punk,” Bucky said in defeat.

“Jerk,” that made him smile slightly and he tightened his hand on Steve’s.

Bucky saw that the ambient was tense, he was to blame because he wanted to attack Steve with a pillow just a minute earlier, but he wanted to see him smile before leaving to save his friends. “Do me a favor?” he said breaking the silence, Steve looked at him, “leave your friend with the wings in prison, you don’t need him, the rest are fine.”

“Buck!” he laughed softly, “Sam is my friend, you better get used to him.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure… sure…” he mumbled under his breath. He had already met Sam, it wasn’t his scent on Steve what he had smelled in Siberia, so who…?

“You have nothing to worry about, Buck,” Steve said, interpreting his silence as concern, “he’s one of the nicest Alpha’s I have met, that’s why he’s my friend.”

“I hope so, or next time I see him I won’t be so nice,” he warned —not convincingly though— with a small, playful smile on his lips.

“I’ll let him know…” Steve smiled, and this time Bucky, in an act of masochism with himself, he kissed Steve’s hand. It reminded him of all the times he had done that in the past to make him smile. This time though, it made him blush with seven different shades of pink.

“Go save your friends, I’ll be here when you get back… and bring back the bird, I’ll have a conversation with him.”

A day later, Bucky did have a talk with Sam, but instead of trying to kill him like other times, he asked him to take care of Steve. The same thing happened with Natalia, which he knew from Russia a long time ago and now went by the name Natasha.

Besides recovering from the fight, Bucky talked a lot with Princess Shuri —or well, she spoke to him— that insisted on him calling her just Shuri, and not Princess or your Highness. She had amazed him by telling him she was going to find a way to take the trigger words out of his head, and if he allowed her, she was going to design a whole new arm for him. However, the ‘cure’ was going to take time to find, and Bucky was scared of the waiting time. So when she offered him to go back to cryo to make sure he didn’t suffer an accident like Zemo’s, he said yes.

In the room that Steve was assigned for his short stay in Wakanda, the team was assembled, trying to comfort him on the fact that Bucky had dropped the bomb of going back to cryo during breakfast.

“Guys, I’m fine, I already told you!” Steve insisted while walking around, his hand traveling to his hair to smooth it even if it wasn’t a strand out of place.

“You don’t seem ok, man,” Sam said, he was sitting on the bed with Wanda, Nat was sprawled like a starfish behind them, her face buried in the pillows.

“And with all the tests that the Princess has been doing you two barely had a chance to talk properly,” Wanda added, “and for you to tell him about…”

“Nope!” Nat and Steve exclaimed at the unison, scaring Wanda a little.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Steve said stopping his feet and sighing. “I won’t tell him about… Simba.”

“Why?” Wanda asked furrowing her eyebrows, “I thought you and Sam were looking for him for… Simba.”

“How do you know that they were on it?” Nat asked, her voice muffled by the pillows.

“Steve is careful with the files he reads but Sam isn’t,” he looked down, “and I believed it made sense to find him for Simba, he’s his Mufasa, right?”

“Yes,” Steve answered, “but after seeing that the triggering words are still on his head, I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable with him knowing and meeting him… I just can’t put my Simba through that, and I’m sure Mufasa wouldn’t want to either.”

“I think the same,” Nat’s muffled voice spoke.

“So you’re going to wait until he’s… what? cured?” Sam asked with his arms crossed.

“If that’s what it takes to protect Simba, yes,” Steve said walking to the bed and sitting between Wanda and Sam, “I rather waiting than getting Simba all excited about Mufasa and then… you know, not going well…”

Silence filled the room while Wanda wrapped her arms around Steve’s waist and rest her head on his shoulder, “ok… the good thing is that now he’s here, he’s safe and we know that no one is coming for him, so Simba will meet him eventually.”

Steve rested his head on Wanda’s and sighed also wrapping his arms on her, “yeah… let’s see how things go in here, I hope they don’t last long.”

“And talking about here,” Sam said, “are we going to stay here..? Or..?”

“T’Challa said we can be here all we want, but we’re not going to put him into more trouble, we’re all international criminals and he would have enough if they found that Mufasa is here, so…”

“We’re going to be on the run,” he completed, Nat behind them sat on the bed and passed her arms through the sides of Steve’s neck, settling her hands on his chest and resting her chin on his available shoulder.

“Yes, but not on our own, we’re going to use Simba’s safe houses during missions and we’re going to live with him and Nala while we’re not on duty,” she explained turning to Steve, “right?”.

“Yes, that’s right, if that’s ok with all of you, of course.”

“Absolutely, I don’t think any of us could stay far from Simba for too long, we all love him,” Wanda spoke, followed by Sam’s agreement.

“I’m so sorry, guys,” Steve said after a moment of silence. “I’m so sorry this is happening.”

“Don’t be,” said Nat immediately, “you’re our leader, but we decided to follow you into the fight, you didn’t make us do it, it was our choice, Steve.”

“Yeah, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that we rather being here or on the run with you, than being the United Nations pets like they wanted us to be,” commented Sam, the rest nodded.

“Come on, Sam, join the hug,” Wanda told him to lift the spirit, he was the only one not wrapped around Steve like an octopus, Steve and Nat snorted, “come on! It’s a group hug! Get in!”

“Get in, get in, get in, get in, get in,” Nat chanted to encourage him, “get in, get in, get… yes, yes! Besties assembled!” she celebrated as Sam hugged Steve’s middle and he extended his arms to hug them back with a soft laugh.

“_Family_ assembled,” Steve corrected her smiling and earning a kiss on the cheek from her.

Steve video-called Ari and Clara before going to Shuri’s lab. He promised his baby boy that he was going to Switzerland, where the safe house was, in a couple of days with auntie Nat, auntie Wanda, and uncle Sam. Ari had protested and told him he missed him, leaving his mother a little bit more heartbroken than usual.

Steve was the only one of the team in the lab, a cryo chamber was being inspected a last time by the Wakandan doctors, and behind them, sitting in a table, was Bucky. His face wasn’t wounded anymore, he hadn’t got that many punches as Steve had, his own serum helped to close the wounds, but he did have a few scratches here and there.

Bucky was wearing a white tank top and jogger pants, the metal stump was covered and there was an IV on his arm. He looked defeated but in peace with the fact that this time, it was his decision to go back to cryo, and that when he woke up, it was because Shuri was going to remove what Hydra had put in his brain.

Steve walked to him while observing the chamber, it certainly didn’t look like the one in Siberia, it was more humanized and modern. Bucky looked up to him as he got closer, Steve’s face was even more scratched than his, making him feel guilty for not having been able to help him and to avoid what had caused them.

“Are you sure about this?” Steve asked with his hands on his pockets.

Bucky sighed, eyes on the chamber that was going to be his bed for God knows how much time. “I can’t trust my own mind,” he said with a sad smile. “So until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing… for everybody.”

Steve nodded slowly, “I can’t promise I’ll be here when you wake up, but if it’s ok with you, I’ll come back as soon as Shuri texts me that you’re awake.” He said cautiously, he had no idea if Bucky loved him anymore or if he wanted him to be around. Maybe he wasn’t interested in their relationship, their bond anymore. And if Bucky didn’t want him, Steve wasn’t going to push him.

“Yeah, yeah… that sounds good,” Bucky answered, “it’ll be nice to have a familiar face…” Steve nodded again and not knowing what else to say or do, he gave the chamber another glance, “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re still my friend, right?” Bucky asked in a whisper only Steve could hear, he turned around and didn’t see the Winter Soldier or Sergeant James Barnes, he just saw Bucky. The same Bucky with the same scared expression when Steve didn’t heal, when he got so bad that he prayed night and day to not to have to call a priest to do the Last Rites on him, the same scared Bucky after his mom’s death, the same scared Bucky after he was drafted and didn’t want to leave.

Steve felt their bond slightly pulsate with anxiousness and regret of maybe the other side making the question, and he moved forward with his hands still in the pockets of his pants.

“Of course I am,” he said back, “always, Buck.”

Bucky then extended his arm and Steve broke the distance to hug him and feeling Bucky imitating his act. “I’m gonna miss you, buddy.”

“Me too,” he whispered, “so much…”

Suddenly there was a voice calling for Bucky that made them break the contact slowly, Shuri’s specifically, she walked to where they were with her eyes on the tablet on her hands, finding the men detangling from each other. “Oh, I’m so so so sorry, nobody told me you were here Captain Rogers,” she said stopping in the spot. “Sergeant Barnes, do you need some more minutes?”

Bucky sighed once again and let go of Steve, “no, it’s fine, I’m ready.”

Steve saw how a doctor freed Bucky’s arm from the IV, another one preparing the final touches on the chamber and Shuri setting things on her tablet. He stood by Bucky’s side while she explained how this cryo chamber was different to the one Hydra used with him and the rest of the Winter Soldiers and assured him that he was going to be wakened up the minute their scientists and doctors found a way of taking the programing out his head.

As these things developed, Steve thought of Ari in Switzerland, completely ignorant of the fact that his dad wasn’t going home anytime soon but waiting on the low anyway. He thought that he was going to continuing being a single parent raising his son when his dad was standing in front of him… entering a cryogenic chamber to put himself to sleep in order to avoid hurting people. A very small part of Steve was glad though if he was ever going to confess Bucky that he had given birth to their pup, he wanted Bucky to take his rightful role all in. Otherwise, if he decided he wasn’t ready and was all off, it was going to break Steve’s heart and he was going to be more cautious with Ari about his dad. Steve truly believed that spending time under and being healed was something that Bucky needed for, in the future, be all in with Ari. So all he did was to watch how his Alpha stepped into the chamber and gave him a last look. He smiled weakly to let him know it was ok, and when the glass door closed in front of him, Bucky closed his eyes, breathed deep and let the cold take him.

“Captain Rogers,” Shuri said going to stand by his side, “I can’t promise he’s going to stay here for a short amount of time, it’ll take some time for us to find the right procedure for him… but you have my word that we’re going to help him, you’ll have him back.” Steve nodded and hugged her without thinking.

“Thank you, Bucky and I will be forever grateful for yours, your people’s and your King’s help.”

“We’ll glad to be helpful, Captain Rogers.”

“Call me Steve, please.”

Shuri was about to answer, but something on her wrist dinged and she had to apologize to answer it. Steve took that minute to observe the chamber covered in ice from the inside, the love of his life in it, frozen in time. There was a cold feeling inside him because of the bond that he hadn’t felt before thanks to being in ice himself, and thanks to the bond not being strong enough, till now. So just like his mate, the bond was canceled and as frozen as Bucky was, making Steve feel abandoned and lost. 

“Seems like for now I’m needed somewhere else, I’m so sorry Steve,” Shuri said coming back.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go back to my room to talk with my team about our future and just… let Bucky rest,” he said sighing, angsty.

“Remember that I’ll contact you as soon as we get something on him.”

“Thank you, again, I really appreciate it.”

Princess Shuri nodded with a tiny smile on her lips and said goodbye to him, letting two Dora lead Steve back to his room. This time his family wasn’t there, and Steve was able to collapse on the bed and cry on the pillow. Losing Bucky again and for the third time wasn’t something he was ready for, especially not when he had thought he was dead and tried to live with it, and not when he found out he actually wasn’t.

He had spent two years looking for him and wishing he wanted to be found, to help him heal like Steve himself was doing, to analyze his situation in the world, see if there was something the Avengers could do to assist to provide him with the right tools to allow him to be a free man.

He had spent to years looking for him to finally inform him that they had a beautiful son that had already spent too much time without his dad, to see them both together and not feel guilty for not bringing his dada home as Ari wished.

But, yes, life got in the way.

Things went horribly wrong, Bucky decided he was better asleep and there was nothing Steve could do to change it. He had to keep on raising his pup with the help of their family, hoping that one day Bucky could join them in the task. He had to learn to live without him for a couple or more months. Or years. This time though, the wait wasn’t going to be as distressing as the past years. Steve’s heart was convinced that this was destined to be the last wait before their personal happy beginning, the last wait to the life the three of them deserved. And for all that was holy, he hoped he was right.

Ari liked the last vacation house better, it had a pool, it was surrounded by plants and it was always warm outside. He had spent full days laughing and playing around with his nanny, his ma and his uncle Sam, enjoying the weather before moving back to the Tower and then to the Avengers Compound with his family. 

This new house that he and Clara had been living in for the past days, was bigger and he had more room to play, but it didn’t have a pool, and it wasn’t warm either. The property had trees with yellow or no leaves at all, it had a backyard with a playground that he couldn’t use because of the mud that the rain had caused. Clara had told him not to feel bad, that spring was around the corner and that the weather was going to get better eventually. But even if it did, there was something that the lack of rain or cold couldn’t fix: Ari missed his mama.

It had been a week since his ma had left with a sad smile on his face, telling him he was going to try to come back soon, but then Clara had made him get on a plane and start their sudden vacations in the, still cold, Switzerland.

That night Ari had dinner while speaking to Clara and the soft murmur of the tv in the living room playing Lilo & Stitch. He had a bubble bath where he took the chance to play with his hair and the shampoo and got dressed in his pajamas to go to the bed.

He wondered when was his mama joining them while Clara tucked him in bed with his Teddy bear, read him a story and turned on his light. He also missed his room in the compound, it had stars in the ceiling that lighted in the dark and reminded him of the star on his ma’s uniform and shield; and it had all his toys in it. This room was ok, but it didn’t feel like home.

Ari fell asleep with the still soft noise of the tv in Clara’s room, his mouth occupied with his pacifier and his small arms hugging Teddy bear to his chest.

There was a little commotion in the middle of the night that thankfully didn’t disturb his sleep. The team had arrived and each one took a room in silence, talking in whispers and too tired to fight over the best bedroom. The sound of the showers in use filled the air for a few minutes, causing Ari to stir in his sleep. Then, as the house went back to the peaceful night's silence, someone entered his room quietly.

Steve smiled at his sleeping son and did nothing to prevent his legs from walking to the bed, kneeling and using his hand to caress his hair. Ari peeked one eye open after smelling the faint scent of his mother and smiled in dreams for finding the blue of his eyes when doing it. He felt his body abandoning the bed, too and opened his eyes as much as he could to see who was taking him out of it.

“Hi, Bubba,” Steve whispered smiling at him, he had taken him, cradled him in his arms and was walking down the hallway. Ari smiled sleepily and closed his eyes again, feeling safe in his mama’s hold.

Steve opened the bed comforter and placed Ari on his bed, to automatically slip on the bed too and cover their bodies with the cover. He had showered and almost ran to get to his son, he needed to have him close after the days apart and after coming back empty-handed. But he was going to have time to process Bucky’s new absence, to prevent how his newly acquired status —international criminal— was going to affect Ari and the team. For now, just for now, he got comfortable, kissed his son’s head and curled up with him, forgetting about the problems and relaxing to the calming sound of his favorite lullaby, Ari’s heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Galerinha, what do you think is going to happen next? I'm only allowed to warn you and to tell you to get ready for a long chapter next time, I think that it'll be the longest I've ever written 🤯
> 
> Also, thank you for your kudos and comments, I really appreciate them!!! 
> 
> Beijinhos, 
> 
> Fab.


	3. We're gonna try something new today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, galerinha!!!!!! The BIG BIG moment has arrived!!!!!!! I hope you all enjoy it after waiting for it for so long!!!
> 
> Beijinhos, 
> 
> Fab.

** _ August 2017 _ **

_“_I gotta admit,” Sam said while sitting next to Steve in the co-pilot seat a few minutes posterior to taking off, “I’m not a big fan of humid summers, but man, I can’t wait to get back home for some heat and some torrential rains, this cold was horrible!”

“I support him on that,” Nat commented coming from behind, “but there’s no meat like Argentinian meat, I’m gonna miss it.”

“But the cold, my God, I haven’t felt my ass in days!”

Steve put the Quinjet on autopilot laughing, he was going to miss the food, too, and he had no discussion on the weather, his body accommodated very well to them. What he wanted the most after a week-long mission to help the local forces to dismantle a drug cartel, was to get home and hug Ari. This hadn’t been their longest mission, but Ari was sporting a summer flu when they left and well, Steve was a concerned mama.

The team of three sat to chat quietly about the mission and the two-week self-vacation that they wanted to have. Nat definitely wanted to go back to Argentina despite the cold, and Sam was talking about going to a sunny place with beautiful beaches to relax. Steve, on the other hand, wasn’t going anywhere, it was still winter in New Zealand to take Ari there and as himself, his son had a particular liking for warm and humid places.

Wanda, that wasn’t with the team at the moment, had an… arrangement with them. She left every now and then to someplace to lay low and spent time with Vision, and the team was ok with that, as long as she checked in with Nat of her status. The mission in the south of Argentina had been sudden, an ex-contact of Nat was working in there and reached out for their extra help for the job, so they weren’t able to pick Wanda up at her location and decided to let her enjoy some more time with Vision.

Currently, they were staying in Korea. To help keep appearances, Nat had trimmed her hair and dyed it blonde, while Steve left his hair and beard grow, and Sam stuck with wearing Aviators and baseball caps. Their house was in a nice and retired city on the countryside, inhabited mostly by old people, and if they ever encounter some friendly neighbor in the market, under fake names, Steve and Clara were married, Ari was their son and they were vacationing with their best friends that happen to be together, Sam and Nat. Depending on the place, Wanda would play the role of Sam and Nat’s daughter, causing Nat to get a lot of compliments on her body and genes for “looking as young as your daughter!”. Other times Steve was a single parent to Ari, Clara and Nat were together and Sam was a single parent to Wanda. Other times without Wanda, Sam and Steve were together and parents to Ari and the girls were together.

It was the middle of August and the plan was to stay in Korea until September, then move to another safe house for a month and stay there for a few weeks, before running to the next one. They were thinking about accepting Shuri and T’Challa’s offer of spending December in Wakanda, they had been for a short amount of time before and they wanted to see more, and to be honest, it was the safest place to be, too.

The short flight home was made on autopilot mode, Sam landed the Quinjet on their property and drove it to the big barn that they used as a hangar.

Ari was inside the house with Clara watching Tangled and singing along to the songs. The AC was off to prevent him from feeling even worse, but he looked fine to Steve, that crushed him with his arms and kissed his forehead for a quick temperature check.

“Ma, they’re singing my favorite song!” he claimed when Steve didn’t seem to let go.

_“I’ve got a dream!”_ Sam sang watching the tv and immediately starting to sing

_“He’s got a dream!_” Ari, Nat, and Clara sang back.

_“I’ve got a dream!”_

_“He’s got a dream!”_

_“And I know one day romance will reign supreme, though my face leaves people screaming, there’s a child behind it dreaming, like everybody else I’ve got a dream!” _

Steve watched the scene develop with a smile on his face, Ari loved to sing along to Disney movies and thankfully his family was really immature when they wanted to. More than once Steve had walked into an entire musical being played in the living room, Sam was usually standing on the sofas for his solos, and Ari made sure that Wanda and Nat wore crowns. Usually he and Clara were the audiences to the other’s fun and out of tune singing until they eventually learned the lyrics and joined the fun.

He clapped when the song ended and Ari left his lap to jump to Nat, who also kissed his forehead looking for signs of fever but finding none.

The day was super hot and like Ari assured them he felt good, they turned on the AC and decided to swim to finish the day to then cook dinner together.

During the process of cooking, Steve took a moment to watch Ari cut vegetables under Clara’s supervision and sighed. He was close to his 5th birthday, he was getting taller with time and according to the information Steve had read, he was getting closer to get loose teeth and start to lose them. His baby had grown so much and too fast, he wanted to go back to the day he was born. He had been terrified, scared, but so happy to welcome him to the world, to learn to be a mother, to attend every of his needs, to help him take his firsts steps, to hear him say his first words, to help him eat his first solid meal, to take him out the diapers and to let go of the last pacifier —that Steve kept as a trophy—.

He also knew he had to do something to get him a normal life, to send him to school and let him have friends, he couldn’t be on the run with the team forever.

“Mama?” Ari asked him with his head tilted to the side, “are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he said walking to him and kissing his head, “I was thinking that you should stop growing up so fast.”

“Put me on ice, ma,” he said, Steve laughed hugging him and shook his head.

“Don’t joke with that, Harika Rogers, you’re not allowed!” Ari laughed too and leaned into his ma chest. “I love you, Bubba.”

“I love you too, ma,” Steve smiled and closed his eyes, those were his favorite words in the world, he never thought he was going to ever hear them in his life, and now he got to hear them every day, he felt like the luckiest Omega on earth.

“Hey, fellas! Less love and more cooking, I’m hungry!” Nat said putting the pasta in the boiling water and noticing that mother and son were distracted. She was joking, of course, she loved seeing them like that, Ari was spoiled with love every day of his life as every child deserved to and that made her happy.

“Sorry, auntie!” Ari said giving Steve a kiss on the cheek and returning to his task.

Nat blinked at them and turned to listen to whatever Sam was saying, probably about the latest series he was binge-watching on Netflix and that had been begging for weeks for her to watch it too.

Wanda called at her expected time that night, right after dinner, and even talked to Ari because Vision wanted to see him, he hadn’t since Ari had left the compound more than a year ago. Ari talked to them excitedly, until Steve had to tell him to hang the call because it was time to sleep under the sea of shining stars of his roof, just like the ones in his old room at the Compound.

Something that hadn’t changed on Ari was his choice of company to sleep, his Teddy bear. Steve was relieved he hadn’t asked about his dada any further than that day years ago, but he knew that his baby was patiently waiting for Bucky to return, and honestly, Steve was patiently waiting for a call that Shuri had promised him more than a year ago, too.

Kissing his forehead and wishing him sweet dreams, Steve left Ari’s room door semi-opened and went to the comfort of his bedroom. There he relaxed by resuming his current read while unconsciously touching his neck. The uncomfortableness of Bucky being frozen had vanished and the bond was useless, Steve hadn’t felt anything for a long time, it looked like this particular wait was going to take longer than expected. He liked to touch it though, it gave him memories of the bliss he and Bucky had experimented the days after the bite, of the stolen kisses when they were working with more company that the Howlies, the nights they spent together muffling their moans and gasps between kisses to avoid being heard by their superiors, the lies they told to explain why Bucky had slept on Steve’s tent or why Steve wore Bucky’s clothes in the morning. Steve never enjoyed war, but he did enjoy those precious moments with his mate, he had loved him more than anything, and he still did. If Steve could have just one wish, it’ll be for him to get better, to finally meet their son, and if he still wanted him, to get their happily ever after.

But for now, all Steve could do, was to dream of it, and wish that Shuri’s call didn’t take longer than it was already taking.

In Wakanda, Shuri was driving her car while listening to loud music and singing along to it. The day was beautiful to enjoy breakfast with family and a quick dip in the pool before storming back to the lab, so those were the plans for the day. However, she was driving to a close-by community to pick someone up to make him join the breakfast and let him spend a few hours with her. Bucky.

Shuri’s mind was uneasy with the fact that she had promised Steve to call him when the ‘cure’ for Bucky was found and let him be there with him… but the thing is that Bucky had asked for it, he had asked for Shuri’s silence, and she had accomplished.

The solution was found in January that year, Bucky was woken up in February and with it working in the first try, she was about to pick up the phone but he stopped her. He wanted to spend some time alone to get more used to life in the 21st century and well, life in Wakanda because his stay hasn’t been that interesting thanks to the cryosleep. To do that, Shuri had accommodated him in the small community she was driving to, where he was well taken care of and free to do as he pleased.

When Shuri parked in the side of the road, she could hear the laughs of the kids from afar, they were always up early for the White Wolf. He was amazing around them, helping them with the tasks that their parents had for them, letting them braid his long hair and playing with them.

Two Dora, that had been traveling a different car, followed her to her final destination, she waved and said hi to the people that were there responding to her greetings, and by the pond of water that was shining at the sunlight, was Bucky. He was working on a fence with another man, his hair was braided out of his face and his only arm busy with a hammer. The kids were buzzing around the two men, running and screaming, asking Bucky when he was going to finish to play with them. They ran to Shuri once she was on sight, and he looked at her, too, a bright smile adorned his face and said something to the man, that waved at her and let him go.

“Good morning, Bucky!” she greeted him with now a kid on her hip, he kissed his own hand and placed it on her cheek, what he usually did when she came over and he was all sweaty and gross.

“Good morning, Princess! How have you been?”

“Pretty good for the most time, working a lot on your project,” she teased, her eyebrows wriggling.

“Well, I don’t understand anything when you try to explain it to me, but I hope it comes out great,” he said squinting his eyes at the sunlight, just then a little girl came running out of nowhere, launching herself into Bucky’s midsection and hugging him, almost making him lost balance, “auch! Easy, baby girl, easy on the old man!” he said laughing and returning the hug.

“Well, I’m afraid I’m gonna take you away for a couple of hours, or days, of course, you’re invited to stay if you want.”

“Oh! Right, I forgot about those plans!” Bucky said apologetically. “Is it ok if we rain check them for another time?”

Shuri sighed and looked down. This was getting ridiculous. She knew what Bucky was doing the second time he asked for a rain check on their plans of him going back to Birnin Zana, approximately five months ago. He was evading. And what, or well no, not what, _who_ was he avoiding, Shuri knew that too.

It had been nearly seven months since he had the trigger words removed, the procedure worked and he wasn’t _that_ healthy mentally, that it was understandable because of his traumas, but he was capable of handling things, he spent time with kids, cooked, did chores, helping people around him, got himself ready to receive therapy. He was stable. There was no reason to keep him secluded like he wanted to be, there was no reason not to make a phone call to let his best friend know he was as good as he could get for the moment.

T’Challa reproached her that she should’ve called Captain Rogers already, that he didn’t fancy keeping a secret from such an ally and friend. But for her, Bucky had the final word, and he needed to have something in his control after so many years of being used as a puppet. Now, as said previously, she believed it was getting ridiculous, running away from something —or someone— wasn’t going to help him continue his recovery, at all.

“It’s ok, Bucky, we can re-schedule for another day,” she said looking at him and smiling. “But you should know that I’m heartbroken that you forgot about having breakfast and spending the day in the lab.”

“Hmmm…” Bucky squinted his eyes again, this time at her, realizing what she was doing, “that’s not going to work on me, sorry,” he said chuckling softly, Shuri rolled her eyes. “Maybe next time it will.”

“Ok, ok… so, you should know that my mom…”

“Oh no…”

“Yes, she was really looking forward to seeing you, Bucky,” she pouted, “she’s going to be heartbroken to hear that you turned down her personal invitation to have breakfast with our family… again.”

“You are…”

“So, so, so sad, Bucky.”

“… the worst.”

“Are you sure you want to leave my mom that sad, Bucky?”

“I hate you.”

“So sad, Bucky, so much sadness…”

“Ok! Ok!” he exclaimed sighing, “I’ll go get a few things and we can go.”

Shuri smiled, triumphant, and distracted herself while Bucky cleaned up for the short ride to the city. There wasn’t much in his hut. His most appreciated things were the history and engineering books that Shuri had gifted him and his mattress, which was so comfortable that it hurt to leave it every morning.

He picked his current read from the bed and a paper slide out of the pages. He took it curiously, he didn’t remember putting anything on it, it had a piece of fabric to bookmark if he wasn’t wrong. When he picked it, his lungs forgot how to breathe for a few seconds. It was a picture of Steve. It was old. In black and white. He was wearing his Captain suit, eyes disappearing in a line thanks to the beautiful smile adorning his lips. Bucky used to adore when Steve laughed and his eyes did that, it was cute.

Bucky was aware it had been more than a year since the last time they had seen each other. He also knew that Steve had wanted to be with him when the cure was found, but he stopped Shuri from making the phone call that would make Steve travel back to him. He needed time to think, time to run out of love to be strong enough to face him again. But of course, it never happened.

The bond wasn’t being used by any side, and it was probable that while Bucky was in Wakanda, Steve was with… whoever the other person was, too busy to use it. Agh. Bucky didn’t even know why he was so jealous if during the two years he had spent on the run, he never answered any of the contacts that Steve had attempted to make with him. Not even to let him know he was ok.

He still loved him. But he had asked the big question before going under, and Steve had answered. They were friends. Friends. Just friends.

Sighing and putting the picture back in the book, Bucky put it on a duffle bag and finished freshening up quickly, gathered a few items of clothes in the bag and walked out to say goodbye to the kids.

On the way back to the city, Shuri made him listen to some of her favorites songs, which he weirdly enjoyed for someone who had lived in the ’40s. He even asked her to play again a few ones he had particularly enjoyed and laughed when Shuri sang along to them.

On the first day of the visit, he first showered, changed to a new outfit that just happened to be in his room’s closet, then joined Ramonda, Shuri, Nakia, T’Challa and Okoye for breakfast. After that, Shuri dragged him to the lab, where he spent most of the time asking questions that she enthusiastically answered and listened to more music.

The days started to pass. One. And then two. Three. And a fourth. And on the fifth, at night, in one of the gardens of the palace, Shuri finally sat down and feeling guilty as hell, she pressed the call button.

Later that night, she also let Bucky know what she had done. Bucky, far from being mad at her, he nodded and accepted the fact that he was going to have to see him again. And obviously, he didn’t sleep the entire night.

In Korea, Steve had jumped out of bed when the phone ringed, it was still early so the team gathered behind his door, waiting for the call to be a call for a mission… but oh boy, it wasn’t and they weren’t sure if that was better or worse. Steve panicked the same way that Nat had panicked when he had told her he was in labor. He walked up and down the house like a headless chicken with Nat behind him, telling him to take the Quinjet and go, to not waste any more time. Then Sam stopped him by putting his hands on his shoulders and giving him a little pep talk. Then Wanda had made tea to calm him down. Two hours later, Steve was kissing sleeping Ari’s face, packing a few things and boarding the Quinjet to Wakanda.

He tried to sleep a little by leaving the autopilot on, but it was impossible. First, he was going to see Bucky for the first time in more than a year, and this time it wasn’t going to end in disaster. Bucky was fucking free. He didn’t have any Hydra on him anymore, except for the serum that made him a super-soldier, but the words, the mind control, was gone. And with that, Bucky’s biggest nightmare was over, and Steve’s intentions of telling him about Ari were back on the table. Second, he didn’t know how he was going to act when he saw him. Of course, Steve wanted to hug him until Bucky asked him to let him go, but that wasn’t something that friends did, right? Did friends hug for that long? Well, blame it on the fact that they had been just friends when they were kids, all the other memories he had were of them as a couple, it was the only type of relationship that Steve was familiar with when it came to Bucky.

He hadn’t still figured out what he was going to do when the sunny Wakanda said hello to him after trespassing the border. He landed the Quinjet in the landing pad and stood there, just sitting on the pilot’s seat, overthinking and controlling his breathing. He hadn’t felt this anxious in a long time, and probably the last time was when he was told that Ari was on the way.

Ramonda and her Dora were expecting him as he exited the aircraft with his sweaty hands on the pockets of his khakis. T’Challa’s mother gave him a warm welcome with a big smile and a hug, that he returned in the same polite way, thanking her for allowing him to come back.

As it was almost midday and Shuri and Bucky weren’t in the palace, Steve was driven to Shuri’s lab, that it was at just 10 minutes away. Ramonda had matters to attend so he was in the car with two Dora that chatted with him about Wakanda, if he liked it, what places would he like to see in the future.

Steve’s heart did a weird jump when the car stopped and he was again at the entrance of Shuri’s lab. The last time he had been there was the day of Bucky’s induced cryo sleep, it felt like that was a thousand years ago. Scientists said hi as they made their way to the floor where Shuri and Bucky were, they didn’t seem surprised by Steve’s presence, maybe because they were already used to Bucky’s.

The first evidence that they were getting closer was the music that was heard from the distance, and that it was just a little bit louder at every step. The Dora that had been leading the way stopped and positioned at every side of the door, letting Steve know he was good to proceed alone. He nodded at them and walked in.

Steve recognized the voice that sounded through the speakers. Sam and Wanda absolutely loved The Weeknd, and when they cooked together, all you could hear from any room you were in, were the sounds of their voices singing loudly. And if you weren’t so lucky and had to go to the kitchen during that, you will see them dancing while singing and cooking. That’s why they started to cook approximately two hours in advanced to lunch or dinner time.

Now, the scene was different but not that much. Shuri and Bucky were singing along to Starboy, and instead of dancing around, they were moving to the beat on their seats while working on something that was out of Steve’s view. He smiled seeing Bucky’s back, his hair was definitely longer than the last time and up in a half bun, he was wearing a big scarf around his chest, underneath that he was wearing jeans and a deep blue t-shirt with Converse. Steve stood there until Shuri noticed him and elbowed Bucky.

Bucky made a cute ‘huh?’ sound and looked behind him twice before turning around completely, observing Steve with wide eyes and parted lips, until all he could say was “Steve…”

“Hey, Buck…”

They both walked forward at the same moment and reunited in the middle, Bucky hugged his waist with his arm and Steve wrapped his around Bucky’s neck. Breathing in and out softly, Steve let his head fall to his Alpha’s shoulder, his eyes closing and not realizing that Bucky was doing the same.

Shuri watched them hug for long two minutes without saying a word, only a smile on her lips and a feeling of satisfaction that came for knowing that she had done the right thing by calling Steve. She didn’t want to interrupt, so she silently walked out and took the Dora with her, the men were going to need a few minutes to themselves.

“Your hair’s longer…” was the first thing that Steve whispered with his face buried on Bucky’s neck.

Bucky snorted and caressed Steve’s back. “You have a beard…” he commented making Steve laugh quietly, “and your hair is longer, too,” he said moving the hand to Steve’s long strands of golden hair.

“You also have a beard,” Steve counterattacked jokingly, they broke the embrace slightly and took their time to look into the other’s eyes.

Bucky missed the times when he had to look down to be able to lock eyes with Steve, because he never got used to his Omega being just a few inches taller, and of course, now he was the one that had to look up to meet the beautifully mesmerizing blue and hints of green that were Steve’s eyes. He automatically put his hand on his cheek and carded his fingers through the beard, making Steve blush and laugh again.

“It’s nice, it suits you,” Bucky spoke gently. “I don’t think I had ever seen you with one, and let alone the longer hair… it’s… what is this word that Shuri uses when T’Challa is wearing his suit?” he asked himself, “oh! It’s fierce!”

Steve laughed louder recognizing the words from some tv show that Wanda and Clara watched with Ari, “thanks… the beard also suits you, I never saw you with one before.”

“Thanks, it was time to try something new, I think… I never grew it before because it was inconvenient and then in the war, we had to be as polished and groomed as possible, so…”

“They both look amazing on you, Buck, you can pull off anything you want, everything looks good on you.”

“Stop trying to charm me, Rogers,” he said punching his arm without any strength. “How was the flight? Did you bring Bird Man along?”

“No… only me, I kinda jumped out of bed when Shuri called me.”

“What did she tell you?”

“She told me they had removed the words successfully and that you had been awake for some time now…”

“Aren’t you mad that she didn’t tell you earlier?”

“No, I figured you needed space before and after the procedure,” Steve answered, “although I gotta admit I’m kinda sad that you woke up alone…”

Bucky’s hand that was on Steve’s face fell to his shoulder, “I’m happy that you came…”

“I wouldn’t miss the chance of seeing you for anything,” Steve said, and right then and there Bucky wanted to kiss him stupid. He wanted to see how his lips tasted in this century, to feel the warmth of his body against his while doing it, bury his hand on his hair, provoke the sweet moans that sometimes invaded his dreams at night, he wanted to feel Steve’s hands roaming his body and making him forget about the time they had spent apart.

But also right then and there, Bucky smelled somebody else on his Omega, and his bubble of happiness and his desire to kiss him were gone. What if Steve actually didn’t care that he had spent a few months awake because he was with that other person? What if Steve had let his beard and hair grow because that person had told him to? And most importantly, why were they still that close to each other if Steve had somebody else?

“I missed you, Buck,” Steve whispered and getting closer to him to push their bodies back together, Bucky stared at him and backed out a little.

“I-I missed you, too,” he said taking his hand away from him and seeing that Shuri, that little traitor, was actually gone. “Shuri said something about having lunch in the palace, wanna join us?”

“Yeah, yeah… it sounds great.”

Steve followed Bucky to the exit in the middle of his mind having a mental breakdown and a heartbreak situation. He had obviously noticed how Bucky backed out when he tried to hug him again, he noticed that the warm welcome was something that happened thanks to the heat of the moment, thanks to the heat of encountering each other after so long. He sighed while admiring the nature of how Bucky moved inside the lab and with the Dora, that seemed to adore him.

Then it hit him.

Shuri had mentioned that Bucky had been awake “for a while”, she had said.

The last time he had seen Bucky, his hair was at the most, at chin length.

Now Bucky’s hair was longer. Much longer. 

It was past his shoulders.

It was so long that he had to put in in a half bun to be comfortable.

So, exactly for how long had he been awake?

He knew that they were back to friends before Bucky went under willingly, but he never thought that he may have been… trying to live without him. Or… avoiding him… or… what?

Between more overthinking and food in the middle of it all, Steve became reacquainted with his best friend. Steve smiled the whole time during lunch that Bucky spoke about his future plans, because this time, those plans weren’t going to be stopped by money problems or a world war, so Bucky was going to pursue his teenage dream: study and became a professional.

He told him that he was thinking about studying engineering in Wakanda, the profession he would’ve loved to study before the war, and for that, what better place to do it than the country that had the most incredible technology and engineering systems in the world, along with the best University for it. Obviously he was going to try to do something about his international status to try to be a regular citizen, and do a lot of studying for the first exams that allowed you to be accepted, but he was willing to do it. Shuri also told him that she was going to train him if she got the chance, and she encouraged him even more by saying that he was going to be her right hand once he got his degree.

The Princess had to return to the lab after lunch and left them in the palace to keep the conversation going. Bucky showed Steve around, he was definitely comfortable in there, a lot of the staff greeted him by name or by White Wolf, and he, being the well-raised boy he was, greeted them with his Brooklyn charm and a bright smile.

As the future was discussed in their extensive talk, Steve and Bucky talked a lot about the past, too, about their childhood and their teens, stopping right when they reached the ages of when got officially together. Steve didn’t mention it, but he recalled his mother’s low-key excitement when Bucky marched straight to her to tell her that he was in love with Steve. Bucky had been thirteen and Steve twelve. Sarah freaked out despite the happiness because of their young ages and told Bucky that if he was patient enough, she could considerate let them go out for a few dates when she considered that Steve was ready for dating. And yes, Bucky waited. They were just friends all that time of waiting, until on Steve’s fourteenth birthday, she gave them the green light, and since then, there was no one that could stop them from kissing innocently and holding hands. Sarah and Winifred Barnes gave their sons ‘the talk’ when Steve turned fifteen, seeking that maybe their boys could succumb to their desires sooner or later.

Bucky didn’t mention it either, but he also remembered that. He remembered the attack of confidence he had one day to go to Sarah and tell her that he wanted to be Steve’s Alpha in the future. He remembered the wait, the stolen kisses on Steve’s hand and the happiness of that 4th of July when Sarah told him that Steve was now ready and of enough age to date. He remembered how, with blood rushing to his cheeks, he listened to his mother talk about sex, about protection, about how to treat his Omega right. When the time came, a quiet night during one of Sarah’s night shifts at the hospital, he remembered that everything started because be was not able to stop kissing Steve and to show him that he was on the same situation, Steve sat on his lap, his skinny arms around his neck, his slim waist moving against Bucky’s body, sweet little sounds coming out of his kiss-swollen lips. Then the sounds turned to sweet little pleas for him to take him to his room, to bed, whispering that he was ready, that he wanted to do it with him, just him.

At some point, Bucky had to stop thinking about it. Having _that_ with Steve right now wasn’t a possibility, and remembering the good moments wasn’t helping at all.

“And yeah, he tried to fly along with a plane, a wing got caught on it and that’s how Sam died,” Steve said, observing Bucky closely.

“Mhm…”

“Buck, you’re not even listening,” he said chuckling, taking him out of his dream bubble and back to reality, where they were walking to Steve’s room posterior to having dinner with Ramonda and Shuri.

“I’m sorry, my mind distracted me for a moment, what were you saying?”

“Nothing important, don’t worry,” he stopped in front of a door and pointed at it. “My room.”

“Oh! We’re here already.”

“Yeah, you could’ve noticed but you were too busy daydreaming.”

“Well, to be fair with me, it’s already nighttime, pal, I’m allowed to dream, ok?” Steve chucked again and crossed his arms while resting a shoulder on the door.

“Are you going to sleep now?”

“Yeah, and considering that Shuri woke me up at 6:30 am to go to the gym, I’m going to pass out as soon as I touch the pillow.”

“What an unholy time to go to the gym… please don’t let her come pick me up at that time, I like to have my beauty sleep when I have the chance,” he joked.

“Oh no, I suffer, you suffer, if she wakes me up at that time, you’re in for a workout session, Stevie,” he said pointing at him and smiling when he laughed.

“You’re mean, that’s how you treat your best friend that comes to visit you?”

“Yeah, and if you weren’t my best friend, I wouldn’t have even told you about the gym, I would’ve left Shuri to come to pick you up by surprise.”

The laughs that filled the hallway reminded of Steve when they had long talks while looking at the moon, specifically in the warm summer nights when the moon was in all her glory. Just that, in the past, the laughs filled his room mostly, because there were always people on the Barnes’s apartment, so Steve and Sarah’s was their safe place to do whatever they wanted as long as Sarah was out.

“Well, you must be tired, I won’t keep you up anymore,” Steve said standing straight again. “See you tomorrow at breakfast?”

“Nah, see me tomorrow at 6:30 am.”

Steve laughed, “Oh, Bucky, c’mon! Let me rest!”

“I’ll think about it once the time arrives, but I don’t make any promises… so I hope you brought workout clothes.”

“You’re a jerk,” Steve said getting close to him.

“And you’re a punk,” Bucky spoke smiling and extending his arm at him, Steve took the opportunity and hugged him shortly.

“Goodnight, Buck.”

“Goodnight to you, too.”

Steve entered his room with a sigh, he threw himself to the queen-sized bed and before drifting off, he made sure to make a few phone calls, or well, video-calls. But he had been so tired, that immediately after hanging up, he fell asleep with his clothes on and over the bedcover.

On the other hand, Bucky passed out after a quick shower, he was tired, but his mind wasn’t quiet. He dreamt of Steve that night, of pre-serum Steve. In the dream, they still lived in their old crappy apartment, but all the available places in it were full of Bucky’s University books and Steve’s artwork. It was peaceful. He was studying for an upcoming test while Steve sketched him from across the room, also studying for one of his upcoming tests. They looked so happy and relaxed even when studying for their future, but it was each other’s company that made them feel that way, it had always been. It didn’t matter how awful life was, how unfair was that Bucky could never enter University because he couldn’t finish high school, or how unfair was that Steve could never make it to Art School because they didn’t have money for art supplies, in the end, at night, when they slept in the arms of the other, everything was fine, for a couple of hours at least.

Bucky woke up unexpectedly at 5:30 am. He considered going back to sleep, but it was not possible, once he was awake, he had to get up. To make the most out of the situation, he washed his face, put on a simple sports jacket over his naked torso and walked out to his favorite place to watch the sunrise. Said place was a balcony which most of the time remained closed but that a few other times the royal family used to have private breakfasts, lunches or dinners when they had guests. It had privileged views to the city on one side, that looked awesome at night, and to the jungle on the other, that gave an amazing view of the sunrise and sunset. When Bucky got there, he was surprised to find the door already unlocked, and more surprised to find Steve wrapped in a blanket in one of the exterior sofas that the decoration of the balcony had to offer to whoever was in there. Like if he knew that it was his favorite, Steve had chosen the corner that showed off the jungle.

“Hey, good morning,” he said softly to not to startle him, Steve looked at him and smiled sleepily.

“Hey… is it time for the gym already?”

“No, we still have another hour,” he sat next to him and put his legs on the sofa, feeling a little chilly, he had forgotten to put on socks and the air wasn’t that warm yet. “What are you doing up? Couldn’t sleep?”

“No, I slept like a baby, I just woke up a few minutes ago and couldn’t go back to sleep.” Steve explained tugging the blanket closer to him, “what about you?”

“Same,” he answered. “Besides, we went to sleep at 10 pm, I think our bodies slept enough, right?” Steve smiled beside him and shook his head.

“Wanna come?” Steve asked a moment later, noticing that Bucky was cold from the chilling breeze of air that was hitting the balcony.

Bucky scooped closer and let the warmth of the blanket surround his cold areas, “a hundred years old and still not wearing socks to bed,” Steve said.

“A hundred… my God, I’m a hundred years old,” he answered gasping.

“You’re a grandpa.”

“Pff, you’re 11 months away from the same number, mister, you’re not the one to talk,” he elbowed him jokingly and Steve dropped his head to his shoulder to make the blanket situation work, they were two large men and couldn’t ask for the fabric to stretch anymore.

“Buck… can I make you a question?”

“Sure,” he said quickly, “hit me with your best shot.”

Contrary to Bucky, Steve had had a nightmare. He had confessed Bucky that they had a son and he had completely refused to be in the kid’s life, stating that he wanted to study and be a free man, not a father or a mate. He woke up panicking, asking himself if that could actually happen, because well, Bucky had been really excited at the idea of becoming an engineer, and not just a simple one, but an engineer that studied in Wakanda, with Vibranium, the best kind of engineers there was. Could he possibly…? No, Steve’s common sense said that no, Bucky would never do that. But Steve’s side that had been broken because of the abandonment of the bond, said that yes, Bucky could reject, not just him, but Ari, too. Consequently, Steve was tired and wanted answers, it didn’t matter how much they could hurt him. So he rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder and looked up at him, giving himself a flashback of his pre-serum body, he always had to do that if he wanted to look at his mate’s face.

“Do you want me in your life?” he asked, quietly.

Bucky’s eyes deviated to him, leaving the sunrise abandoned. “What do you mean?”

“Just… I know that you had been awake for a while and… I swear I understand the having space thing that I told you yesterday… but, Buck, you look like you have been awake for a long time,” he said, never leaving the quiet, calming tone of his voice, he wanted this to be a conversation, not an argument. “A long time.”

“Yes…”

“When did you wake up, then?”

“In February this year…” he confessed, “Shuri’s team wasn’t 100% sure if the procedure was going to actually work, so they asked me to stay awake for a while to let my body heal and then you know, check if it worked… and I… I told Shuri not to call you.”

Steve’s eyes dropped to the floor, “I understand…”

“I told her not to call you because I was and I am scared of… of facing you again… I didn’t know how was I going to… you know, be around you…”

“Why?”

Bucky sighed deeply, Steve removed his head out of his shoulder and looked at him. “Don’t you think you have something to tell me?”

Steve’s face could have easily be compared with the white color of a sheet paper. Remember that he did some overthinking yesterday after getting together with Bucky? Well, that was nothing compared to what was going on with his mind at this moment. There was only one thing, _someone_, that Steve had kept from him. Ari wasn’t out in the world as his son, but Wakandans had everything in technology, and that could also mean having everything on intelligence, right? Could maybe Shuri, had done some research and… and found out about Ari? Had she told Bucky? If it wasn’t Ari, what was the thing that Bucky knew that was demanding Steve to tell him about?

Ok, there’s was no way of turning back. This was it, this was the moment. It had to be. He had to do it. The secret was burning him from inside out. He had to tell him.

After that it seemed like an eternity to Bucky, Steve finally spoke, “what if I told you that… that there’s someone else?”

Bucky laughed bitterly, “I know Steve.”

_Oh my God, oh God, oh dear Lord. Holy shit._ “You do?”

“Yeah,” he said changing his tone to bitter to casually chatty in a blink, “and I don’t blame you, I mean, you woke up in the new century, as far as you were concerned, I was dead, you were free and…”

While Bucky rambled about the reasons why it was ok for Steve to have someone else, he couldn’t stop thinking that Bucky had gotten it all wrong. When he had said someone else, Bucky thought he truly had _someone, _a new partner, a new lover. Not a… a kid. Bucky had no idea. Bucky believed he had a new person in his life, and Steve didn’t know if to cry there or in his room.

“Buck, wait…”

“No, no, it’s fine, I mean…”

“Buck, wait, I don’t…”

“I understand, Steve, really, I swear I…”

“Bucky, stop!” Bucky startled at him. Steve attempted to rush and say he was sorry for how he had made him stop talking, but something else came out, “I don’t have someone else like that,” he said right away.

“You don’t?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“No, Buck… I-God, I haven’t even been with anybody else since I woke up in this century…”

Bucky looked shocked, “you haven’t?”

“No… why would I do that?” he asked almost immediately. “Yes, as far as I was concerned you were dead… but you were my mate, and to me, your death was a fresh wound, I wasn’t going to just accept that you were gone and jump right to the next person…”

“I’m so sorry, Steve, I didn’t mean it like that but… it’s just that…” he struggled to find the words, “it’s just that you smell like somebody else, you know that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“That! You smell like someone else, Steve… like if you had slept in the same bed with that someone and spent a lot of time with that someone…”

“Oh…” was all he managed to say, “that’s why you asked me if we were still friends, _just friends_?”

“Of course, punk… I thought you had found someone better,” he said almost in a whisper, now even ashamed of his own thoughts.

“I could never find someone better, Buck… you’re my better.”

“Am I?” he did whisper this time, his eyes were entirely focused on Steve, his long and messy hair, the way his eyes were sparkling as if he held the most precious diamond on his hand.

“Yes, Buck… always,” he said taking his hand and slowly intertwining their fingers, he gave him a firm squeeze and Steve smiled.

“I was being an asshole, I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about… I now know why you were distant and I understand, the years we spent in the ice made things to our well-trained capacity of communicating, huh?” Bucky wheezed understanding that all that wouldn’t have happened if they spoke before. “And I also know that I do smell like someone else,” Bucky’s body tensioned instantly, “but, hey, wait, let me explain, ok?”

Steve re-arranged the blanket over their bodies and realized they were missing the sunrise, but he didn’t care.

“There is someone else… and I’m not talking about someone like… a partner.”

“Then what are you talking about?” Bucky asked, impatient for the answer. “You’re kinda freaking me out here.”

A long sigh left Steve’s mouth and he breathed in before speaking again as if preparing himself for what he was going to say. “There’s no easy way of saying this… but Bucky…” and he doubted for a second.

His nightmare flashed in his eyes, the reject on him was something he could live with, but knowing that the father of his son didn’t want him, was something that would break his heart. However, he found new hope inside him. If Bucky had thought he had someone and had avoided him for months, it meant that he still… felt something, like he did. Maybe if he confessed, Bucky wasn’t going to argue that he was getting his life back and that a kid wasn’t in his plans, because that wasn’t Bucky, that was Steve’s fear talking. Steve’s reality, the man before him, his mate and the love of his life, was never going to reject their own pup, he was going to adapt to the new situation, make it work.

So Steve regained courage and spoke, softly, “I-I… no, not just I… we… we have a kid, Buck.”

“You mean you adopted a pup?” he asked surprised.

Steve wanted to nervously laugh, all he could manage to do was shake nervously, “no, no I didn’t…” he said, voice and lips suddenly quivering, “I had it, I gave it to birth…”

“But… you…” Bucky sat closer to Steve and whispered like if they had people around them, “but… I remember that you… you couldn’t, in the past, we went to see a doctor and…”

“Yeah, I remember… and Erskine told me the exact same thing later on…”

“Yes… so?”

“It’s complicated…” Steve started to say, “the doctors never found the real answer to why… but we… we conceived, Buck… during the war…”

Bucky’s eyes had never filled with tears that quickly in his life. “What?” he asked breathlessly, “but… we… how, what?”

“When I woke up after the ice… I was pregnant, a few weeks along. I didn’t know until I had a doctor’s appointment… the pup had slept with me, and when I woke up, so did the pup.”

Bucky was not blinking but he felt the tears coming down his cheeks like a waterfall, Steve’s eyes were also flooded, his cheeks wet and body still shaking, not at the chilly weather, of course.

Bucky squeezed his hand again and blinked to clear his vision, “Steve… how… did things… I mean, everything went alright?”

“Yeah… I got a medical leave for a couple of months, I didn’t want the world to know…”

He nodded, and now Bucky realized they were both shaking.“Were you… were you alone, through all of it?” he asked, afraid that the answer may be positive.

“No, I stayed at the Avengers tower with the team, I had my apartment and everything I needed there,” Steve explained, “Nat was with me all the time, too, she made sure that I was never alone… she was even there for the birth,” he said trying to ease the mood.

“Was she?” Bucky asked smiling and feeling a new wave of tears leaving his eyes.

“Yeah, we were both freaking out, but she helped me, I think I might have broken her hand,” Bucky laughed, “she’s the favorite aunt, as you may suspect.”

“I don’t doubt it,” he said sniffling, “what’s the pup’s name?”

“We call him Ari,” Steve answered smiling, Bucky bit his lower lip to avoid crying harder, a _boy_, “his name is actually Harika… but I thought that Ari sounded better than Hari… so, Ari it was.” He used his free hand to delicately wipe Bucky’s tears off of his cheeks, “I chose it because it means ‘miracle’, and I think of him as our little miracle after everything we’ve been through and considering all the odds we have against…”

“It’s beautiful, Stevie,” Bucky whispered in tears, “you did a great job by picking it.”

“Thanks…”

“How old is he?”

“I can’t believe it, but he’s four years old, he turns five in November,” he said, “he’s getting so big, Buck…”

“Yeah, I can imagine…” he whispered again, “have you tell him about me? Does he know about me?”

“Of course, I never hid that you were his dad…”

“Does he think I’m dead?” he asked, “does he know all the things I have done?”

“When he asked me about you I already knew you were alive, I told Ari that you were away… and I believed that the other things were to adults to discuss, not to him to know, he doesn’t need to know that, he’s just a kid.”

“I understand…” Bucky said, Steve’s hand had stayed on his cheek, so he leaned to the touch like he usually did in the past. “Thank you for everything you have done for him while I wasn’t there…”

“Don’t say that… we were away from each other by force, not by choice… the good thing is that if you want, you can be part of his life and be there, and do things for him, just like I have been doing…”

“Yeah, of course, I want to be in his life, I don’t want to miss anything, Steve, I wanna be there.”

There were a few sounds in the world that had and could make Steve skip a beat. The first one was the times when Bucky told him he loved him, it made him feel the luckiest person alive. The second one was when he had just given birth to Ari and Jarvis told him that the pup’s health was normal. The third one he discovered it to be Ari’s laugh, it didn’t matter in which stage of his life, his baby, his toddler laugh were one of his favorite sounds. The fourth, was the quietness of a room at night and the soft _thump_ that Ari’s heart made and that he could listen, thanks to the super-soldier serum. And now, the fifth was Bucky assuring him that he wasn’t leaving, that he wanted to be the father their son deserved to have.

“I wanna meet him, too… do you think we could arrange something for me to go where you guys are staying?”

“It’s too risky,” Steve said, “but why don’t I send the Quinjet back and tell Nat to bring him here? I mean, we’ll have to talk to T’Challa because Ari has never been here, but… maybe?”

“I can talk to him, if I explain the situation he’ll probably let him in.”

“Alright then,” Steve smiled and looked at the jungle, “I think we lost the sunrise.”

Bucky turned and laughed seeing that the sun had already come up while they spoke. “We can watch it tomorrow, with Ari… or probably better to show him the sunset, the sunrise is too early,” he debated with himself adorably, making Steve didn't regret his decision of telling him.

“Whatever it is, if he’s with you, he’s going to enjoy it.”

Later that day before breakfast, Bucky spoke to T’Challa, explained the entire situation and he accepted to let Natalia and Ari, _his son_, to arrive in Wakanda by noon. Steve called Nat and asked her if she wanted to travel for a couple of days with Ari, and she gladly accepted. He also video-called Ari, told him that he was going to travel with auntie Nat to join him in the country he was in and…

“Bubba, remember when I told you, a long time ago, that your dad was away?”

“Yes, you told me he was coming home someday,” Ari said though the screen, he was playing with an Iron Man action figure and Sam by his side, was fixing a wing on his own Falcon figure.

“Well, he’s here now, and he’s ready to meet you,” he said as calmed as possible, “what do you think?”

Ari gasped and looked at his right, where uncle Sam was looking surprised like him. “Really?”

“Yeah… wanna come and meet him, or you need time, baby?”

“I wanna go!” he exclaimed immediately, his small face showing the excitement in a big smile, “when do we leave?”

“Ask auntie Nat, she has all the details.”

Saying that was a mistake because Ari let go of the iPad and ran to find Nat. Sam picked the pad instead and they talked a few minutes about Bucky and why Steve had decided to drop the bomb so early and yet so late.

When Sam hung up, Steve went to the hangar where the Quinjet was being kept, he drove it to the take-off zone and set the coordinates and the autopilot for Korea. Steve saw from the outside how the jet got ready for the flight, and also saw it take off and disappear into the air and the dome. It was a short flight, and if Nat had everything ready when the Quinjet arrived home, she and Ari were going to be in Wakanda in less than 5 hours.

Bucky saw Steve’s plane disappear from the balcony of his room and he had to walk back inside to try to calm his poor little heart. He thought that Steve’s arrival meant facing the fact that his mate had a significant other, not that Steve had been nothing but faithful to their relationship, to their bond, and that, on top of that, he had been raising _their_ son without him.

He wasn’t angry at Steve for keeping the secret all that time, he was aware that before he wasn’t stable, and it completely showed when Zemo had turned him into the Soldier. Now the chances of that happening were void, Zemo was locked in and if he said those terrible words at him, Bucky would laugh and then punch him in the nose.

Bucky hadn’t wanted to see any pictures of Ari, he wanted to meet him for the first time in person, just like Steve had done after giving birth. Oh, he wondered if Steve had pictures of the pregnancy, of the birth, of Ari as a baby, of Ari growing up. Once he met him, he was going to ask and if Steve did have some, he was going to cry looking at them, obviously.

He wondered how his son looked like, if he looked like Steve, or like him. If he had inherited his mama beautiful eyes and beautiful hair, if he was a perfect mix of him and Steve. He wanted to meet him as soon as possible, his arm was already aching to have him in his embrace, to see his little face and kiss his cheeks. Bucky saw himself spending entire afternoons playing with him in the gardens, or playing with him and the kids back in the community he was living in. Also, while on the run, he had remembered a few recipes that his ma used to make, maybe he could cook for him, too, nothing too fancy, something that a 4-year-old would eat easily.

Just when Bucky was having a mental breakdown over meeting his son, there was a knock on the door. It was Steve, that had sensed through the bond that he was in distress and came to the rescue, because, yes, Bucky had used it intentionally.

They spent the afternoon in Bucky’s room talking. Shuri called in the middle of that to ask how they were doing and Bucky told her that when she came back for dinner, he had a surprise for her, a big, shocking one.

Both men almost vibrated where they stood at Nat’s message that they were already boarding the jet, and to ease their minds, they decided to do the work out they hadn’t done in the morning. So they busied themselves with yoga, running on the mill, laughing when Steve couldn’t do certain position, laughing when Bucky confused the slow button with the fast one and almost launched himself backward if it wasn’t for Steve that turned off the running mill.

While leaving the gym they spoke of how much they trained back in the day in the army, and how their superiors would laugh if they saw them do yoga. It wasn’t bad though, it was actually great to help on the rest on the training session, but well, in the past, the army searched for muscles, not efficiently trained soldiers.

Steve gasped quietly when Bucky’s hand brushed the fingers of his hand with his on the way out. He extended his fingers without saying a word, and they found their way to Bucky’s in a second. They smiled shyly at each other. It was the first time they hold hands in more than 70 years, and it made them feel like they did in the 30s, like a pair of teenagers that had just gotten their mother’s permission to date.

Bucky and Steve walked to the latter’s room so he could shower, they said goodbye with a chaste kiss on the lips and agreed to meet in 30 minutes, Nat and Ari were at 45 minutes away.

Bucky took a shower as well, he then put on a pair of dark jeans, his favorite pair of Converse sneakers that didn’t have laces, a white t-shirt and arranged his usual scarf around his shoulders to hide the stump of metal. He was thinking what to do with his hair, Shuri had helped him that morning but now he was stuck with his long hair, a comb, a hair tie, and one arm. But again, like a knight in shining armor, Steve knocked on his door, freshly showered and with a new outfit, 10 minutes before their agreed time.

“It’s actually good that you’re here, I cannot comb my hair,” he admitted when Steve laughed at the disaster that he called hair.

“I’ll help you,” he said instantly and sat on the bed, waiting for Bucky to sit in front of him. “You used to be good at braiding and styling, I recall Rebecca not leaving for school until you did something pretty with her hair,” Steve commented while brushing Bucky’s hair.

Bucky smiled, “yeah… then ma protested when she couldn’t detangle her hair at night.”

“But it looked nice, it was all that mattered to her,” Steve laughed taking two strands of hair to make a half-bun.

“She had a crush on you,” Bucky said. “She was so mad at me when she found out we were together.”

“Oh man, she didn’t let us alone so we couldn’t kiss and got mad every time we held hands.”

“She eventually got over it, right?”

“Yeah, but her entire teenage years were a nightmare for us, she was really jealous,” he laughed again and left a kiss on Bucky’s neck before brushing the long hair that was out of the bun with his hands. “Ready.”

“Thanks, you saved me,” Bucky said standing up and admiring the work on the mirror, “not bad Rogers, not bad.”

Steve chuckled and was about to say some witty answer, but a sudden ding sounded distracted them, and with only one look at Steve’s phone and then at each other, they knew it was time, Nat and Ari were arriving.

Bucky walked through the hallways being lead mainly by Steve’s hand on his, he didn’t feel his legs working, walking to wherever he was walking to. When he realized they were getting closer to the landing pad, he stopped.

“Buck?”

There was no need for words at Bucky’s expression, he was petrified and Steve was feeling everything through the bond. He was anxious, scared, panicking on the inside and it showed on the outside.

“I can’t,” Bucky said. “I can’t.”

The phrase was giving Steve another flashback, of when he was in labor, feeling like he could die of pain but having Nat by his side to support him. He had to take Nat’s position this time because feeling what Bucky felt through the bond made it much more painful than actually seeing the pain in his eyes.

“C’mon, Buck, the Quinjet is landing…”

“I can’t,” he repeated in tears, hyperventilating and walking a few steps back. “I can’t.”

Steve sighed, let go of Bucky’s hand and lifted his crying face with a finger. He pressed their foreheads together, said nothing and stood there with him. 5 seconds later, he put his hands on Bucky’s neck to keep him in place gently and caressed his skin with his thumbs. “Breath with me… breath with me…”

Bucky obeyed and followed Steve’s instructions and pattern of breathing he was showing him, breathing in and exhaling through the mouth. It slowly helped him forget the soft murmur that the Quinjet made while landing in the background. Steve’s fingers combined with the skin to skin contact were working wonders as well, it was relaxing him in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. And pressing their foreheads together was their way of saying “I love you” without words. They had begun doing it back in Brooklyn when they couldn’t kiss in front of Rebecca whether they were out of the apartment and just walking around, or inside the apartment, she was like a woman with a mission: not let them kiss. It was funny then and it was still funny now because Rebecca eventually got over it, but it was more memorable for the little gesture of love they had created out of it.

“You got this,” Steve whispered, “you got this, Buck.”

Breathing controlled but with tears continuing to fall, Bucky managed to mutter, “what if he doesn’t love me?”

“He does, he will,” he assured him. “But I won’t pressure you... if you want to do this any other day…”

“No, no, I want it, I want to meet him, please.”

“Let’s do something…” Steve said making a plan on his head, “what if you go and wash your face while I welcome Ari and Nat with Ramonda, and ask her if we can meet in the balcony from earlier today? You can go whenever you feel like it, and if you back out, I won’t be mad, we can do this whenever you want, yes?”

Bucky nodded, sniffling and hugged Steve for a short second, before breaking it and accepting the kiss on the cheek his Omega gave him, that left him gasping for another short second. Kisses on the forehead were Bucky’s thing, but kisses on the cheek were Steve’s, and the ones that Bucky had dreamt of while being held a prisoner and while on the run.

He saw Steve go outside and he took the returning route to his room. Once he was there, he washed his face like Steve had told him, cried a few more minutes out of panic, and washed his face again. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, his face wet, eyes reddened, the scarf covering the shoulder of his missing arm… what that the father that his son deserved? A broken white boy, like Shuri called him? A broken soldier? A fragile man?

Deep inside him, a little voice told him ‘yes, you are’. Steve kept the secret for almost 5 years, he would’ve never said anything if he didn’t trust him if he didn’t think he was good enough for their son. So Bucky decided to believe in that voice. He wanted to meet his son and be a father, so he was going to need to start believing he was up for the job of taking his role, because even being broken and fragile, he knew he had enough love inside him to give to his son. And if he felt that way even before meeting him, maybe once he got to hold him all the broken pieces could be stick back together. 

Surprisingly, Steve didn’t have to ask Ramonda for permission to use the balcony, she had already arranged a table for a midday snack and to meet Ari, which she absolutely adored since the moment he extended his small hand at her as a hello.

Ari was quite impatient and uneasy. He had thought that his dad was going to be there with his mama when he got off the Quinjet, but his ma said that he was finishing getting dressed, that he was going to join them later. And that later was taking too long for the poor toddler, that had waited 4 long years to meet his dad.

Auntie Nat was doing a great job by handling her restless nephew, however, she did take the break she deserved when Steve offered to show Ari the other side of the balcony so she could eat and talk with Ramonda.

“It’s nice in here,” Ari said watching the landscape of the city behind the gardens of the palace. “It’s like uncle Tony’s tower and the compound in one!”

Steve, that was holding him on his hip, smiled at him, “Oh, yeah?”

“Yes! It’s tall like the tower and you can see the city and the buildings,” he exclaimed pointing at the view, “but from the other side, you can see green, like the compound! The best of both worlds, like Hannah Montana!”

Steve laughed loudly at the last sentence. Sam had gone crazy when he found the entire series online and then, knowing that anyone but Clara had watched it, he had proceeded to do a Hannah Montana marathon. That ended up in everyone getting into the music and the harmless teenage drama, even Ari, even though he was there for the catchy songs more than the drama.

“Oh, that’s right, Bubba, I haven’t thought of it like that,” he honestly said, “you’re so smart and so cute, and so smart,” Steve said kissing his cheek repeatedly, making Ari squeal and laugh.

“You said smart twice!”

“That’s because I meant it!”

Laughs and yelling were heard as Bucky got closer and closer to the sound. He had said hi to Ramonda and Natalia, and they had told him where Ari and Steve were, although it wasn’t hard to figure, Steve was making their son laugh loudly with whatever he was doing.

That whatever he was doing, was Steve pretending that was going to drop Ari while holding him by his armpits like if the kid weighed nothing, perks of a mom with super-strength, huh?

Steve was facing him, so all Bucky could see in a first glance was the dark hair on his son’s head. It wasn’t Steve’s, and just that made him get his eyes flooded in a second. _He had his hair_. Bucky wondered what else had his son inherited from him when his eyes found Steve’s, and he let Ari hug his neck to hold him better.

“Hey Bubba, there’s someone here to meet you,” Steve said in Ari’s ear.

Bucky heard what Steve had said, but he forgot to process the words when the child in his arms whipped his head in his direction and stared at him. He had no idea of what to say of what to do, his rehearsed conversations were gone, his rehearsed actions too. They just stared at each other, Bucky seeing his son for the first time, and Ari, after so much time of gazing at pictures, enjoyed to inspect the man he had called dada all those years. What was better for Ari, was that now he didn’t look at a photo and wished to know how his father’s voice sounded like, or how tall he was or if he truly looked like him as his ma had told him. Now, the man staring back was blinking —he was actually crying— and he was moving slowly towards him, to clear all those questions he had collected with time.

Ari wriggled in Steve’s arms to get down and when his feet touched the floor, he walked to the man, his dada, that was scouting down on his knees to be at his height.

Ari’s first words to his father were the exact ones he had promised to his ma, a few years ago, that he was going to say to him, and he spoke them loud and clear: “hi! My name is Harika Azura Rogers!”

Bucky and Steve laughed and that caused the Alpha’s eyes to tear up even more. “Nice to meet you, Ari,” he said wiping away his tears with his hand, “I’m…”

Impatient and happy, Ari interrupted, “you’re dada!”

And just like that, that easily and that innocently, Bucky’s heart belonged to his son. “Yeah, I’m dada,” he repeated, extending his hand at him and letting out a sob when the kid threw himself at him for a hug.

People said that there was no stronger connection and mix of feelings that the one you had with your mate on two occasions: when you first bonded, and when one of the partners was giving birth. Steve and Bucky felt the first, but the second hadn’t been possible.

However, Steve, that was seeing the beautiful moment from the outside, felt every good emotion flow, all the happiness, all the joy and contentment that Bucky was feeling, just like he had before, more than seven decades ago. And maybe it was the overload of them that had him crying and kneeling with the two loves of his life to hug them, and thank life for being able to have that especial moment.

“Don’t cry, dada,” Ari said backing a little to clean Bucky’s cheeks, “I’m here.”

Oh, man. The feelings. Bucky and Steve had never felt their hearts beat the way they were now, they bond pulse that much and the love flowing through being so pure. Maybe that’s what mates felt when they become parents, maybe that was the feeling they should’ve felt in 2012 while welcoming Ari to the world. It was late, Ari was far from a newborn, but it was their moment, it had finally arrived, and their family was finally reunited.

Steve and Bucky had no idea how much time they spent on the floor with Ari while he touched his dada’s face and remarked about his long hair or the fact that they had the same eye color. Then, during the snack they shared with Natalia and Ramonda, Bucky demonstrated how melted of love he was because he couldn’t stop looking at Ari, of carding his hand on his hair, beeping his nose to make him laugh or just caress his cheeks tenderly. It was amazing to see that Ari was as happy as him, he had hung to Bucky on their way back to the table, seated in his lap, and haven’t let go of him. Steve had to admit he was just a tiny bit jealous of the attention that Bucky was getting, but God, he had waited since he found out that Bucky was alive to see his mate and their son together, he couldn’t care less about jealousy.

Nat had already taken a picture of the three of them together and sent it to Wanda, Sam, and Clara, and that caused them all sent a thousand lines of heart emojis and audios of them screaming and celebrating.

Ari completely skipped his nap to play with his dada while auntie Nat did take the offer and left to sleep a few hours before dinner. The rest of the afternoon was spent in the gardens, where Bucky and Ari played, talked and let Steve take them pictures of their newly discovered adventures.

Steve was now seated on the grass, swiping on the photos he had taken and smiling. Bucky and Ari were… somewhere, he had lost sight of them 3 minutes ago but could still hear them talking and laughing in the close distance. They made their re-appearance a minute later, they both had their right hand behind their backs, which caused Steve to squint his eyes at them, what were they hiding?

“We got you something, mama!” Ari said excitedly, and no waiting for Steve to ask, he showed him his right hand, that had a bunch of white daisies, Steve's favorite flowers.

“Bubba! Are those for me?” he gasped, Ari nodded and Steve took them, but not before kissing Ari’s cheek with love. “Thank you so much, baby, it’s really kind of you.”

“Dada told me you liked them,” he confessed, sitting on his ma’s lap.

“Well, dada knows me well,”he said smiling at Bucky, who sat next to him as he spoke.

“I got you something, too,” Bucky told him and showed him a single daisy on his hand, “it’s just one, but I thought it would look perfect…” he tucked a strand of Steve’s hair behind his ear, and put the flower in there, too, “in here.”

Steve’s face was flaming hot, he smiled shyly at Bucky, to then move and put his body against his. Ari was amazed, he had never seen his mama so blushed and speechless, apparently, it was the effect his dada had on him because he never thought someone could be that red from a flower in their ear.

“Thanks, Buck…” Steve said kissing his cheek and resting his head on his shoulder, Bucky winked an eye at Ari and smiled at him, resting his head on Steve’s.

The sun started to go down slowly, and they didn’t move from the grass, the nice smell of the flowers and the green of the garden. It was still warm and nice, there was no rush in getting things done, so Steve and Bucky talked, spoiled Ari with kisses until it was time to go back inside, just in time for the big show. Steve knew he was supposed to wake up Nat, but they made a beeline straight to the balcony to show Ari the sunset properly.

Ari was still in Steve’s arms, watching fascinated the beautiful mix of colors that nature was causing, making both sides, the city and the jungle, look mesmerizingly captivating. It was Steve’s first time watching it from that point of view, so he was also admiring it, his mind storing the image for a future painting or drawing. Bucky, that had seen it countless times, was admiring his Omega and their son, their faces on the sunset light and their smiles when they shared a few whispered words. Maybe the time hasn’t been gentle with him, but he’ll do things all over again if this picture was what life had for him at the other side of the door. It was everything that he ever wanted and more.

Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist and kissed his forehead, “I think Ari is asleep,” he said softly.

“It was about time, I thought he was never going to run out of energy,” he said kissing Ari’s hair. “It was the adrenaline rush of meeting you, I had never seen him tire himself up like this without a nap,” he admitted, surprised but smiling.

“Poor guy, he’s going to sleep like a baby tonight.”

“He is…” Steve re-positioned Ari so he wouldn’t fall and caressed his back slowly.

“Steve?”

“Mhm?”

“I love you,” Bucky whispered, Steve’s inhaled deeply and smiled at him. There it was again, that bolt of energy running through his body, the effect that Bucky had on him.

“I love you, too, Buck,” he said back, smiling dopely, resting their foreheads together and turning a little to kiss him tenderly, feeling so happy that he could cry for the second time that day.

“Gross…” Ari whispered in between them with one eye cracked open.

“Sorry Bubba,” Steve laughed, coy that his son had watched in the front row their first real kiss.

Ari smiled slightly and went back to sleep soundly, Bucky smiled kissing him again and they stood they for a while, enjoying the cooling breeze and that little family moment.

Shuri arrived at the palace by dinner time, and oh damn, was she surprised to find Steve and Bucky kissing in the hallway, but she was even more surprised when they arrived at the table with a kid that called them mama and dada, and that also was the vivid image of Bucky.

Nakia and Okoye came back from a short mission that night also for dinner, and while Okoye and Nakia stared at Ari and Bucky, T’Challa hugged them and picked Ari in his arms, enchanted to meet the sweet kid that introduced himself by shaking hands.

Later at night, Ari was tucked in bed by both his parents for the first time in his life. His ma told him a love story from the past, of two mates that were separated for silly reasons, but that in the end always found a way back to each other. He couldn’t help but notice the way his parents looked at each other while his ma spoke, and while he thankfully didn’t see them kiss like before, he did feel their lips on his forehead before drifting off completely with a soft, “goodnight, Bubba, we love you.”

Ari’s room was connected to Steve’s by a door, so all they did to get there, was cross it, to then stare for a while at the bed.

“I can sleep in my room… I mean, not that I planned to sleep with you right away… and not that I don’t want to… but, I mean, we haven’t done it since the war and I thought you… why are you smiling like that?”

“Buck, we have lost enough time already, you’re welcome in the bed if you want to,” he told him and took off his t-shirt to look in his bag for pajama pants to put on, sticking his ass out more than necessary while doing it.

“Are you trying to… seduce me, Rogers?”

“Me?” he asked, now taking off his jeans and putting on the other pair of pants. “No, I’m just inviting you to bed, jerk, our son is sleeping next door and he would probably come in the middle of the night to snuggle between us, let’s not traumatize him, please”

“Good point,” was all Bucky said chucking and asking Steve for help to take off his scarf.

Bucky borrowed a pair of sweat pants from Steve and they collided in bed, in each other’s arms, enjoying the feeling of relaxing together, that was still foreign, but that they knew they’ll get used to it again. This time Steve took the role of the big spoon and kissed Bucky’s cheek a thousand times while he laughed softly, accepting them happily. Then he pressed their foreheads together when Bucky stirred to face him and sighed, smiling, joyful.

“I love you, Buck.”

“I love you, too, so much, Stevie.”

“Let’s sleep and enjoy this, I’m sure Ari is going to separate us to sleep between us.”

Bucky laughed again and nodded, kissing him on the lips one last time, to later return to his previous position and sleep soundly in Steve’s arms.

Just as predicted, in the middle of their sleep, Bucky woke up exalted when he felt someone taking Steve’s arms from him. His sudden fear was reduced to zero at the sight of sleepy Ari trying to get to his ma’s chest, and smiled lazily at him, moving so he could get through them and accommodate to Steve’s position. Bucky put his arm around him and felt Steve’s arm returning to hold him but landing in his arm that was in Ari. He smiled through the cloud of sleep and put his head back on the pillow.

Sleeping without Steve felt wrong and sleeping under cryo wasn’t that nice, but that night, Bucky could truly sleep in peace. Maybe it was because he had the love of his life at arms reach, or because their son was sleeping next to him, because even asleep he felt the happiest he had ever been.

In all his time as the Winter Soldier, Bucky had been afraid of waking up. Two days ago he had woken up to keep living in the village, doing his job, helping the gentle people that had helped him, with no further plans than avoiding Steve. Now Bucky couldn’t wait to wake, to share his days with his mate and their Ari, to surround them with love, to make future plans. Plans that may include a white picket fence and a College degree. In the ’30s and ’40s, that plan would've been crazy, however, at this moment, it was Bucky’s possible future, and honestly, he couldn’t wait to wake up and start living it. 


	4. The sun will return and you come back down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, galerinha!!! Did you remember that I told you in advance that the last chapter was the longest I've written? Well, scratch that, welcome to the longest chapter so far... I think 😂🤭

To Steve and Ari, after spending two entire weeks reunited with Bucky, it was hard to say goodbye to Wakanda and to him. So they didn’t.

In exchange for the team working with some especial agents and teams of the Hatut Zeraze, Wakanda’s intelligence division, T’Challa had let Nat, Ari and Steve stay, and also bring Wanda, Sam, and Clara to the Golden City.

When November came, Ari turned 5, and for the first time, his dada was there with him, his ma and his aunts and uncle Sam for the family picture. They made a small celebration that Ramonda organized a nice house in the outskirts of town, and given the fact that Ari had started Day Care in September to make him socialize, he had a few friends over to celebrate and play with. Luckily for Steve and Bucky, there were several Wakandans diplomats that fell in love with people from other countries and that came back from their diplomatic missions with their partners and children, so a white kid with brown hair didn’t call the attention that much.

Steve had been worried that Ari wasn’t going to develop normal social skills because he hadn’t been around children that much, and to make sure his son was growing fine, he hired a psychologist that had a few sessions with him. She assured him that Ari was as normal as a toddler could be, and he showed just that by making the friends he had invited to his birthday party.

Bucky had cried when the clock marked that it was November 21st, cried again at breakfast while kissing Ari like his life depended on it, and cried even more at the moment of singing the happy birthday. Steve was an emotional mother on Ari’s birthdays, but he had to admit that Bucky had cried more than he had cried on the last 4 birthdays combined. He didn’t blame him though, it was the first time that he was there, he was in his entire right to cry all he wanted. Besides, every time that Ari caught his dada’s eyes getting wet with tears, he went to him to hug him, give him kisses on the cheek and tell him he loved him.

Returning to the psychologists' topic, Bucky had started his sessions to complement his free brain, to help him re-adapt to the new life he had, the one that sometimes had him convinced that he was still asleep. And along with that, Steve had returned to them as well, he hadn’t talked to a therapist since he had left the Compound to travel to London, and he was never officially discharged, so his mind was trying not to fall apart without the help that the sessions had brought him. They were definitely working their ways to be more mentally healthy for themselves, for one another and for Ari.

The Holiday season was spent between missions, the team joined an especial group of intelligence to take down a human trafficking organization outside the borders, and that had kept them busy.

During this time of Bucky mostly babysitting Ari with Clara while the team worked, he had reunited with a group of experts to evaluate his situation in the world. He didn’t want Steve and his friends —that now were also his, although the jury was still out about Sam— to hide forever because of him, or for Ari to continue to be raised while on the run.

They had advised him that the right thing to do, was to turn himself into the International Criminal Court. The pros were way more dense than the cons, for example, the Hatut Zeraze had swiped Hydra’s location in Siberia, and found more than enough proof to prove that Bucky was innocent. The process of getting testimonies wasn’t going to be that hard or long as it usually was because after the fall of Hydra in D.C. a couple of years ago, most of the generals and other army members were considered international criminals to be judged by the ICC, and even some of them had already gotten their sentences. Bucky’s advisors speculated that his trial was going to last a year, tops. And because he trusted them and wanted to do what was right, he decided to go with it.

He dropped the bomb on Steve before Christmas, and for being a big step to take and a big risk to assume, Bucky thought he was going to be furious. Surprisingly, Steve showed nothing but support for his decision. The rest of the team and Shuri did, too. Of course, there was an unspoken fear of things not going as expected… but there was no way of knowing the course of things until they happened. 

Bucky turned himself in, in papers, during the first days of 2018. The Court agreed to take his case and because he was in political asylum, he wasn’t asked to go there for the beginning of the trial, although he was expected to be there for his final sentence.

The search for testimonies began right away, as well as the investigation of the documents that the Wakandan government had handed to the Court.

While this happened, Steve also ‘reunited’ with Tony via Skype. Seemed like the waters had calmed, and he was willing to let things behind after Bucky’s trial, and accept back the team, to then get a fruitful agreement with the United Nations so they could continue their ‘Avengers adventures’ like Tony had called them. 

The year passed full with anxiousness, missions, Bucky’s 101st birthday celebration, love birds acting like teenagers, updates on the investigation of the ICC, Steve’s 100 birthday, more calls with Tony for the upcoming negotiations, and posterior to Ari’s 6th birthday, the ICC put a date on the sentence of the trial: February 12th.

That year’s holiday season was tense and spent with more intensity than the previous one. They didn’t know if that was the last time that Bucky was going to celebrate with everyone, everybody was worried but also not to make Ari worry or suspect, even more, they all played it cool.

Every night Bucky held and made love to Steve like if it really was the last time he was going to do it, like in a way to savor what he was going to be denied of when he spent the rest of his life in prison. He did it with Ari, too, he hugged him at every opportunity he got, he kissed him and played with him, helped him with homework and napped with him in his chest. He couldn’t believe that his family was going to be taken away if the whole trial thing went wrong, and it wasn’t fair, he had been with Steve and Ari only for a year and a few months. He deserved more than that if taking into account the other years he had lost with them. However, he had taken the step of trying to become a free man, and there was no turning back.

The first kiss of 2019 that Steve gave him at midnight was in tears. The final sentence date was getting closer and closer, and even if they knew that Bucky was innocent, they didn’t know how he was being judged, if the testimonies and documents had truly been enough.

When the day finally arrived, Bucky was dressed in formal Wakandan attire with a blue scarf, his newly trimmed but still too long hair in a bun and fear and his eyes. The team had to stay in Wakanda and watch the entire thing online, but Bucky wasn’t going alone, T’Challa, Nakia, Shuri, Ramonda, and Okoye were going with him, it didn’t matter anymore that the world find out where he had been hiding, he was in his civilian right of asylum, and T’Challa wasn’t going to face any consequences for that.

It was early in the morning, the sun was already high in the sky, and Bucky was sitting on his favorite balcony with Ari in his lap, talking to him about being a good boy, loving his mama, eating his veggies and study hard, like if it was a goodbye. Steve found them laughing at something that Bucky had said and watched from the door for a minute. He refused to believe that it was the last day they were going to have together. He refused to accept any other sentence to his Alpha than innocent.

“Bubba, I think auntie Nat was looking for you,” Steve said walking to them.

“I’ll go!” Ari exclaimed jumping off his dada’s legs and receiving his ma’s kiss on the cheek before running to find Nat.

“Hey buddy,” Bucky said opening his arm, inviting Steve to sit whereAri had been. Steve smiled weakly and took the offer.

“Hey yourself…” Steve kissed him slowly and positioned his hands on every side of Bucky’s face, to then caress his cheekbones with his thumbs.

“I was saying goodbye…”

“Buck, don’t say that…”

“I’m being realistic, anything can happen,” he admitted, “and if it happens, I won’t be allowed to come back, you know that…”

“I know…” answered Steve pressing their foreheads together, sighing in defeat. “I won’t let them keep you, you know that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“If things don’t go as planned, I’m gonna plan something to take you out.”

“No, don’t you dare,” Bucky protested. “If they lock me, let me there, try to take Ari to visit me, make things right with Howard’s son so you can go visit me, too… don’t do anything you’ll regret, please.”

“You won’t be here to stop me,” Steve protested back, a playful smirk started to appear on his lips.

“You’re a punk, and I love you, you’re my punk,” Bucky stated proudly, and added, “but if you do something that compromises Ari’s relationship with me and his chances of visiting me, I’m gonna kill you.”

Steve laughed softly, hid his face on Bucky’s neck and didn’t move for the next minutes, he just breathed in his mate’s scent while he rubbed his back. They remembered doing that the night they found out Bucky was being drafted, in the comfortableness of their bed, with Steve’s head on Bucky’s chest, his arms and legs around him like an octopus, and Bucky brushing his hair with his fingers and his other hand caressing his back. Bucky promised that he was coming back, that he wasn’t going to leave him alone. Obviously that promise would’ve been broken if Steve didn’t become Captain America and rescued him from the hands of Hydra in 1943.

“I love you, Stevie,” Bucky whispered looking again for the reassuring touch of their foreheads, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” he said taking his face out of the hiding to satisfy Bucky’s wish, “I love you.”

With the clock ticking and the jet ready to depart, Steve, with Ari next to him, shared kisses and a long hug with Bucky at the take off site, refusing to call the hugs their lasts. Nat, Wanda, Sam, and Clara were also there to hug him and give him their unconditional support no matter what happened in The Hague, where he was going to listen the sentence.

Bucky waved at Ari once he was seated in the window seat in the jet and gave him a big smile. If his son was going to remember him, he rather he did it that way, and as a not a sad, anxious father, like he was feeling on the inside.

In comparison to the warm and sunny weather of the Golden City, there was rain falling in the Netherlands, and while the Wakandans and Bucky made their way to the entry of the ICC, their outfits stood up among the gloomy, gray day. Bucky was wearing black for his pants, shoes, and tunic, but his scarf was blue, T’Challa was wearing a similar outfit, Okoye and Nakia were wearing matching blue dresses, and Shuri and Ramonda had gone for white dresses and blue blazers. The blue on their outfits wasn’t random. Blue meant a lot of things, including hope, faith, calmness, goodness and _freedom_, the one that Bucky was really aching to get.

The last session of the trial was scheduled to begin at 9:00 am, and by 8:55 am, after a few minutes in a private room with the people that had come with him, Bucky was asked to follow the guards to the Courtroom. Shuri and Okoye were the first ones to hug him and give him encouraging words, Ramonda was next, and T’Challa gave him a manly hug, along with a: “it will be alright, brother.”

The Wakandan family stayed at their private viewing room because they couldn’t be in the Courtroom, and watched how at 9 am sharp, the transmission of the trial began.

Steve was biting his nails in Sam’s room, the one selected for the team to watch the session, that started off normally and according to protocols. There were a few testimonies that were read out loud, others that were said by the Hydra agents themselves, that let the cameraman focusing on Bucky’s painful expression. He recalled all the things that those people were talking about, all they had done to him, and he was trying hard not to show how it was affecting him to listen to them.

That entire and agonizing process lasted 6 long hours. When the judges decided to take a break before reading the final sentence, Bucky was left in a cell for an hour, alone with his thoughts and fears.

He thought of not seeing Ari again, of not seeing him grow up like he had done that last year. Of Steve, of not sharing anything with him anymore, of not being there to help him raise Ari, of breaking the promise of a better future together once again. Of Shuri, his little sister, the one that had made sure he was free from Hydra and then stole his heart with her kindness. Of Natalia and Wanda, of not having breading sessions at night that then transformed into full hair sessions to help him deal with the length of it. Of Sam, that bastard that he had come to adore and that meant so much to Steve and Ari, that bastard that had been through thick and thin with his Omega and that was willing to give his life for him at any time. Of Ramonda, his third mother and guidance after Ari appeared on his life, of her advice on what to do with his son, with his life. Of T’Challa, of course, he would’ve been dead for a long time now if it wasn’t for his hospitality and offer of asylum. He even thought of Clara, the woman that also gave him advice on Ari when she noticed he was a little lost on some topics and that had been in Steve’s and Ari’s life since Ari was a few weeks old, protecting him in safe houses and on the run with the team.

If he wasn’t innocent, he was going to miss them all. He was going to have to say goodbye to his dreams, to his studies, to his future career, to the white picket fence with Steve and Ari. On the bright side, that it was kinda hard to see in a moment like that... if he was declared innocent, he was going to have all those things and more, he was going to make sure of that, he wanted to make his family proud of him.

While those positive thoughts were slowly making their way to Bucky’s brain, the guards returned to take him back to the Courtroom, and he felt like he was going to be sick at any time.

The judges were back on their respective places, some of them were putting their headphones on to listen to the translation of what was going to be read. Bucky had his own, but he didn’t use them, the judge was French but as expected, spoke advanced English very well. He stood up with a sigh and swallowed hard, getting ready for listening to his future.

“The Winter Soldier’s crimes,” the judge started to say about a minute later. “As everyone may know, those were political assassinations committed by Hydra’s best weapon. As some of Hydra agents have told us, he ‘shaped the century’ by killing people the organization considered a threat. From agents of Secret Services, soldiers, scientists, senators, and generals, to Howard and Maria Stark, the Winter Soldier killed a number of people enough to be considered a criminal, although just one would’ve been plenty for an accusation.”

Bucky was looking at the floor on the center of the Courtroom, he still remembered every one of his victims, he knew that there were more people than the ones the judge had numbered, and he had to breathe deep to recompose and get ready for a life sentence.

“Here is the crucial point of why we took the decision we made,” the man put on his glasses, reading the papers on his hands, “those crimes were committed by the Winter Soldier, a human weapon created in Hydra facilities by violating all crimes of war and some against humanity. For this reason, the Hydra members that participated or were involved in some form in the Winter Soldier Project will have a raise in their sentence, passing from what they are, to life sentences.”

Bucky looked up, surprise evident on his face. The press and public room a few floors down went crazy, a little sparkle of hope made an appearance in the private room and in the Wakandan Palace.

Then the man continued reading, “something this chamber would like to make noticeable, is the fact that the crimes were _not_ committed by James Buchanan Barnes, but for the Winter Soldier, a weapon that is no longer in use, a weapon that has healed and decided to, bravely, turn himself in, a weapon that is now a free man.” The judge looked up for a moment, locked eyes with Bucky and resumed the reading. “That’s why we agreed on the fact that James Buchanan Barnes was a victim of international crimes committed by the Nazi organization Hydra, by being held a prisoner of war that was forced in the worst of ways, brainwashed to serve the organization he was fighting against prior to his capture. He was a victim of biological experimentation, torture and inhuman treatment, a victim of unlawful transfer and confinement. Those were just the crimes of war committed against him, now moving into crimes against humanity, Sergeant Barnes was a victim of enslavement, torture, imprisonment and severe deprivation of physical liberty in violation of fundamental rules of international law, by being held inside a Cryostasis chamber, frozen in time until Hydra could use him as a weapon when they pleased. It is also worth mentioning the inhumane acts of intentional character to cause him great suffering, serious injury to body or to mental or physical health, that were used to turn him into the infamous Winter Soldier. If any of you is surprised to know what this man had been through, think that it wasn’t just for a couple of years. Mr. Barnes was the longest prisoner of war in History, he was taken, experimented on and then rescued back in 1943. In 1944 Hydra took him back, and he was under their full control until 2014. That’s 69 long, suffered and horrible years.”

Bucky’s eyes were filled with tears as the man spoke, a gigantic knot on his throat and a second away from crying in front of the world’s eyes. His face was all the screens were showing, Steve wanted to punch his way to the courtroom to be by his side and remind him they were together till the end of the line.

“For all this, this chamber sentences that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, is _innocent_ of the charges that brought him into this court.” The press viewing room went even crazier than before, people were screaming, people were shouting on their phones, reporters talking loudly to cameras because of the commotion. “Mr. Barnes was a clear victim, and the International Criminal Court makes the bad people pay, not their victims, especially those who were held against their will and denied of their freedom for almost seven decades.”

All the judges stood up, Bucky blinked in disbelief, still shocked and followed the guards that had brought him to the courtroom. On the way to the same private room as before, he started to sniff to prevent him from crying, but when Ramonda hugged him the moment he stepped in the viewing room they were in, he couldn’t contain it. He hid his face on her neck and let the tears fall, his eyes shut and mouth letting out a few sobs.

“It’s over, Bucky, it’s over…” she whispered at his ear while he felt a hand going up and down his back, that he could tell it was Shuri’s. He incorporated her to the hug and his tears were wiped off by Nakia, who also hugged him with tears of her own, followed by T’Challa’s hug.

“It’s over now, no more hiding, no more guilt, you’re a free man, brother,” he told him patting his back, then putting his hand on the back of Bucky’s neck to hug him better and let him cry on his shoulder. Okoye walked to them and whispered a few words in Xhosa to him, to calm him down while swallowing her own tears.

In Wakanda, Sam was jumping up and down like a kid and throwing his hands in the air, while Nat cried with Steve and Wanda did her best to comfort both of them. When Ari walked into the room, attracted by Sam’s yelling, he ran to his ma and auntie Nat to hug them. He had no idea what was happening, but whenever there were tears, Ari’s heart of gold made him want to comfort whoever the crying person was.

“I wanna go home,” Bucky cried, now fully wrapped around Shuri’s arms, “I wanna go home, please.”

“Of course, Buck, we’ll be on our way soon,” Shuri said at the verge of tears, “we’ll get you home.”

The media outside the Court was going insane. Bucky couldn’t make his way out of the main door because of that, and instead, they all had to get on the cars in the garage, on the entry there were a few photographers yelling questions and getting pictures of that moment. A few pictures at the distance of Bucky with red eyes and Shuri passing him tissue papers as they walked to the cars made their way to the press and were already making headlines in the sites of international newspapers while they boarded the jet.

The short hours of the flight Bucky spent them trying to believe what had happened, if he was still dreaming or if he was going to wake up and get ready for the trial.

But no, it had happened.

The word _innocent _was replaying over and over in his head. _Innocent,_ the judge had said. He was _innocent_ to the eyes of the world, he was no longer an international criminal, a wanted person. Bucky was finally free. Free of Hydra, free of the weight of the Winter Soldier crimes. He could now live his life as he wanted, with Ari, with Steve, studying, getting his degree, working along with Shuri. He was going to do all those things and more, so much more. He was going to work hard to get all the things he had promised to Steve in the past, he was going to spoil his son and his Omega rotten, he was going to provide for them, make them proud, make them happy.

There were no dry eyes in the landing site when Steve with Ari in his arms, practically ran to Bucky and hugged like there was no tomorrow. Then Sam had to ruin the moment a little by running to them and wrap his arms around them, crying, relieved that he still had more Bucky to bother. Nat and Wanda joined quickly after him, with tears of their own and big smiles, too.

Ari, that was enjoying the family hug, oblivious, raised his arms and yelled, “Family assembled!”

It was already 11 pm when Bucky and Steve got some alone time for themselves. Ari had passed out an hour ago and they had tucked him in bed as usual, with a lot of kisses on the cheeks and forehead until he covered his head with the cover and asked them to leave.

And before that, they had had dinner with everyone in celebration, avoiding the serious talk about what was next on the agenda: the negotiation with Tony for a new agreement with the UN so the team could also be free. But there was going to be time for that later, all of them had been stressed since last year when Bucky turned himself in, and with all that heavyweight lifted, what was left in return was bright new future, and everyone focused on that.

Bucky and Steve laid together in bed, Steve was with his head on his chest, smile permanent on his lips, listening to Bucky’s heart beating while he carded his fingers in his golden hair.

“Seems like my plan B of taking you out isn’t needed,” Steve joked kissing his cheek tenderly.

“Plan A stands still, Stevie,” Bucky answered chuckling.

“Plan A?”

“Live happily ever after, you, me and Ari.”

Steve dopey smile said everything that he couldn’t speak, he just kissed him with love, positioned better and climbed higher to straddle Bucky’s waist and rest his hands on each side of his head. However, there was something that Steve had committed to, he wanted to get it out as soon as possible, but now Bucky’s hand traveling down his back wasn’t helping on thinking rationally.

He thought of maybe postpone the talk till the next day… but he couldn’t, he had agreed with his therapist to do it that same day, and he had to commit.

“Bucky… Buck wait,” he breathlessly whispered between kisses.

“What’s the matter, babe? Are you ok?”

Oh. Yes. Bucky had started to call him _babe_ a long time ago, thanks to Shuri and Wanda being behind them telling him that it was the way that couples referred to their significant other in this century. The first time had been weird, nobody ever called Steve ‘babe’, so naturally, he put on the strangest expression on his face, making Bucky quickly explain what Shuri and Wanda had told him. Now it had the same effect that Ari calling him ‘mama’ or Bucky calling him ‘my love’, it made his heart beat faster, his cheeks blush and feel lucky to have them both in his life.

“Yeah… I just need to talk to you about something that I promised my therapist I’d tell you if you came back…”

“Oh, ok,” Bucky said trying to go back to sitting position on the bed. Since both of them were in therapy, they took very seriously the advises the doctors gave them, and that included talking about things of the past, insecurities of the present, and realistic plans for the future. “What is it about, my love?”

Steve, that was transferred to Bucky’s thighs for more comfortableness, was trying to go through his mental anagram of the way he had planned on telling Bucky about a very sensitive time that a few people knew about. God, not even Sam knew it, nor Vision, nor Wanda, just the people that had been around him at the time, that had kindly kept their mouths shut on the topic for a long time. It had been a very private thing after all, but Steve was thankful that they all had some kind of silent agreement between them to not talk about it with other people.

Steve had planned on breathing in and out, calm himself not to cry, and explain everything smoothly. But at the mere thought of all that, he felt his eyes water and Bucky getting worried for his expression, and for the stress he was transmitting through the bond.

“Stevie? Are you ok? Are you sure you want to talk about it now?”

He inhaled deeply and nodded after exhaling. They locked eyes and Steve nodded again as reinsurance to himself. “I haven’t told you all the truth on how everything was when I was defrosted and it’s been eating me inside…”

“Tell me, I’m all ears,” Bucky whispered making circles on Steve’s waist. “I won’t love you less because of that.”

There it was, Steve’s biggest reason and fear not to speak of it. “You don’t know that yet…”

“Tell me,” he repeated, “tell me and let me be the judge of that, baby…”

Steve nodded one last time, blinked twice to make the water in his eyes disappear and started to confess.

“When I was defrosted, Fury made sure to reintegrate me into the world. He got me an apartment in Brooklyn, gadgets that he insisted that everyone used, money in my account, I could do whatever I wanted to catch on the things I had missed. But I… I wasn’t ok… I… I missed you. I had never been without you knowing that you wouldn’t come back, or that we couldn’t find or way back together… but in every History book I read, every file report, every place I consulted in, and everyone I spoke to, they said you were dead, and that it was time for me to move on from that… but I couldn’t.”

Bucky’s heart was already broken and Steve had just started. It was logical, which mate wanted to hear that their partner had needed them and they weren’t there?

“I felt guilt… that-that you were not there but I was. I spent most of the time crying, in bed, missing you… I stopped drawing, taking walks, going to the gym, exploring the city, forgetting to eat… I-I was a mess,” Steve admitted in tears. “Then the Alien invasion happened and being with the team brought me back for a couple of days… it kept me busy, centered in a goal and with my mind out of my demons. I moved to the tower with them, I got my own floor, a big place that I didn’t know what to fill it in with… and I started to truly realize that I was alone, that the last time I had seen you, you were falling right in front of my eyes… I became to realize that you were definitely not coming back… and I couldn’t take it, Buck, it was too much for me to handle.”

Bucky listened carefully with a slowly forming knot on his throat, “I understand…”

“I… I didn’t eat… for days, weeks… when I couldn’t even get up I promised myself that I was going to eat something, but then I couldn’t get the spoon or fork to get into my mouth. I lost a lot of weight, my body weakened… even though the team was there to make sure I ate or to keep me company… I was giving up, slowly. I didn’t want to live like that… so I…,” Bucky wiped Steve’s wet cheeks and his heart stopped at what he could say next, “I-I tried to kill myself, Buck. I took a bunch of pills, I slit my arms…” he turned around his forearms and took Bucky’s hand to pass it over the slight scar tissue that remained in both of them. Bucky now silently cried along with him. “I was dead for a few minutes… Bruce and his friend Helen brought me back.”

“Stevie…”

“They offered me help after that. I denied it, I was willing to try again, to make it work… and one day Nat tricked me into going to have a check-up on my organs to see if they were recovering normally. Helen, the doctor, already knew that my body was recovering from the intoxication just right, it was what the serum was designed to do… but she thought that it was a great excuse to let her… inspect, something else. She pretended to check me… and then she made me listen to something slow and weak and… and she told me it was the heartbeat of my pup,” Steve remembered sniffling. “I-I was too busy thinking of a way to die, that I didn’t realize I was pregnant.”

“Not your fault, Steve…” Bucky said soothingly, his own cheeks looking like a waterfall, “you had never been pregnant before, there was no way you could’ve known…”

Steve’s body suddenly began to shake at his crying, he covered his face with his hands and let Bucky hug him. There it was, another secret Steve had kept from him and it was time for it to see the light, right there while he cried in Bucky’s shoulder. “I had…”

“You had?” Bucky asked, surprised and shocked.

“I had…” Steve admitted. “Just once… in 1941, after the doctor told us I wasn’t fertile… you didn’t realize because it wasn’t abnormal for me to be sick, and I didn’t tell you because I knew it wasn’t going to last… I was weak, I could barely make it through winter, I could never carry a pup to full term.”

“How… how long were you when…?”

“Maybe by the end of the first trimester... I was approximately a month and a half when my ma’s friend first checked me, and it took a few more weeks till it happened…”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You took all the pain, I could’ve been there for you…”

“I didn’t want to make you upset… but then I made you anyway at the doctor’s office, I’m sorry.”

Bucky dried his tears by rubbing his face on Steve’s t-shirt and swallowed hard before speaking, “there’s nothing to be sorry about, my love.”

“Ari was almost fifteen weeks when Helen told me…” Steve continued, “he was weak, as I was. His heartbeat wasn’t that good to be considered healthy, my serum had been keeping him alive in the ice and even when I didn’t eat… but despite knowing the pain of losing a pup before, and knowing that it may be the last piece of you that I had, I asked the doctor to schedule an abortion,” he said in a whisper. “They arranged it to be soon to make it legally, and during the time between Helen telling me, and the date, I began to doubt. When the day arrived, I couldn’t do it. You weren’t there to help me go through the pregnancy, the birth or the pup’s life like I ideally would’ve wanted it to be, but I couldn’t get rid of him… I loved him since the doctor told me I was carrying him, I thought that by getting the abortion I was saving him from a life with a mess of a mother… until I opened my eyes and saw that I wasn’t alone, that my friends had actually offered me help… and I decided to take it.”

“Thank God…”

“Pepper and Tony got me a whole team of doctors to help me, psychologists, nutritionists, psychiatrists… and slowly I started to eat again, to do yoga with Nat, take long walks with Clint, speak to Bruce, watch movies and listen to music with Tony when he knew I had had a hard day, train with Thor… Ari’s heartbeat improved with time, he grew optimally healthy and according to the books, while I got ready to welcome him reading articles, binge-watching videos of births and breathing exercises with Nat, buying clothes, a crib, bottles…”

“I bet you looked beautiful,” Bucky commented to lighten the mood.

“I looked like a planet,” was Steve’s response. He didn’t have pictures of those months, or the videos and photos of Ari’s birth and early years because he had abandoned his StarkPhone in the Quinjet in Siberia, he knew that Tony would’ve found a way to make it a GPS to them if he had kept it.

“A beautiful planet,” Bucky said back, making Steve slightly smile.

“Hmmm, shut up, sap,” the Alpha kissed Steve’s hair lovingly.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”

“I was terrified that you’ll love me less… Alpha never takes it very well when Omegas try to get rid of their pups…”

“I could never hate you or love you less, Stevie, I understand what you went through and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and how you took care of Ari when I couldn’t be with you two,” he broke the embrace to look at him in the eyes again, “I love you, thank you for trusting me with that part of your life that I didn’t know, I appreciate you even more now, I knew you were strong but your strength always surprises me.”

“Sap,” Steve repeated smiling, a few tears still on his eyes, “I love you… thank you for listening to me and not hating me…”

“I love you, too, baby, I could never stop doing it, you’re my everything.” Steve smiled letting his head fall to Bucky’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck securely. “What if we sleep and let the other loving activities for tomorrow?”

Bucky heard Steve made a sound that sounded like an agreement, so he went back to lay on his back, laughing with Steve because he wasn’t losing the Koala hold he had on him. They kissed goodnight after climbing underneath the covers and without any worries for one night, they slept in each other's arms.

A week later, Bucky was fresh out of the operation room, he had gotten his new arm transplanted. Shuri had made a lot of prototypes in the last year, Bucky had tested them and gotten them off while giving her his feedback. Shuri had had this one ready for a few weeks now, but she didn’t tell Bucky because the PR team told them that if the world saw that he had a new and better arm than the Winter Soldier one, whatever the final sentence was, they weren’t going to like it. So at the moment, Bucky was waking up to find Steve at his side, reading a magazine, unaware that his mate was awake, watching him with a sleepy smile on his face.

“On your right…” he whispered.

“Did Sam tell you to say that?” Steve said back without taking his eyes out of the magazine.

“Once a punk, always a punk…”

Steve chuckled finally leaving the paper behind and turned to Bucky.He had his hair sprawled around his head and he looked tired, but for Steve, he always looked handsome. “Are you in pain?” he asked extending his arm, his hand barely touching Bucky’s face.

“Nah… the drugs are good in here,” Bucky answered trying to lean to Steve’s touch, which he did, sighing in comfort while doing it so. “What do think?” he asked giving his new arm a glance.

“It’s beautiful, sleek and modern, not like the other one,” Steve contemplated the new black and gold arm made out Vibranium, with no stars or political signs, it was just an arm for an amputee. It was perfect. “Although it makes me sad that you won’t ask me for help to do your hair, now you can do it yourself.”

“Well, to be fair, it may take a few days before I get the hold on how you did it,” they chuckled, Bucky smiled and kissed Steve’s palm, “don’t worry, I will still require your help for a few days.”

Steve smiled at him and started to inspect the new arm. It was the most amazing craftsman work he had seen, it wasn’t heavy like the Winter Soldier’s arm, it was the right size and weight of what Bucky’s flesh arm would’ve been like if he still had it. It wasn’t cold either, it ran according to Bucky’s body temperature. The shoulder that was metal had also been replaced by black and gold Vibranium, the doctors had made sure to leave absolutely nothing of what Hydra had put on Bucky. It was amazing.

“Why the long face? Something went wrong?” Bucky questioned noticing that Steve may be smiling a bit, but through the bond, he could feel his happiness mixed with anxiety.

“No, no… Shuri said everything went ok, you can go home tomorrow…”

“So…”

“Tony called,” Bucky’s eyebrows raised to his hairline, “he said everything is ready for us to go to the Compound and have the meeting.”

“Ok…”

“He wants me to bring Ari, they hadn’t seen each other since 2016.”

“Logical, he talks a lot about uncle Tony…”

“And he wants you to go, too.”

So that was the reason Steve was feeling bitter despite his surgery going as planned. Well, Bucky understood, he had his motives, the last time the three of them had been together, Tony was trying to kill them both and they hadn’t stood there, they had fought back. It led to Steve and his friends, with Ari and Clara on tow, to be on the run for 3 years, going for 4. That wasn’t all, they were proclaimed international criminals, people wanted by the entire world, while Tony and his part of the team was seen as the good ones. But hey, it looked like the man had come to his senses and apparently was actually willing to get his Avengers back, ‘for the sake of the world’, he had said.

Bucky also knew that Steve was ok with the video calls, but he was nervous about leaving Wakanda, finding out that Tony had set them up and ending up in The Raft. If that happened, Bucky and Ari would still be safe in Wakanda, Ari was an innocent child and his father had just been declared, there was nothing the authorities could do to harm them. The true issue though was trust. Steve didn’t know if he could fully trust Tony yet and that was his problem.

“We’ll go with you,” Bucky spoke clearly, “if it’s a trap, we’ll leave before he can see you, if not, things can go the right way, Stevie,” he said to calm him. “No more hiding, no more on the run… what do you think? You’ll take Ari’s and my company to Upstate New York?”

Steve sighed, gave Bucky a concerned look, but nodded. “Ok… we’ll go.”

And they did.

Two weeks after Bucky’s surgery, the team along with Bucky and Ari was on a Wakandan jet, that had the coordinates set to the Avengers Compound, or well, to Vision, Tony and Rhodey’s Compound.

Ari was beyond excited, he couldn’t wait to see his uncles again, to see his old room and retrieve a few books and toys he had left in there, to wander around uncle Tony’s lab, to hear auntie Pepper’s calming voice and eat her pancakes. Bucky would never admit it, but he was excited as well. Just that on his side, it was because he knew he was up to a tour courtesy of his Ari, that was going to drag him all over the place and tell him stories of when he lived there.

On the other hand, the team was tense. Sam was with his arms crossed, staring at the floor and serious as hell, and if you knew Sam, he was never serious. Wanda was biting her nails while watching the sky, and Nat was telling her to quit it, that she was going to regret it later. Steve was walking around, also biting his nails and gently ignoring Ari talking about what he planned to take from his old room, or which places he was going to show to Bucky.

Nat gave him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulders and suggested him to sit down, they only had 10 more minutes before their arrival.

In the Compound, Tony wasn’t alone but was pacing as much as Steve was. He was with Vision, Rhodey, Peter, Happy, Pepper, Thor, and Bruce. Thor and Bruce had returned surprisingly the previous day, Thor with short hair, a missing eye and without his hammer but with a new badass looking axe, and Bruce by his side, thankful that they had made it back to Earth to get the Asgardians to safety, and of course, to reunite with the team. Just that they found out that there was no longer a team. There were the remaining Avengers who worked to the United Nations orders, and the rouge Avengers, that worked where the United Nations hadn’t let the other team do their work.

Both Thor and Bruce had shown how upset they were. They thought they were coming back home, to the team, to their favorite nephew Ari, to live all in peace, not to a broken team and not knowing where the rest of the Avengers were. They were naturally relieved when Vision told them that Steve had accepted to go to the Compound to talk things through before announcing that they wanted to modify the Sokovia Accords.

They were all together in the common living room, drinking coffee and hot cocoa, eating cakes, speaking lightly and catching up when Friday informed them that a ship was entering the premises of the Compound.

They all stood up, abandoned their pieces of food or mugs with a warm drink, and watched how the black jet landed majestically on the landing zone. Thor and Bruce were the first ones to run outside to welcome their friends, followed closely behind by the rest of them.

The ramp of the jet opened slowly, showing Steve’s team alined one next to the other. They were expecting to see Tony, Vision, Rhodey, not to see…

“Thor?!” Sam, Steve, and Wanda exclaimed.

“Bruce?” Nat asked, at that same time, Bruce just started running to her without warning, and she didn’t know why, but her legs imitated the act, making them found each other in the middle and making them hug the other like there was no tomorrow. 

Ari, that was behind Steve, gasped loudly and grabbed Bucky’s hand to drag him out the shadows and off the ramp. “Dada look! That’s my uncle Thor!”

“My friends! My little Midgardian!” Thor yelled running to Ari and scooping him into his arms, “oh, so heavy, you’re a growing boy!”

Ari giggled and sat comfortably in the strong arms of his uncle. “Where were you, uncle Thor? I haven’t seen you in years!”

“Well, you know, a King is busy and…”

“And why are you using a pirates patch? And what happened to your hair? Oh, oh, where’s Mjolnir?”

Thor laughed, “I have a thousand stories to tell you, Ari, some of them you wouldn’t even believe them, but I’ll save them for bedtime later, alright?”

“Alright!” Ari said enthusiastically, “dada! Come say hi to uncle Thor!”

As far as Thor was concerned, Ari called Steve his ma, did that mean that the good Captain had found a new lover? The answer answered itself by looking at the man that Ari was calling dada. He was the man on the pictures and the videos he had seen in years prior, with longer hair, a beard and an amazing black and gold arm, but it was him, it was Steve’s Bucky.

“Oh, Sergeant Barnes!” Thor exclaimed throwing his available arm to Bucky’s shoulder to hug him as they had been friends their entire lives, “so nice to finally meet you!”

“Just Bucky… and thank you, Thor, Lord of Thunder, it nice meeting you, too,” Bucky smiled while fangirling on the inside, after all the stories Ari had told him, he was enchanted by the strong blonde man.

“Man! Where have you been all this time?!” Sam yelled coming to them and hugging Thor manly with a few pats on the back.

“Oh, it’s a long story, my Bird friend, I’ll tell you all later, I promise!” he said and walked to Steve and Wanda.

“Not a word, Barnes, not a word!” Sam warned him when he saw that Bucky was two seconds away from laughing out loud.

“Why not, Bird friend?” he laughed loudly and put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m so calling you that.”

“No, you are not!”

With all the happy reunion going on in the ramp, the rest of the party was watching uncomfortably from the land. Wanda made her way through her friends to jog to Vision and hug him with a big smile, and then say hi to Pepper, that was waiting for her with open arms.

Steve saw that scene and sighed, he made his way down to where the others were and shared a short hug with Vision. “Who are you?” he asked the young kid standing next to him.

“I’m Peter, Mr. America… I mean, Cap… Steve, Rogers,” he said nervously.

“Oh, Queens!” Steve said chuckling and extending his hand. “Nice to formally meet you, Peter.”

“Nice to meet you again, Captain.”

“By the way, I’m sorry for throwing that container on you that time… I wasn’t thinking right.”

“Don’t worry, the past is in the past,” the kid said, Steve smiled and moved on to also shortly hug Rhodey, Happy and Pepper.

When he was getting to Tony, that was uncharacteristically non-verbal, there was a scream on his back that distracted him. “Uncle Tony!” and then, Ari was launching himself to Tony’s arms. Both of them laughed, joyful that they were seeing each other after such a long time apart. “I missed you so much, uncle Tony!”

“I missed you, too, kiddo,” he admitted securing his arms around him. “Lordy, you have grown so much! Look at you! You’re not even a blondie anymore!” he said smiling and messing Ari’s hair with his fingers, making Ari squeal and move his head side to side.

“I’m six!”

“Wow, you’re six years old?! Already?!” Tony opened his mouth, surprised and laughed before kissing Ari’s cheeks.

“Mama, come to say hi to uncle Tony!”

The team was also saying hi to the rest, but every single body went rigid at Ari’s words. Steve walked the two steps that separated them, and extended his hand at him, “Tony.”

“Steve,” Tony answered taking the hand and giving him a friendly squeeze. “Good to see you in person.”

“Likewise,” Steve said letting go of the hand.

“My dada is here, too!” Ari said to Tony just in time when Bucky had finished introducing himself to Vision, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and apologizing to Peter a thousand times for fighting him when he was just a 14-year-old kid. “Dada, this is my uncle Tony, he’s the best!”

Bucky made his way to them with a slight smile to not discourage Ari’s happiness and extended his arm at Tony, like Steve had done. “Mr. Stark.”

“Tony is fine,” he said taking it, “thank you for coming, Barnes.”

“Bucky is fine, and thank you for inviting me,” he responded nodding.

“Is that my little Ari I see?!” Pepper exclaimed coming to them with the biggest smile on her face.

“Auntie Pep!” and he was out Tony’s arms and off to Pepper’s.

“We were drinking delicious coffee and hot cocoa inside, want to join us?” Thor asked.

They all agreed and went inside to escape the cold. Ari said hi to Friday that showed her excitement for him being back in the Compound under Bucky’s confused look, and he later enjoyed Peter’s explanation of who Friday was between sips of coffee. Bucky was also given a tour with Happy and Ari while the Avengers had their reunion in their meetings room. He was shown Ari’s old room where he spotted a picture of him in the Army and a bunch of toys and books on the shelves, the room clearly belonged to a child, and thank God, it was far from what Bucky’s childhood room had been. In Steve’s room, where Ari roamed around to find a book Steve had read to him a long time ago, he saw a picture of them during the war. It was in black an white, grainy and old, that had been a caption of a video they had filmed, Bucky remembered that. Steve had told him that that picture had helped him get up on days he wanted the bed to swallow him and that when Ari was a pup, he loved to feed him in bed to glance at the photo every once in a while.

Bucky wanted to take the picture and give it back to Steve, but Ari dragged him again, this time to Tony’s lab. They found Steve’s shield in there, and Ari insisted to Bucky that he had to carry it to give it back to his ma, so he did.

In the meeting room, the Avengers that hadn't been on his team, were looking at Steve with wide eyes and shocked expressions.

“What do you mean you’re retiring?” Bruce exclaimed.

“I’m retiring,” Steve repeated, “I’ll do it after the United Nations thing is settled and when Sam, Wanda, and Nat are ok with the terms of the Accords.”

“What are you planning to do, then, Steve?” Pepper asked quietly.

“I’m staying in Wakanda with Bucky and Ari. Bucky is going to study and I’ll find something to do.”

“If shit hits the fan spectacularly, can we still count on you?” asked Tony.

“Of course, and on Bucky, too, we’ll be there if there’s help needed, we are going to have a life, but we are not ignoring the world’s security,” Steve explained calmly, Tony nodded. 

“So, that’s it? No more Captain America?” Rhodey asked from next to Tony.

“Well, actually… I found someone who deserves the mantle,” Steve’s lips slowly formed a smirk and his eyes went to Sam, making that eventually, everyone was looking at him.

“Holy shit! That is awesome, dude!” Peter yelled, “oh my God, can you guys imagine the red and blue wings? The shield in the air? The new suit? Oh my God, Christmas came early this year!”

“Hey, hey, slow down Bug boy, do you realize that I’m going to be the new Cap and not you, right?” Sam questioned him.

“Of course, of course! It’s just that your suit is the shit, bro, I love it, I wish spiders also had wings so I could have a cool suit like yours,” Peter rushed to say, “and Redwing? Oh my God, amazing!” and added, “Oh, do you think we can train and make some fighting badass moves together?” everyone laughed or snorted but Sam squinted his eyes at him, a smile on his face.

“I like this kid, can we keep him?”

“Congratulations, new Captain!” Thor exclaimed, “I look forward to working with you.”

Sam made a squeal-fangirl sound and nodded quickly, turning into a teenager whose crush had sent a text, and making Nat laugh at him. The next hour was spent discussing the new deal with the UN, how could they shape it their way to assure they were going to be in all the places that needed their assistant.

They arrived at a new agreement by the time it was already night time, and deciding that everything was cool between them, they all signed for dinner and spending the night in the Compound.

That dinner was weird to Bucky but in a good way. He had never seen Steve’s full family all together before, and well, when he had seen it, they weren’t on good terms. So the long table full of people talking, laughing and enjoying the food along with his mate and their son, was something he was happy for. Bucky wished that in the future they could have something like that in their home in Wakanda, a big friends gathering to celebrate friendship.

The visit ended the next morning, and let the teams with the promise of finding a way to make the UN approve their new idea and allow them to live out of the shadows.

Ari left with two boxes full of things he had taken of his room, and their parents picture that was on his ma’ old room, in his backpack.

Sam, Wanda, and Nat also took some stuff, but given the fact that everything was pointing to them re-joining the Avengers officially and living in their facilities again, they left most of their things the way they were, as well as the Cap shield.

By March, after Bucky’s 102nd birthday, the UN made an announcement that they were discussing to modify the Sokovian Accords, and opened an Extraordinary Session on the General Assembly to listen to what the leaders of the countries had to say about it. Fortunately, a lot of them were in agreement that there were places that wouldn’t have suffered terrible consequences if the Security Council’s team hadn’t rejected the remaining Avengers the petition of going, and how the rouge Avengers had helped to make things better for the victims of those said places.

The press didn’t give the session much thought, it barely made a few headlines and only specialists analyzed the final result of the re-negotiation of the Accords, that allowed the Avengers to go whenever they were needed with a posterior file explaining the situation to the team of the SC, and to act when said team told them to. Also, the re-negotiation specified that the Avengers that had gone rouge were no longer international criminals due to Bucky’s sentence, the document even had to specify that they had been wrong and that the team was protecting Barnes. It meant that things could go back to normal.

While the press didn’t pay much attention to the entire situation, by July, when Steve showed up in public at the Avengers Compound in the Press Conference room to announce he was retiring, and that Sam was stepping in for the job, everyone went crazy. There were obviously people on his side, saying that he deserved the break and leaving a lot of beautiful comments wishing him a happy retiring. There were other people that weren’t happy that Sam took the shield, but he made sure to everyone that he didn’t care what they thought, Steve had trusted him with the mantle and he was going to carry on the legacy of the great Captain America.

Also, that summer, after studying basic engineering with tutors and getting his High School degree, Bucky finally applied to enter the Wakandan Institute of Technology. He had to pass eight different exams that he and the other aspirants had to sit from Monday to Friday, and from Monday to Wednesday, one per day, making those days the most stressing ones of his new life. Ari and Steve were the most patient people with him during that time. They had moved to an apartment that was close to the University a short time ago, and while he studied his ass off, Steve and Ari arranged everything in their new home, made sure to make him laugh when they noticed he was stressing over nothing, to make him take walks to clear his mind, and obviously, they cooked the most delicious foods Bucky had even eaten.

With all the stress that had costed him to sit the exams, Bucky was impatiently waiting for the University's mail with the results, that was supposed to arrive on the second week of August, to allow students that didn’t live in the Golden City to move their lives to the campus or find apartments before the semester started. On the second official day of waiting, an e-mail entered his inbox saying in bold that he was accepted, and Steve found him crying with his head on the keyboard.

Now that he had made his way into Uni, provided his family with a home and economic stability thanks to his job at a Wakandan tech company that was willing to promote him when he got his degree, Bucky had one more promise he intended to keep.

With summer quickly coming to an end and foreseeing that he was going to be busy for the next semester, Bucky asked his friends for help to get some things together to surprise Steve.

That day Steve had been sketching quietly in the balcony of their apartment after his appointment at the Fertility Clinic. Ari was on a playdate with a friend from Day Care and Bucky was helping Shuri in his lab, so he was alone and in peace. That was until someone knocked on the door and he had to get up to welcome the unexpected guest.

“Hi!”

“Nakia? Hey, how are you? Come in, please,” Steve said surprised and leaving the door opened for her.

“I’m fine, thank you!” she entered and Steve noticed that she was carrying a clothes hanger that was covered with a thin white plastic thing.

“Wow, you bringing delivery?”

“Yes! Bucky sent it to you as a thank you for bearing with him through his months of studying, for the weeks of sitting exams and for the patience he knows you’re going to have now that he was accepted in Uni,” she explained leaving the bag on the sofa and turning back to him, “and it has a note, make sure you read it!”

And just like that, Nakia kissed his cheek and left, leaving Steve confused, asking himself what the hell just happened. He took the bag to inspect what it had inside, finding a light grey suit in it, with a white shirt and a light blue tie. The note read:

_’Hi baby, I want to take you on a date to thank you for all your patience all these past months. Please wear the entire suit and meet me in our favorite garden in the Palace at 6 pm. Don’t worry, Shuri will pick up Ari and take him there!_

_ I’ll be waiting for you._

_I love you,_

_Buck.”_

Steve smiled at the piece of paper and left it on the coffee table, taking the suit with him to the bedroom. It was 5 pm already, so he took a short shower, trimmed his beard, combed his hair to the side and got dressed.

The suit fitted him like a glove and if Bucky had chosen it by eye, he was really good at that. Steve paired it with a pair of soft brown shoes and silver cufflinks, and after a quick look in the mirror, he took the keys of his car and drove to the Palace.

It looked like that day there was a party going on or something, there were people that he had never seen in his life walking up and down the hallways, but they were all going up, so Steve lost sight of them when he turned to the gardens.

His and Bucky’s favorite one was called Central Garden, which had a not so common mix of flowers: all shades of pink camellias and white daisies. The garden had a fountain in the middle, and there was Bucky with his phone in hand, handsome as ever in an outfit in the same color and combination as Steve’s.

“Hey there,” Steve said walking to him, his hands on the pockets of the dress pants.

“Hey!” Bucky replied back, shoving the phone in his pocket and quickly walking to Steve to take his head on his hands and kissing him lovingly. “You look so good, I wonder who picked that suit for you, must be someone with real talent, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m sure that it was someone with talent,” Steve commented laughing softly and putting his hands on Bucky’s waist. “Thank you for sending it and for inviting me.”

“I owed you something like this, I feel like we haven’t even been living in the same house with the crazy studying schedules and my job… thank you, for being by my side, I wouldn’t have accomplished finishing High School and entering Uni at 102 without you,” Steve smiled again at him and kissed him.

“With you is the where I want to be, forever, even if most of the time you’re studying and working,” this time Bucky smiled, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.”

“I love you, Stevie, you’re the best that has ever been mine,” Steve knew that Bucky was quoting a Taylor Swift song, so he slapped his arm but received the kiss he was giving him anyway. “You’re my everything, you’re the love of my life, did you know that?”

“Maybe you mentioned it a few times, yeah…”

“I love you, I truly do, I have done it since I met you, I found the meaning of life after I saw these two beautiful blue eyes,” he whispered to Steve, “and when this body was a lot shorter and skinnier, but I was so glad when you found me in the war and so glad that you were the same in the inside than before…”

“Bucky…”

“I’m so lucky to have you, my love, and to have Ari, which is a piece of you and me…”

“More you than me…”

“You’re ruining the moment, Rogers,” he reproached making Steve laugh and kiss him shortly. “I love you, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Steve.”

“Me too, Buck…”

“Are you sure? It’s a life commitment,” he said factly and jokingly.

“Pal, we’re in our 100 and been together since I was 14 and you 15, don’t you think that that is a commitment already?”

“Our’s is a special case, pal, people who spent more than 90 years together usually die at this age, but look at us, fresh as lettuces,” the comment made Steve laugh loudly and Bucky fell more in love with him. “It’s true, though!”

“Yes, it is, but most people hadn’t been through hat we had, it’s not fair to compare!”

“You take all the fun, Steve,” Bucky whined, his arms wrapping around Steve’s waist now to push him closer.

“That’s my job,” he said in the middle of the hug. “Anyway, are we going somewhere else?”

“Oh, yes, I was planning on taking you to our balcony but it seems like Ramonda organized something and it’s occupied,” lamented Bucky while placing kisses on Steve’s neck.

“Yeah, I saw all the fuss when I entered, there are a lot of people working in there, any idea of what it is?”

“Nah, Shuri wasn’t of much help, she didn’t say anything when I asked, so I guess it’s something we’ll hear about tomorrow in the newspapers,” Bucky said breaking the hug and then looked up, to the balcony, “oh, look, you can see some flowers arrangements hanging from the guardrails!” he exclaimed, Steve turned his body and put his hand to make his visibility better because the sun was in the way, and saw the flowers that Bucky was talking about.

“Oh, those are gerbera daisies arrangements, they’re beautiful!” Steve said excitedly, “Buck, look! They are… Buck?” he asked when turned around and didn’t see him there, but then looked down, and saw him on the floor, on one knee. “Buck?”

“Stevie, my love, I love you with all my heart, and I’ve been promising you since 1932 that I was going to marry you but I never formally asked…” Bucky said taking out a black box out of his pocket, Steve had forgotten that he could cry without even blinking, “Steve Rogers, will you make me the happiest man on Earth? Will you marry me, my love?”

“Oh, Buck,” Steve whispered in tears, a big smile on his lips, “yes, yes, I’ll marry you, jerk.”

Steve didn’t see the ring because he had tears blocking his view, but he didn’t care, he kissed Bucky the moment the ring touched his ring finger and he cried of happiness in the arms of his Alpha. He had waited exactly 87 years for those words to come out of Bucky’s lips, and now that they had, the promise was coming to a reality in the ring he had given him in exchange for the magic ‘yes’ word.

“I love you, I love you so much,” Bucky was saying to his ear as his crying stopped and was replaced with a dopey smile on both their faces. “Why don’t you take a look at your ring, baby?”

Steve did, and his eyes opened in wonder. It was a white gold band covered in small diamonds that sparkled at the sunlight, Steve loved it. Back in the day, diamonds were something really out of their price point and if Bucky had proposed then, the ring would’ve been more simple. Not that Steve would’ve cared about it, he would’ve just been happy with a ring that showed they belonged to each other, but don’t blame him, he was an Omega who had dreamed of marrying his Alpha for most of his life, so yeah, he really appreciated the shining ring.

“Buck, it’s beautiful, thank you, thank you so much,” Steve said moving his finger so the light could catch every diamond in the ring.

“You waited a lot for me to pop the question, you deserve it,” Bucky commented smiling at him and then also taking a look at the ring, “it has ’til the end of the line’ engraved inside, I think that has been our quote, right?” Steve nodded and took Bucky’s head on his hands to give him a long kiss that left them breathless, smiling like idiots in love in the middle of the garden.

A loud crash sound broke the spell of the moment, it sounded like it came from the balcony, which made Bucky come out of the happiness bubble he was in.

“Our balcony is occupied, but I prepared something somewhere else, let’s go,” he said to Steve and starting to walk back inside without waiting for an answer.

The hallways were calmer this time. There weren’t people running around with flowers or vases, just the usual quietness of the Dora’s changing shifts and their steps resonating on the floor. Steve was still floating on his own cloud, he wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that they were walking through a familiar path. But c’mon, he had right to be distracted, he was constantly throwing glances at his ring, the way it sparkled even in the hallways and what it meant. He had finally gotten everything he wanted. He was going to marry Bucky, they had a son, a nice apartment and a long fulfilled life ahead. It was like another dream come true.

“Stevie? I prepared dinner… but there’s something before that,” Bucky said when they arrived at their destination, the room that you had to go through before entering their favorite balcony.

“Something like…?”

“Well, I think we both waited long enough, so… will you marry me, today?” he asked holding their hands together with a nervous little smile.

“Today?!”

“Yeah, I got help and got everything ready if you want to…”

“You did… what?” Steve looked around and then stopped when his eyes landed on the closed balcony doors, “the party…”

“Yes, it’s ours… I mean, if you want to, I don’t wanna pressure you into this, my love, but I just… oh my God, I am rushing, am I? I’m so sorry, baby, I’m…” Bucky’s rambling was interrupted by Steve kissing him once again, devouring his lips with love and gratitude. “I take that as a ‘yes’?”

“Of course, Buck, you said it, we waited long enough, let’s get married today.”

The stunning smile on Bucky’s face said it all, he kissed him and left quickly to the door that led to the city view, and came back with Nat, Ari, Sam and Wanda, the women wearing beautiful white silk dresses and Sam wearing a white suit.

“What are you guys doing here?!” Steve exclaimed with open arms to hug them and kiss their cheeks, they hadn’t seen each other since they had moved back to the US and said nothing about traveling to Wakanda anytime soon.

“Attending your wedding, that’s what we’re doing, Rogers!” Nat said squealing a little, it felt like she had waited forever to that day to finally arrive.

“Besides, we missed you, man,” Sam added while palming his back.

“And Bucky insisted that if we weren’t here, he was going to kill us, so,” said Wanda, that earned a soft elbowing from Bucky that was at her side.

“Ma, you look so beautiful!”

Everyone aaaaw’d at Ari’s words and Steve blushed while accepting a hug, and inspect his son’s outfit, to realize that Ari was dressed exactly like him and Bucky, his hair combed to the side and a white daisy on the pocket of the jacket, he looked adorable. Sam and Wanda took Bucky out almost dragging him from Steve’s arms and he was left with Nat, that was fixing a few things of his outfit and Ari, that was going to walk down the aisle with him.

“Well, I was just here to make sure your suit looked fine, and it does… so, I’ll go with the rest,” Nat said finishing fixing his tie.

“Nat… no, don’t go…” Steve said taking her hand, “you have always been there for me, while I recovered, when I was pregnant, at Ari’s birth, in both our lives… in a way, you’re like my best friend-sister, did you know that?” the title made her laugh and nod. “What I am trying to say is that you’re my family, and as my ma can’t be here to walk me with Ari… would you walk me down the aisle, Nat?”

The tears on Nat’s eyes were the answer, they hugged each other for a while, containing the tears of the moment and recomposing until Ari told them that there was music playing. The tears were their way back to Steve’s eyes when he recognized the song that was playing softly. It was All Of Me by John Legend, his and Bucky’s favorite song for each other, just that instead of being the original version, he could tell it was being played live by a cello and a violin.

Nat took Steve to the door that gave the jungle view, took Steve’s arm in hers, Ari took Steve’s free hand and they all smiled, right on time for the second chorus of the song. Someone from the other side opened the double doors and Steve gasped.

Everything was white. There were chairs that their guests, all dressed in white, had taken and they all stood up for him with big smiles and some teary eyes already. As he walked nervously, Steve saw all the Avengers, a very pregnant Pepper, Clara, Happy with a long-haired lady, Loki with Brunnhilde, a young woman that was next to Peter, Clint and his family, Scott Lang and his family, Nick Fury, Bucky’s tutors and their significant others, and of course, the Wakandan Royal Family with Okoye.

Bucky was waiting for him at the aisle, that was beautifully made with fluten white columns that had more daisies and a, literally, wall made out of white camellias and green leaves. Next to Bucky was his best man, Sam, that luckily had added a handkerchief to his suit to lend it to Bucky when he noticed that the groom’s eyes were tearing nonstop. T’Challa was also there, but not on Bucky’s side, he was in the middle, he was going to be the officiant of the wedding.

When Steve reached the aisle, Bucky kneeled to kiss Ari’s cheek and then took Steve’s hand from Nat’s. “You take care of them or I’ll kill you without you seeing me coming,” she warned him in a whisper that made them snort.

“I will, I promise,” Bucky answered confidently.

Nat made the classic “I’m watching you” sign with her fingers that made the guests laugh, and then took Ari’s hand to guide them to their seats. Steve and Bucky walked two steps to get to T’Challa, and he smiled at them.

“Friends, we have been invited here today to share with Steve and Bucky a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other have grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lived together as husband and husband.”

Steve’s engagement ring wasn’t the only thing sparkling in that especial sunset in Wakanda. The eyes of the two men at the aisle seemed to sparkle the same way the diamonds did, but for each other, during the ceremony, during their vows, during the exchange of rings, during the “_you can kiss your husband_” line, during the first kiss they shared as a married couple, and during T’Challa’s pronunciation of them as husband and husband.

The party and the dinner celebration were held on the other side of the balcony, with the city view, that looked majestic from that height and at night time. There, there was a dance floor, an open bar and because they didn’t have a lot of guests, the dinner was served in a long table with the married lovebirds in the center so they could talk to everyone. Before that, Steve and Bucky had their first dance and more kisses, with the whistles and yelling of their friends in the background.

That night had to be ranked in Steve’s life as one of the bests, along with the night that Ari had made his appearance in the world. He saw his friends, he had fun with them, he danced, he kissed his husband, what else could he ever ask for?

When the party was over, they said thanks to their friends for coming over, to participate in the surprise and for celebrating with them. Bruce and Nat took a sleepy Ari back to their apartment, they were going to stay the night with him, while Steve and Bucky had their first married night in the Palace.

The room that Shuri had kindly arranged for them was decorated like the ones you watched in romantic movies. There were red petals on the floor, a heart also made of red petals on the bed, champagne in ice, even strawberries with chocolate to go with everything and… a device that made the room completely soundproof. 

“I think she went a little overboard,” said Steve while throwing his jacket to the closest chair.

“But you gotta admit that the soundproof thing is amazing, I’m not giving it back,” Bucky laughed as he inspected it and stuck it to the wall, and the device made a blue protection barrier that extended through all the walls of the room, “there you go, do your job, buddy.”

“You’re asking for it before taking it!”

“Ok, ok, I’m gonna ask for it,” he said still laughing and turning to Steve. “My love, I gotta ask you something,” he started to say, Steve finished taking off his shoes and walked to him. “I know that the clinic’s appointment couldn’t have been scheduled on a worse day… but, how did it go?”

Bucky and Steve had worn protection the first year of their new relationship, but it was completely normal that they were worried about why nothing had happened yet if they hadn’t worn any after that first year. Bucky never pressured Steve into thinking that they had to have another pup, he didn’t want him to feel the same he had felt in the past, however, with Ari in their lives, they had thought that maybe Steve could get pregnant again, which it hadn’t happened.

Steve had finally made an appointment in the Fertility Clinic for the other week, but his doctor had moved it to this day due to overbooking. Bucky couldn’t be there because of ‘work’ that is was actually the last details of their wedding ceremony and celebration, so Steve went alone.

His doctor was a super friendly woman that had met him through her friendship with Ramonda and Nakia. She asked all the questions Steve expected, checked his blood test results and the results of Bucky’s… swimmers. She told him that in the papers, everything looked ok, she then made him lay down for a scan, and inspected his insides, to find that everything was, indeed, ok. Her conclusion was that they were having a hard time with conceiving because of Steve’s serum had worked on his reproductive organs someway somehow, but wasn’t made to help Omegas conceive. It made sense if he thought about it, he and Bucky had had sex a lot of times during the war for almost two years, however, he had gotten pregnant by one of those lasts times they had had before Bucky fell and Steve froze in the ocean.

Bucky, feeling that Steve’s silence was bad, felt like the absolute worst for asking in their wedding night after such a happy day. But at the same time, he didn’t want Steve dealing with it alone.

“Steve?”

“She told me that everything is fine… but that maybe my serum is the one intercepting our way to pregnancy because it was not made for Omegas,” he explained in a low voice tone, like if he was ashamed of it. “But, she also said that we can try fertility treatments and things like that, you know, to make it faster…”

“Steve,” Bucky said wrapping his arms around him, locking their eyes, “I don’t want you to feel pressured about this… baby, if it happens, happens… if not, we’ll see our options, ok?” Steve nodded slowly. “Please, don’t feel bad for any of this, remember that if the serum helped you with Ari’s pregnancy, it’ll also help you with the next one, no one is to blame here.”

“I hope so…”

“Trust me, _husband_, it’s going to happen sooner or later,” the new magic word made Steve smile.

“If it happens, happens,” he repeated, wishing to every God that his husband was right.

This time Bucky nodded and got closer to kiss him tenderly, “I love you, I always will.”

“I know…”

“You are forbidden to watching Star Wars, Steven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bom, galerinha, did you expect the wedding? I think I even surprised myself when I couldn't stop writing and that came out hahaha
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and get ready for the last chapter! 
> 
> Beijinhos, 
> 
> Fab.


	5. I just had to start again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, galerinha!!!!!! How are you guys?  
I'm sorry it took me more than expected to share this chapter, but life has been crazy and I've had no time to write :(  
But finallyyyyyyyyy, the day has arrived!
> 
> Beforehand, thank so much for reading Hospital For Souls, it truly meant the world to me to see your comments and reactions to it! Because of this, I want to dedicate this last chapter to all of you who had commented repeatedly on the chapters and made my day: Shinigami24, Rin-Rin, LuzS, Kagomelovestucky, Amanda Luttrell, Alphaess and Thetessie 💖! Thank you, guys!

Time flies by when life is good and kept you busy.

After their beautiful summer wedding, Steve and Bucky adjusted to their married life very well, especially with Shuri’s little gift for the wedding night that proved to be the best one they had ever gotten.

Despite having a few days off and thinking they were going to postpone their honeymoon until next summer, the newlyweds went on a 5-day honeymoon to a nice private island in the Caribbean, courtesy of Tony. The lovebirds spent their time getting tanned, walking on the beach hand in hand, taking Tony’s yacht to spend the day swimming in the sea, eating delicious food that the lady who worked at the mansion made for them, video calling Ari that was in their apartment with uncle Bruce and auntie Nat, making love and enjoying the beginning of that new chapter.

That fall posterior to that, one day at 9 am Steve and Bucky took Ari to his first day of Primary School, and there were a lot of tears behind Ari’s back. The kid was excited and happy to start that level of education with the friends he had made in Day Care, and his parents didn’t want to ruin the day by being too emotional. That thought was thanks to Bucky watching a lot of Modern Family episodes on the shower. He showed concerned about Ari after he watched the episode when Lily didn’t show emotions that well because of Cameron, his dad, being too emotional the entire time. And to be fair, he thought that there was no Mitchell in his and Steve’s relationship, they were both complete Cams, crying when his baby did something new and crying with every milestone and birthday. So, yes, that derived on them crying in the car on their way back home.

Exactly a week later, Bucky left the apartment at 8 am to assist his first class in University, at 9 am Steve took Ari to School, and he was left in the apartment alone. As much as in the past he had wanted to be a stay at home mother, the entire apartment was clean, there was enough frozen —but homemade— food in the fridge for two months and he was completely bored. So he had went out looking for art supplies to sketch, and went back home with a couple of unruled notebooks, pencils, coloring pencils for Ari, all types of paints and brushes, stretched canvases, aprons, brush holders and organizers, brush cleaners and washers, a few easels and a whole new wave of inspiration that he had never got to experience before.

Slowly, with the supplies he had gotten and kept on re-buying, Steve began to bring out all his artistic talent, that had been hidden in the past years, appearing only in the form of sketching every once in a while.

One of his favorite paintings he had made, was donated to the Stark Industries building, it showed a mesmerizing sunset from the side view of the Avengers Compound. A lot of people had asked about the artist that had signed the piece as SRB, and no one suspected that the former Captain America was an artist, so Steve started to sign all his paintings with those initials, and of course, to sell them.

First, it started off as an online thing he did with Peter’s help, then his paintings experienced a sudden increase in their value for their exclusivity and uniqueness of having just one of each and thanks to rich people collecting them and displaying them in their homes. Then, Steve had to hire an assistant, Asha, to help him run the website, organize exhibitions all over the world, with paintings that weren’t on the site and that were even more expensive because they had never seen the light until that moment. The fact that the name of the artist was a secret made the entire thing more successful, and it made Steve become the 3rd best-paid artist in the world, according to a magazine specialized in art.

While all of this happened, Bucky was studying hard at the Wakandan Institute of Technology and balancing student, worker, dad and husband life as well as he could. The first year of Uni was the absolute worse though, he passed the tests on the recuperation dates after not passing them on the firsts tries, but he hadn’t given up. He spent the entire summer studying with tutors and Shuri’s help to make sure he could succeed more easily in the next semester, and his hard work paid off. Bucky became the star student after his bumpy start thanks to his dedication, and thanks to Steve, that had to sit him and make him realize that he couldn’t work, study, be a present father and a good husband if he was juggling all those things. For that, Steve told him to quit his job, to focus on studying and their family, they were ok with the money he made with the paintings.

Also, with time passing, Steve and Bucky watched, fascinated, how their baby grew up. Soon he began to have fallen teeth and consequently, to have adorable gaps on his smile that had his parents, and entire family, really, drooling over him. He also learned to write and read, he learned to speak perfect Xhosa, Portuguese and Russian, this last one thanks to auntie’s Nat help every time she visited or that they went to the US. Ari made friends at school, and to carry on with Steve’s legacy, he was known as the kid that got in trouble for standing up to bullies, so Steve and Bucky were recurrent visitors to the Director’s office after class, that most of the time couldn’t do anything against Ari, he was just defending his friends. Let’s say that their son was full of goodness, mischief, and love for his parents, that adored him to death.

They travelled a lot, too. A lot, lot. Meaning that for most of the summer, they were out of Wakanda, exploring the world, showing it to Ari and ticking places off their list. During the School and Uni year, they took every chance they got to travel inside Wakanda as well, so they could get to know their home along with Ari. That developed Steve’s fourth love, photography, that inspired him to make beautiful landscapes paintings.

Thanks to the Avengers, they made new friends with time. Now there was a new Captain called Carol, which Ari loved and made his auntie Nat feel a little bit of jealousy, Stephen Strange, and the Guardians of the Galaxy. They didn’t visit often, they saw them the most in summer on their week-long compulsory visit to the Compound, and often Quill would fangirl over Steve and his time as Cap.

Clara, which nanny services weren’t needed anymore since the team members were not considered criminals and Ari wasn't a toddler anymore, was now the nanny for the Stark children. Yes, children. Pepper and Tony had two little girls, Morgan, the firstborn, and Maria, their youngest, who gave Clara a lot of work but also stability, the Starks lived in a nice house and weren’t in need to be on run or have safe houses. Ari loved to visit his cousins and visit Clara, that had a part of her heart reserved for him, she had been raising him with Steve, after all.

Weird and happy things also happened. To be more specific, a lot of weddings happened, Happy got married to May, Peter’s aunt, followed by Nat and Bruce, T’Challa and Nakia, Thor and Jane Foster, and Pepper and Tony finally did it after long years of engagement and two daughters. Into the weird ones, Loki and Nebula had a thing going on for years and believed no one knew about it, the same applied to Carol and Rhodey, Shuri and Peter, and to Sam with Maria Hill. Although Sam and Maria were not a secret to Steve and Bucky, they had visited Wakanda together on their own adventures and they weren’t ashamed to show their affection in front of them. And Shuri and Peter hid their relationship with ‘work’ on her lab or Peter’s lab in Stark Industries. Bucky had once caught them in the middle of a, really heavy I may add, make-out session when he went to get his arm’s software updated, and after running away before they could see him, he had gone home, stared at a wall for approximately 5 minutes until Steve arrived home with Ari and took him out of his post-trauma. He told everything to his husband, who just laughed and said, “_you needed to see them make out to realize there was something going on between them? C’mon, Barnes!”_

Time also made them change looks or experiment with them. For example, Bucky once tried to have a mustache that only lasted a day because Steve threatened to shave in his sleep, and a Tony looking beard that he shaved after sending the man a picture of the look. Steve had gotten rid of the beard but left his hair grow, he liked to have it long enough for it to touch his neck, and Bucky loved how the ends curled upwards when he wasn’t using a hair tie. And finally, Bucky found his new signature look that his husband loved, full beard and longish fluffy hair. Steve told him that he loved it because it made him have a daddy look, which had Bucky rising his eyebrows with a mischievous smirk and dragging him to their bedroom.

With all the happiness of life, there were also bad times, because Steve just couldn’t get pregnant, again. After their third wedding anniversary, Steve and Bucky thought about trying a fertility treatment, but Steve got cold feet at the last minute. He didn’t want to get hopes for something he wasn’t sure it could work, he didn’t know if his heart could take that pain again, because before it had been only the two of them to help get through that and comfort each other, but now they had Ari, and Steve didn’t want to risk falling into the rabbit’s hole when he already had a son to take care of. Bucky understood and supported Steve’s decision, he had told him that he was never going to pressure him, and he kept that promise perfectly. Besides, he was never going to agree to do something that could hurt his mate, never.

All hopes for Ari getting a sibling were down to zero until they didn’t.

Almost six years had passed since their wedding, Bucky was a week away from his graduation ceremony when Steve started to feel under the weather. He attributed it to the nervousness of having his first big exhibition in China in a couple of weeks, that he was going to assist as a guest, but when their friends arrived the day before Bucky’s big day to be at the ceremony and celebration, Nat wasn’t taking shit. She did a short trip to the closest pharmacy and brought back with her a bag with eight pregnancy tests to Steve to do.

Thank God that Bucky had been at Uni and Ari playing with Bruce because Steve’s face lost color realizing he had no way out of that without taking the tests, and he locked himself in the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, Steve was being stared at by pink and blue plus signs, mixed with a few ‘pregnant’ words showing on the digital tests. All eight of them, positive.

“Steve? It’s been eleven minutes, some of them didn’t take longer than five to show the results, are you ok?” Nat asked from outside, but Steve was too busy staring at the tests with a waterfall falling out of eyes to answer. “Steve? Are you in there or did you escape through the window?”

“I-I’m here,” he answered quickly wiping his tears.

“Ok, can I come in? Or do you want to…?” the door opened before Nat could finish, she saw Steve sitting over the closed lid of the toilet, crying, and she threw herself at him, the red in his eyes said everything. “Oh, honey,” she stroked Steve’s hair while he cried on her shoulder, “don’t worry… it’s going to happen someday, sooner than later, you’ll see…”

Nat sighed kissing Steve’s head and decided to take a look at the tests, see if there was a possibility of Steve hadn’t done them correctly or if there were a few still waiting for the results. On the contrary of what she had thought, she gasped loudly seeing the five plus signs and the three ‘pregnant’ displayed on the windows of the digital tests.

“Steve…” she said feeling her voice quivering, “Steve, you’re pregnant… oh my God, Steve! Steve! You’re going to have a baby!” she exclaimed with tears quickly making their way down her cheeks a smile adorning her lips. There, inside the cold walls of the bathroom with eight positive pregnancy tests, it wasn’t just Nat comforting Steve, it was also Steve, pregnant Steve, comforting Nat.

That night before Bucky arrived home, Steve stored the tests on his nightstand and ran to the mall to make a purchase he didn’t think he was ever going to do again.

The next day, also known as graduation day, everything went as planned. The ceremony was in the late afternoon in the University’s field, just when the sun was going down and giving a break of the humid heat of the fast-approaching summer.

Bucky looked so handsome in his full black, gray and cardinal academic dress that Steve wanted to eat him. But what was even more beautiful than that tall man with short hair and killing smile, was the sparkle in his eyes. Not only his family was proud of him, but Bucky was really proud of himself. He wished his mother, father and siblings were there to listen to his name being called out, to see him going on the stage and receiving a University degree. He would’ve been the first Barnes in getting a degree in the past, but he was sure that maybe with the families that their siblings had had, there was already some professional Barnes somewhere in the world. However, he was happy knowing that his own family, his mate, his son, and the friends he had made along the way, were there to cheer for him.

Steve gave him a last kiss before the ceremony started and Bucky took his seat on the students' side. Not all the Avengers could go, but in Bucky’s cheerleading group were Sam, Maria, Peter, Wanda, Scott and his daughter, Vision, Thor, Nat, Bruce, and obviously, Ari and Steve. And as for the Royal Family, Nakia and T’Challa were away on a mission, so Ramonda and Shuri were on the stage with the academic body of the University, they weren’t going to miss the graduation of their favorite white, no longer broken, boy for anything.

The ceremony was kind of long, it was a while until the students formed a line and were called out to the stage, and luckily because it was in alphabetical order, they didn’t have to wait a lot for Bucky’s name.

“Barnes, James Buchanan.”

“You go dada!”

“Way to go, old man!”

Bucky made his way to the person that handed him the degree in between the applause of his class mates, their families, and the cheering, whistling and more clapping of his friends. He shook hands with people he didn’t even know, then politely shook hands with Shuri and Ramonda, but neither of them couldn’t resist to shortly hug him. Bucky walked out with a big smile, both hands in the air, making his family cheer even more.

When the ceremony ended about two hours later, Ari raced to his dada to hug him and soon he found himself in a big family hug. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck when he got the chance, and they shared a long congratulation kiss.

“Congratulations, Buck, you did it!” Steve congratulated him while wiping a few rebel tears on Bucky’s cheeks.

“Thank you, my love, thank you for being with me all these years, putting up with my student life, I couldn’t have done it without you by my side.”

Nat initiated a group ‘aaaaaaw’ that had them turning red and kissing again, while Peter took pictures with his phone and kept on looking at the stage where Shuri was. For someone who had a hidden relationship, Peter wasn’t hiding his feelings at all.

At night and when they were in bed, posterior to a small dinner celebration they held in their apartment, Ari went to Steve’s and Bucky’s room to give them his goodnight kiss. It was when Bucky went to brush his teeth that Steve took out a small flat box from under the bed, and took off his nightstand a pregnancy test. Watching it now carefully, Steve noticed the 4+ that was showing over the ‘pregnant’, he knew that it meant he was more than four weeks pregnant, and one hand couldn’t help to go to his belly. They had waited for so long…

He was smiling at the test the moment that Bucky came out of the bathroom, and Steve hid it under his pillow, leaving Bucky with a curious expression.

“What you got there, baby?” he asked sitting on the bed next to him.

“A gift, for you.”

“For me? I told you not to get me anything,” Bucky said taking the box and giving Steve a ‘thank you’ kiss on the lips. “Thank you, Steve.” Steve smiled, saw how Bucky undid the bow of the gift and opened the box. Inside it, wrapped in light green tissue paper, was a yellow onesie. “As much as I appreciate the intention, I think it’s too small for me, Stevie,” Bucky joked taking it out and inspecting it, it looked tiny in his hands.

“Well, maybe for you… but it’s perfect for our baby," Bucky's eyebrows reached his hairline in question, "you know, the one we’re having in 8 months.”

There was silence in the room while Bucky stared at Steve for a minute, his eyes getting wetter with the passing seconds. “Our… what?”

“Our baby,” the first tears fell to Bucky’s face as Steve took a stick out of under his pillow and showed it to him. It was… something that he couldn’t identify, until he read the word it was showing, and looked up at Steve again, “surprise, I’m pregnant!”

Saying that Bucky was shocked, was a total understatement. He couldn’t believe it. They had already lost a pup, believed they could never have a family to call their own, and lost and found each other with their miraculous Ari in the middle. They had tried so much in these past years, he had been there for Steve every time a strip test was negative, comforting him, wishing that his mate would settle for getting treatment to increase their possibilities… but yes, there he was, with a onesie on his hands, and there it was Steve, his husband, the love of his life, holding a positive pregnancy test with the most beautiful and breathtaking smile, and the fruit of their love growing inside him.

“Steve… you’re not joking, are you?” he asked, voice trembling.

“Why would I joke with that?” Steve asked giggling a little and getting closer to him, putting the box and the test to the side.

“Stevie, oh my God,” said Bucky gasping, “Steve, Steve, Steve… baby, oh my God!” he exclaimed.

“Shhhh, Ari must be sleeping!”

“Stevie, we’re having another baby!” he exclaimed again, a smile quickly appearing on his face, both arms raised in the air. “Steve, you’re pregnant!” Steve laughed nodding, getting on his knees and wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck. “Baby, we’re having a baby,” Bucky said crying and laughing at the same time, “oh God, we’re gonna have another baby,” this time he wrapped his arms on Steve and threw him softly to the bed, “it’s the best gift I’ve gotten, babe, thank you, thank you.”

“Well, it’s more like when you order something online and it takes time to arrive, we ordered a couple of weeks ago, it’ll arrive in a few months… but you’re welcome…”

“Did you just compare our baby to online delivery?” Bucky asked, half perplex and half-joking.

Steve snorted and looked around guiltily, “maybe..?”

“Did you hear that?” Bucky said looking down at Steve’s stomach, “your mother just compared you to online delivery!” they laughed happily before kissing again, melting into each other’s touch and almost vibrating with their mixed emotions thanks to the bond. “Is it big enough already? Can I talk to it?” Bucky asked now sliding down until he was facing Steve’s flat belly, which he uncovered by riding up the pajama t-shirt he was wearing.

“It’s too small, Buck,” Steve said tenderly, loving to see his husband that happy. “Just a month, it barely has the size of an orange seed.”

“So small,” said Bucky in tears, now pressing his forehead into Steve’s skin, “but it’ll grow…”

“Yeah, it’ll grow,” he repeated smiling at his emotionally wrecked Alpha, “and it’ll be in our arms soon.”

“8 months, you said?” Bucky questioned going back up, pressing their foreheads together.

“Approximately… yes,” he passed his fingers through Bucky’s hair lovingly, their eyes locked, “we need to see the doctor to tell us exactly how much time we’ll have to wait.”

“I can’t wait,” Bucky said happily, “Stevie I love you, I love you and our pup so much already.”

“We love you too, Buck, we do.”

During the first ultrasound that Bucky witnessed, 2 weeks after the announcement, the pup was 6 weeks and a few days, developing optimally in his mother’s womb and with a visible heartbeat that made him tear up in the doctor’s office.

Steve had wanted to wait to be on, at least, the fourth month to tell everyone, including Ari, so his Alpha had a hard time trying to keep his mouth shut. With his degree in hand, Bucky started working with Shuri and her team, he made new friends, kept in touch with the ones he had made in Uni, with a few professors, of course, T’Challa and Shuri, and he also had the Avengers, mostly Sam and Nat to talk to. As a result of that, he had a lot of people to tell that he was going to be a dad for the second time, and it killed him to hold the information from them.

Ari, that noticed something going on but couldn’t put his finger on it, was clingier to Steve than ever. There was no moment where he saw his mama laying down, that he passed on the opportunity of laying on top of him, getting his hair combed by him while quietly watching cartoons or chatting about School. There were even some times when he sneaked to his parents' bedroom to sleep with his ma’s arms around him, like when he was younger. He just felt the need of being with him the entire time.

By week 10, Steve and Bucky had another doctor’s appointment. This time the baby had grown, it had a visible and audible heartbeat, that was strong and steady. However, the scan also showed that the baby wasn’t alone.

The doctor was moving the wand on Steve’s stomach like a woman on a mission, she stopped when she found what she was looking for, “oh, I was looking for the perfect angle and I found it! There they are!” she said cheerily, smiling big at the new image.

“They?” Bucky asked right away.

“Yes! Didn’t you know you are having twins?”

Steve, that was completely sure he had never gotten out of bed and was dreaming, laughed nervously and looked at Bucky, that had covered his gaping mouth with a hand, “no, we didn’t know.”

“Look, there is the two of them!” she pointed to the two circles on the screen, both of them with two fluttering hearts, alive and growing together, their _pups_. Plural.

Bucky and Steve couldn’t stop tearing up during the rest of the scan, the doctor talked about measurements and weights and fast-beating hearts, and they listened thoughtfully, but at the same time, they were on cloud 9. Steve was wrapped in Bucky’s arms the second they were out of the office, they both cried freely, feeling lucky and blessed, feeling they were given a new chance with baby B, like if the first pup they had lost had someway made its way back to their lives, and this time, to stay.

Although Steve was the one that didn’t want to say a thing until the babies were 16 weeks, Bucky was the one with the idea of keeping the twins a secret. And because he was good at keeping secrets, Steve said yes. And because Steve had already done it, he proposed to Bucky to know the genders on the birthday, and he said yes, too.

Their friends screamed and jumped up an down when they finally spilled the beans at week 16th, Sam almost had a heart attack, Shuri startled the entire lab staff, Bruce stared at them for a whole minute without blinking, Ramonda squealed and cried hugging them, and Clara cried with them via FaceTime.

The most important person to tell was Ari. Steve and Bucky were scared of how he was going to take the news after being an only child for 11 years and never asking for siblings. When they sat him previous to having dinner to tell him, Ari surprised them by gasping and hugging his ma, careful of not throwing himself too hard at him.

He then exclaimed, “I’m going to be an older brother!”

His parents laughed and while Bucky rubbed his back, Steve kissed him like there was no tomorrow, and said, “yes, Bubba, you are!” 

Ari turned 12 years old that year, when his ma was 5 months pregnant and showing it proudly under the t-shirt he was wearing that day.

Since December they started to get things ready for the babies, but as nobody knew they were having two, they had to keep the new nursery a secret, too. They made Sam sent them Ari’s crib to place it on the new room because it was big enough for two nesting pillows, and as he had done with Ari’s room, Steve painted a Spring inspired mural since the due date was on March, and if everything went right, the pups were going to be on time for the season.

The only argument of the pregnancy came from the hand of something that Steve thought Bucky had no saying in: the birth. He wanted to have the babies in the water at home like he had done with Ari, but Bucky insisted on having the birth in a hospital. In the water, of course, but in the hospital, with doctors and medical help. Steve had to understand that Bucky hadn’t been there the first time and he was just a very concerned Alpha, so he gave in, and settled for having the babies at the hospital.

They made a birth plan, they went to Lamaze classes, Bucky went as overboard with the clothes shopping as Steve had done with Ari, and brought everything they were going to need.

Just like Ari, Steve’s and Bucky’s second and third pups didn’t make their appearance in the world until a few days later the due date. It had Bucky on the edge, and with Steve telling him that it was normal, that it had happened before and that there was nothing to worry about. However, Bucky was beyond relieved when Steve woke up and while he made breakfast, announced him that he was in labor.

Ari went to the hospital with them because he didn’t want to leave his ma, he felt he had to protect him and his baby sibling at all costs. But unfortunately, he couldn’t be there, so Nakia picked him up and took him to the Palace, leaving with the promise of coming back as soon as his sibling was born.

Steve suffered the entire day and Bucky felt useless. He was there to Steve to hold his hand, to squeeze it when contractions hit, and he knew that there were no more ways that he could help, but he felt bad anyway, his Omega was in pain. Through all of this, the pain, the waiting and the constant checkups that the nurses ran on the twins, the bond felt more alive than ever. The correct way of describing it was sparkling, it felt like sparks flew between them as the labor progressed.

The peak of the feeling happened when Steve was finally taken to the big bathtub of the room, with Bucky nervously watching everything happen from outside the tub. There were a nurse and Steve’s doctor to assist the birth, Bucky moved to be behind Steve, to give him his hand and words of encouragement and the craziest 30 minutes of his life began.

Steve was mostly silent, only panting occasionally and throwing his head back to Bucky’s chest. He then turned around to be in front of Bucky and rest his forehead on his collarbone or chest, waiting for contractions strong enough to push.

“You can do this, you can do this, my love,” he said to him, his hands on his shoulder and combing back his sweat-dampened hair. “You got this, Stevie.”

Bucky got scared when Steve whined into his chest at one particularly strong contraction, with a hand squeezing his shoulder and the other on the water. He lost any encouraging words he had practiced, realizing that Steve had made that sound because baby A was out. He saw on slow-motion how Steve took the pup out of the water, rubbing its back and placing it on his naked chest. The first cry of their baby was what brought him back and had him tearing up and laughing while kissing Steve’s head.

“Congratulations!” the nurse said at his side, Bucky didn’t even remember seeing her move, he was too focused on the sight in front of him, his beautiful, tired husband, crying and laughing with a newborn pup in his arms.

Steve rested for a while with his back to one of the laterals of the tub, where Bucky could peek to see their baby by his shoulder. It was the most beautiful potato pup he had ever seen right next to Ari in the pictures that Steve had got back a few years ago. The crying slowly stopped while the pup accommodated to his mother’s chest, listened to his heartbeat and tried to open its eyes.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Bucky asked him in a whisper.

Steve had to take his eyes off the small face he had seen so many times in the scans and moved his arm to take a look down. “It’s a girl,” he announced with a sob, his eyes immediately going back to the calmed baby girl in his arms.

Bucky sobbed too, and kissed Steve’s cheek giving one last glance to their pup because the nurse came to take her, Steve had started having contractions again and it was now time for baby B to born.

Exactly 20 minutes behind her sister, with more sparkles and emotion sharing, baby girl #2 was born to find two loving parents that cried as much as she did. She was angry that she wasn’t in the safeness and warmness of his mama’s womb anymore, but they were happy she was there, letting them know she had a very well developed set of lungs, and alive and breathing.

Behati Winifred Barnes-Rogers and Desiree Sarah Barnes-Rogers were born on March 22nd of 2025, both girls with blonde hair, Bee with the type that Steve knew it was going to turn brown with time, and Desi with the golden type that wasn’t going to change much.

Ari couldn’t believe his eyes when he was able to visit the next day in the morning. His ma looked exhausted but happy with one baby girl in his arms, and his dada was sitting beside him, holding another small bundle wrapped in a flowery blanket and bow in her head. Actually, the entire Royal Family —plus Peter— couldn’t believe it, like Ari, they had also thought it was just one baby, and there they were the twins to surprise them.

The video calls to the Avengers were insane. Nat from her new apartment in New York, cursed the entire time for the couple have kept such a secret from everyone and promised to be there when they were back at their home, with a smiling Bruce behind her telling her to calm down. Loki, Scott, Clint, and Carol were at the Compound, so their video call was mostly the men making faces and voices to the pups, with Carol smiling and laughing at them, promising she was going to meet the twins soon. Sam, Thor, Wanda, Vision, and Maria were already on their way to Wakanda, they had been on a mission and deviated their route back home to go meet the girls. Rhodey was on vacation, but they still got his congratulation message. Clara, that still worked with the Starks had to get out the house to scream not to startle them, but Pepper did scream without a second thought, making Tony rush to her and join in the surprise with more screaming.

On the first day of the twin's lives they got visits from Bucky’s friends mostly, who fell in love with them right away and couldn’t hide their shock when they saw their friend and his husband holding a baby each.

On the second day, Bee and Desi were perfectly perfect, and Steve had healed right, so they were sent home. That day Ari saw his uncle Sam cry with his baby sisters in his arms, and his aunt Maria comfort him but crying just as much at the adorableness of the picture. Auntie Nat squealed quietly at the two pups in matching flowery blankets and couldn’t have the experience of holding them at the same time because Bruce took Desi immediately, enchanted by the cute small face staring back at him.

The visits went on and on their first month, and eventually, all of their friends had met the girls and were completely in love, just like their parents.

Steve and Bucky couldn’t be happier with their twins. Steve loved to talk softly to them while he fed them, singing them to sleep, seeing their small fingers wrap around his own, but his favorite thing was watching Bucky with them. Their tiny feet looked even smaller in his hands while he changed them talking to them in his baby voice, their small bodies looked adorable napping on his chest, and he absolutely loved to see his daughters laugh at their dada’s occurrences to make them laugh. Although what Steve loved the most, was seeing Ari _and_ Bucky interact with them, they were protective and loving around them, they were always there whenever they cried or showed any sign of discomfort. A few nights, when Steve got up worried to an empty bed and a silent baby monitor, he had found his Alpha and pup sleeping on the sofa that they had put on the twin’s nursery, guarding the crib and the precious pups that slept in it. It took a few more nights to assure them that nothing bad was going to happen to them, and slowly Bucky went back to sleep in bed with him and Ari to sleep in his room.

On a quiet summer afternoon after Steve’s 107th birthday that they had celebrated in the Compound with their friends, they were still staying there on their compulsory visit. The team was napping in their apartments or rooms, Ari was asleep on the couch of the living room of Steve’s old apartment, and Steve and Bucky, seated next to Ari’s sleeping body, were with their girls. The day was warm but the light breeze that entered through the open window thanks to the threes surrounding the building, helped to ease it. The tv was on, on mute on one of those reality shows that Steve still loved, the lights were off, the curtains down and the only thing you could hear was the soft breathing sounds that Ari made, the soft noises that Desi made while drinking her food from the bottle, and Bucky’s and Steve’s whispers to their daughters.

Bucky was dopily staring at Desi, holding her with one arm and using a finger to caress her cheek, and feeding her with the other. “You’re so cute, my little girl, my little baby, yes you are,” he was saying to her with a tired smile, Desi’s blue eyes she had inherited of his ma were wide open, watching his dad with attention and no intention of going to sleep any time soon.

Beside him, Steve had the same expression on his eyes while staring at Bee, just that he was trying to make her fall asleep and she was sleepily staring back at his mama with the beautiful eye color she shared with her older brother and dad. “You’re so sleepy, aren’t you? Are you going to sleep, baby girl?” he whispered kissing her forehead tenderly. “Please do, mama’s tired, Bee, I know you are, too.”

“Good luck trying to get her to sleep with a speech, Cap,” Bucky said jokingly and earning a poke in the arm for that.

“I’m doing a better job than you are, pal, look how awake Desi is,” he said back, making kissy sounds at her.

“Because she’s eating, once she’s full, she’s going back to sleep, aren’t you?” he asked her like if she could answer, Desi raised an arm and placed it on Bucky’s hand that was holding the bottle.

“Look like she wants to eat more than she wants to sleep, you’re in trouble, dada,” Bucky chuckled shaking his head, to then place it on Steve’s shoulder.

“Baby?”

“Yes?”

“You know we had a rocky start with your mom making us wait for you to reach a certain age to date, and then we had a wall of rocks blocking our way back to each other… but would you do it all over again?”

“Will I be having this…” Steve said motioning to their current scene, “waiting for me at the end?”

“Yeah…”

Now thinking about it, Steve couldn’t believe the round trips his life had gone through. From being just his ma and him, to add Bucky to the family, to losing his ma, to losing Bucky, to finding Bucky, to losing him again, to almost die, to waking up and having a new family, to having Ari, to finding Bucky once again, to losing Bucky again, to raising his pup with his family, to finding Bucky… and losing him again, to keep on raising Ari, to finding Bucky and staying with him, telling him about their son, getting together, getting married, having a career in art, to Bucky having a career in engineering, to them becoming parents of Bee and Desi. To them finally getting what they wanted: to be together and happy with their family.

It had been a rollercoaster of emotions, full of craziness, of losing and finding, of losing forever, of crying, of frustration, of loneliness, of broken promises that then were made again, of questions, of doubts, of fights, of conflict, of reconciliations… it had been chaotic, but if Steve had to do it all over again from the beginning to get to the moment he was now, with his husband, his mate, the love of his life, and their happiness bringer, miraculous, desired children…

“Yes,” Steve said confidently, “I would do it again… just to get this with you,” Bucky transferred his dopey eyes to his husband and moved his head to reach Steve’s lips. “Would you?”

“Of course, Stevie… I’ll do anything to get this, to get them,” he whispered looking at the twins and extending his arm to touch Ari’s hair. “To get you with me, like I’ve wanted all along.”

Steve smiled at him, “my ma would be proud of herself that she let you date me… you protected me, you stood by my side… and well, you got me pregnant before you married me,” Bucky laughed, “that probably wasn’t on her plans, but you married me later on anyway, and we had two more pups while being married, so…”

“My ma would also be proud of us… she would’ve also had something to say about having a pup before getting married, but hell, Stevie, they would’ve died of happiness even if you didn’t have a ring on your finger.”

“I know, Buck… I wish they were here to meet them,” Steve said with a sad smile, “imagine that, our moms with our pups.”

“Craziness. They would move with us to never let them out of their sight,” Bucky answered taking the empty bottle out of Desi’s lips and accommodating her for the next step.

“I’m sure they would’ve been experts in making them sleep… and they would be cooking every day to save us that step,” he smiled more happily now, “they must be here, right? In some way?”

“Yes, baby, they are here with us, watching us raise our pups and being proud of us, I’m sure of that,” he gave Steve a reassuring smile with a small kiss. “I love you, I’d do everything back to end up here with you, you’re my everything.”

“I love you, too, there’s no one else I wanted to have this future than with you,” he looked at Bucky’s eyes and then his lips, to kiss him again and again.

“Oh, look at that, princess Bee is asleep,” Bucky whispered to not disturb her, Steve celebrated in silence and got up to take his daughter to the room that the team had prepared for the twins.

Bucky sighed watching Steve walk to the nursery and cleaned up Desi after she burped, and as he predicted, she fell asleep in his arms at the moment, so he followed Steve’s steps.

In the pink nursery that Vision had painted, Steve was watching Bee sleep with a smile on his face and a hand caressing her chest, apparently, he was singing to her, too. Bucky entered carefully not to make noise, but Steve noticed and moved to let him put Desi next to her sister. They admired them for a couple of minutes, seeing how Desi and Bee reached out their tiny hands to the other, to make sure that they were together, and Steve and Bucky left the room before they got too emotional.

Bucky gave Steve a kiss on the forehead and went to their room, and Steve went back to the living room. He took Ari’s long hair out of his face and took him in his arms like he was still a baby to take him to his room.

“Hmmm?”

“Hey Bubba, it’s mama, I’m taking you to your room so you can nap comfortably.”

“No nap, swim,” Ari said sleepily. “Swim.”

“I think you want to nap, then swim.”

“Nap?”

Steve laughed softly, “yes, nap, you nap, I’ll wake you later so you can go swimming, ok?” he said, leaving him over the cover of his bed, Ari nodded already getting comfortable and Steve kissed his hair. “I love you, my precious Ari,” he saw his son smile slightly in dreams and rub his face in the pillow, “sleep tight, Bubba, I’ll wake you.”

Back in their room, Bucky was changing to his swimming trunks that had Cap Shield’s all over it to go swim quietly not to bother the rest. Steve slapped his ass on his way to take his own swimming trunks out the closet, which caused him to be wrapped in Bucky’s arms for the next minute, kissing him, hands roaming everywhere they could touch, laughing and quietening themselves not to wake their children.

They made it to the deserted pool 10 minutes later, they left the baby monitor on where they could still listen if the girls woke up, and got in the water to take advantage of the good weather.

“I still can’t believe this is my life, our life,” Bucky said looking at Steve in all his glory, which meant that his husband was with his limbs around him like a Koala and he was holding him, his weigh eased by the water, not that Bucky couldn’t do that off the pool though. Steve’s body was wet and so was his hair, that seemed even lighter under the summer sun, making it look like a halo around his head. “You, me, the kids, our home back in Wakanda, our friends, our jobs…”

“After all this time I would’ve thought that you got used to it,” Steve joked carding his fingers through Bucky’s wet hair.

“I know,” he chuckled, “it’s just that before it seemed like something we only dreamt of, it was an ideal scenario… and now we have it, babe, we made it.”

Steve smiled nodding, “I know, I know… but we got it, and we love it.”

“Of course, I feel like I treasure everything we have built because of how hard we worked to get it, and how long we waited for it, too… but I wasn’t lying before,” he said catching Steve off guard, “about doing it all over again.”

“Oh…”

“Have you listened to that song that says that life isn’t about what’s waiting on the other side, but the climb?”

“Buck, two years ago Ari was obsessed with Miley Cyrus and never let me put any music I liked while we cooked, of course, I’ve listened to it,” he laughed dropping his forehead to press his with Bucky’s.

“Well, it’s kinda bullshit for us… our climb was awful, but what was waiting on the other side was completely worth it.”

“We should write our own song!” Bucky laughed at Steve’s enthusiasm, then kissing him for his adorableness. 

“Oh, yeah? How we should name it?”

“Hmmm, maybe Start All Over?”

Bucky laughed again and shook his head, Ari’s past obsession was still present in their memories, “that’s another Miley Cyrus song, Stevie.”

“Oh! I knew that the name didn’t come from my own imagination,” he said also laughing, “how about Start Again?”

“I like that one better,” Bucky smiled, chasing Steve’s lips once again. “Would you start again for us, my love?”

“Absolutely, I wasn’t lying earlier either…” Steve reassured him, “but we don’t have to do it anymore… we aren’t some song that is on repeat no more, we are our own song, we are living our song.”

“Yes, we are, my love…”

“We just had to start again one last time, Buck, and we did, we succeed, finally…” Bucky nodded again, a blissful smile on his lips, there was nothing more satisfying than hearing those words and knowing they were true, that what was waiting after the long, exhausting climb was their new beginning, their happy ending.

“Have I tell you today how much I love you?”

“Well, you usually do it 10 to 100 times a day… and I haven’t heard much of it today, you’re falling behind,” Steve said with a playful smile.

“I love you, Steve, you made everything worth it, my love, I love you.”

Steve's cheeks were pink because of the summer, the proof that he had been traveling for the past month and forgetting to apply sunscreen on his skin for applying it to his kids. However, Bucky knew him like the palm of his hand, and he saw how his husband, mother of their 3 children and partner in life since 1932, blushed heavily at the loving words, and that made him love him even more.

“I love you, too, Buck, I’ll always will,” Steve answered, this time taking Bucky’s place of surging forward to press their lips together.

The happy couple was having a moment, a cute moment, and that didn’t allow them to hear the steps on the grass that were walking towards the pool, so they were surprised by Sam’s voice exclaiming:

“Oh, c’mon, man! Can’t I come swimming without having to see you two going at it, sharing saliva in a communal place?”

Bucky and Steve never broke the kiss, in fact, they smiled in the middle of it, and Bucky raised a hand with a single finger up in the air, before putting it back on Steve’s behind.

“Ha, ha, so mature, Barnes, let’s see if you teach that to your son!” they heard the 'I'm done' sigh that Sam made and a, “nobody will get in that pool until you two change the water, I’m sure you defiled it already!”

That made them broke the kiss and laugh loudly, bothering Sam was one of Bucky’s favorites activities when they visited and sometimes Steve joined the game, knowing that Sam took it lightly if he was involved.

“What do you say, should we defile the pool, Stevie?” Bucky asked seductively.

“It’ll be my pleasure…”

“I heard that!” Sam exclaimed again and starting to walk back to where he had come from, “Avengers, assemble! Two old men are trying to fuck in our pool!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reaching this point in the story with me and our favorite boys!
> 
> Well... I guess I'll see you the next time I have something to share!
> 
> Beijinhos,
> 
> Fab.


End file.
